The Rebel and the Baby Doctor

He frowned. ‘I had my hopes pinned on the A and E job. I need to do a stint in Emergency at some point, but now it’s been delayed for a while. I suppose it won’t matter too much…I’ve not made up my mind what kind of specialty I want to follow yet, but at least I have another eighteen months before I need to make the decision. Unlike you…You’re in your final year, aren’t you? I heard you already had the offer of a job in London when you finish here.’

‘That’s right…unless I decide to go on and take specialist exams. I’m still thinking things through.’ Connor swallowed some of his coffee. ‘This last rotation before the summer break is going to be crunch time for me.’

‘Where will you actually be working?’ Jessica wiped her hands on a piece of kitchen towel and waited expectantly. ‘You wouldn’t be coming into Cardiac Care alongside me, would you?’ she murmured in a hopeful tone, her eyes growing large. But then she was thoughtful for a moment. ‘Mind you…that might not be an altogether good move. Some of the more frail female patients might see you and go all aflutter, and that wouldn’t do them too much good, would it?’

Connor chuckled. ‘I don’t know what to make of you, Jess. Are you always like this? You’re irrepressible.’

Jessica gave a nonchalant shrug. ‘I don’t think I am, not really. I just say it how I see it, and, to be fair, I’m not alone in thinking this way. After all, you weren’t short of company last night, were you? I’m sure the word must have gone around, because there were a lot more women here than we actually invited. From what I heard, you’re the talk of the nurses’ home.’

‘I’m not sure whether that’s a good or bad thing,’ Connor returned wryly. ‘Anyway, to go back to what you were saying, I’m actually really serious about medicine. I want to work in Accident and Emergency, and I need to cover all aspects of trauma care if I’m going to do that.’

Phoebe sent him a quick glance. ‘And has that worked out for you? Is that what you’ll be doing?’

He returned her gaze steadily. ‘Yes, as things have turned out, I’ll be doing a stint in A and E. I put in a late application, so I wasn’t too sure whether I stood a chance. There was some debate as to whether they wanted a junior or a senior to fill the vacancy, and in the end they decided that I would fit the bill.’

Phoebe’s eyes narrowed on him. Did that mean that he had taken the job Alex had been after? Was that the reason he had landed here in their patch without warning a couple of days ago? But, then, Alex still had plenty of time to do an A and E rotation. It was unfair to resent Connor for getting the placement, though that wouldn’t hurt in her attempts to keep her guard up where Connor was concerned.

She decided not to pursue the subject there and then. It wouldn’t be pleasant for Alex to hear how Connor had managed to land the job he had wanted.

Connor had always had the world at his fingertips. He’d never had to struggle for anything. Life treated him well, even when he didn’t deserve it, and yet Alex, who was sincere and dedicated, had to work doubly hard to achieve anything.

‘It’s time we were on our way,’ Jessica warned, with a glance at her watch. ‘I don’t want to be late for my induction meeting. Mr Kirk’s a stickler for timekeeping. It wouldn’t do to start off with a blot on my record.’

Phoebe nodded, and started to load the dishwasher with the plates they had used. ‘Are you ready to go, Alex?’ she asked. ‘I don’t think it will turn out to be half as difficult as you’re expecting it to be. You were always good with patients in the fracture clinic and you know a couple of the nurses in Ortho. I’m sure they’ll help you out.’

‘I’ve a feeling I’ll need all the help I can get.’ Alex grimaced. ‘Ortho’s right next to children’s A and E, isn’t it? Maybe I’ll be able to pop my head round the door and say hello—unless they decide to send you straight to Neonatal instead.’

‘Yes, I was wondering about that.’ Her mouth turned down a fraction. ‘I was hoping I could delay the neonatal side of things for a while.’ She frowned. ‘I really need to get my head around it. I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with all those tiny babies. They’re helpless little mites at the best of times, and even more so in Neonatal Intensive Care. I’m just not sure that I’m up to it—I’m not looking forward to it at all.’

Connor was looking at her oddly. ‘Do you not know where you’ll be? That seems a little strange.’

‘Well, yes, it is unusual, I suppose. They’ve had a lot of staff changes lately, by all accounts, and the consultants were still working things out when I spoke to them last.’ She sent him a direct look. ‘Anyway, you’ll be okay whatever happens. You’ve worked in A and E before, haven’t you? So there shouldn’t be too many surprises for you.’

‘I’ve never worked in children’s A and E before this. Apparently I’ll be covering both adult and paediatric emergencies, but the bulk of my time will be spent with the paediatric side of things.’ He returned her gaze steadily, and she stared at him in disbelief. Was he actually saying he was going to be working in the same department as she was?

‘Is something wrong?’ Connor was looking at her as though he was trying to work out what was going on in her head.

‘No, nothing at all,’ she said, schooling her expression into one of blank indifference. It wouldn’t do to let Connor know that she had any qualms about working with him, would it? It would only serve to give him ammunition and, once armed, he would tease her mercilessly. She would not let him get to her.

CHAPTER TWO

‘IT’S all right to hold him, you know? I promise you, he won’t break.’ The specialist nurse was smiling as she came to stand beside Phoebe.

‘But he’s so tiny and vulnerable. I just can’t get used to the idea that he’s dependent on us for his every need. It’s such an awesome responsibility.’

Phoebe was struggling to keep her emotions in check as she looked down at the infant in the cot. A whole range of feelings washed over her, threatening to engulf her. This baby was so fragile, so delicate in every way, with fingers no bigger than matchsticks, curled possessively around the ends of her thumbs, and little legs that were bunched up to his abdomen as though he was still enjoying the safety of the womb.

‘I think you’ll find that they’re a lot tougher than we give them credit for. Most babies are born with the instinct to survive. That’s why they cry and gasp and struggle to make their needs known.’

‘You’re probably right, but I’m glad you’re here to help me through this, at any rate,’ Phoebe said, glancing towards the nurse. ‘I have to check him out to see what’s causing his problems, but you’ve probably already diagnosed him on instinct.’

‘Sort of. I have my theories. I’ve worked in Neonatal for a long time, so we get a sense of what’s what.’ Katie’s mouth curved. ‘You’ll get used to it.’

‘I hope so.’ Phoebe gathered in a deep breath and gave her attention back to the baby. ‘Right you are, little man. Let’s see if we can get this over with as quickly and easily as possible. Best to do it now while you’re peaceful and your mum has gone to get herself something to eat.’ She looked back at Katie. ‘We’ll start with a blood test for bilirubin levels, and then I’ll order up an abdominal X-ray. He’s very jaundiced, and, given how poorly he is, and the fact that he’s already three weeks old, I suspect there’s more going on here than we initially thought.’

‘I think you’re right.’ Katie nodded. ‘He’s not making any weight gain and his skin colour is becoming darker despite the treatments he’s had so far.’

Phoebe gingerly picked up the infant, cradling the soft bundle in her arms for a minute or two and gazing down at him. ‘Okay, little fellow,’ she said, after a while, ‘let’s get this over with, shall we?’

It was around half an hour later by the time she had finished doing all the tests and returned the baby to his crib. His mother was waiting for him, and Phoebe watched as she sat down beside his cot and lightly stroked his cheek.

‘I took him away to do a few tests to see what’s what, but he looks comfortable enough for now, and he’s none the worse for wear,’ Phoebe told her, and the mother nodded, before turning her attention back to the child.

‘Thanks. He looks so ill, doesn’t he? Is it something I’ve done that’s made him this way? Is it my fault?’ The woman didn’t look at her but there was a tremor in her voice that hinted at the strain she was under.

‘No, it’s nothing that you’ve done,’ Phoebe hastened to assure her. ‘You had no control over what’s happening to him, I’m sure of that. His liver isn’t functioning properly, but we’re doing everything we can to help him through this, and I want you to know that we’re here for you whenever you need us. As soon as I have all the test results I’ll come back and talk to you. Don’t be afraid to ask anything at all. We’ll do our best to answer your questions.’

The woman seemed to be satisfied with that for the moment. ‘Thank you,’ she said.

Phoebe left her with the baby and went to pick up the samples she had taken, making sure that the vials were labelled and packaged correctly. ‘I’m going over to the lab with these,’ she told Katie. ‘It’ll be quicker if I take them myself. Bleep me if you need me at all.’

She left the samples and forms with the lab technician a short time later, and she was heading back towards Reception when she saw that Connor was walking in her direction. Steeling herself, she continued towards the lift bay.

His stride was long, confident and supple, and she tried not to notice how he managed to look so much like a doctor at ease with himself and the world. Why was it that everything fell into place for him as though he had been born to the job? What had happened to that rebellious young man who’d challenged the adults around him at every opportunity and had generally made his presence felt?

‘Hi, there,’ he said cheerfully. ‘I’ve been wondering if I would run into you at all today. I heard that you’d been sent over to Neonatal. How’s it going?’ He looked at her closely. ‘Not so well, from the looks of things.’

‘You’re right,’ she answered. ‘I’m not at all sure that I’m cut out for it. The babies are all so frail and ill, as though they’re just clinging on to life, and I feel as though they need someone much more capable than me to take care of them.’

‘You wanted more time to get used to the idea?’

She nodded. ‘It was a bit of a shock to find myself posted there. Apparently I’m also supposed to attend A and E if there’s a case that needs to be transferred to Neonatal. These next few months are going to be sheer hell.’

‘I’m sure you’ll survive.’ His grey eyes met hers. ‘You can always come and cry on my shoulder. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, any time.’

She gave a brief, tight smile. ‘Yeah, sure you will.’

He draped an arm around her shoulders. ‘You’re a good doctor, Phoebe—I’ve heard people say as much. You qualified the year before last, didn’t you, and you have the world at your fingertips. What you need is to have more confidence in yourself.’

‘That’s easier said than done, isn’t it? It’s all very well for you, in your third year after qualifying—you must already know that you’ve made the grade.’

She tried to keep a level tone, but it was hard for her to even think straight with his hand curved around her shoulder that way. His closeness was compelling, as though he would shield her from all life’s hardships. She could feel the warmth of his fingers seeping through the cotton of her blouse, right through to her flesh, and little eddies of sensation were rippling out in ever-widening circles along her arm and the back of her neck. It was comforting and disturbing, all at the same time.

It was distracting. She shouldn’t be feeling like this…She had no idea why Connor’s touch should make her feel so strange. Alex was the man she cared about, the one who made her feel warm and protected, the one who made her light up inside with his smile.

Connor was the one who brought a ripple of nervous excitement to her stomach, who filled her mind and her stomach with fluttery feelings of peculiar expectation. As a youth he had always been wayward and rebellious, a boy who had made her feel unsettled and somehow represented a sensual threat to her well-being, but as a man he was doubly so, for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain to herself. All she knew was that he was to be avoided at all costs. It wouldn’t do to let him pierce her defences.

‘You’ll do it, too. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll make the grade. You’ll see, you’ll work out what it is that you really want, and you’ll end up with the career that satisfies you beyond all else.’ He smiled down at her, his grey-blue eyes searching her face and seeking out everything she would have kept hidden from him. ‘You were always the sensible one, the girl who had her priorities all worked out. People know they can rely on you, Phoebe, and that will go for the children in your care, too.’