Eighteenth Century Waifs

‘The Wainscote was adorn’d with Quacks’ Bills, instead of Pictures; never an Emperick in the Town, but had his Name in a Lacquered Frame, containing a fair Invitation for a Fool and his Money to be soon parted.’

The newspapers teemed with quack advertisements. These, of course, we have; but we also have preserved to us a quantity of the ephemeral hand-bills, which, presumably, were kept on account of the intrinsic merits they possessed. They are a curious study. There was the ‘Oxford Doctor at the Fleet Prison, near Fleet Bridge, London,’ who would sell ten pills in a box for sixpence, warranted a cure for the ‘Scurvy, Dropsie, and Colt-evil,’ would provide a remedy for ‘Headach, Sore Eyes, Toothach, Stomachach, Bleeding, Scorbutick Gums, Black, Yellow, foul Teeth, Cramp, Worms, Itch, Kibes, and Chilblains; the Price of each proper Specifick, Twopence. Teeth or stumps of Teeth, Drawn with Ease and Safety, Let Blood neatly, Issues or Setons Curiously made; For Two Pence each, and welcome. By the Doctor that puts forth this paper, you may be Taught Writing, Arithmetick, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, at reasonable Rates by the great, Or Two Pence each of them by the Week.’ Presumably, as he does not advertise it, he could not teach manners at the same traditional price.

There was another who sold the Elixir Stomachum which was sold at the various coffee-houses about town, and he complains thus: ‘☞ Garrowaye, the Apple-man at the Exchange, who had it of me, to sell, for five or six years, I have lately found out, is Counterfeiting it, and have removed mine from him; and what he now sells is a Counterfeit sort, and not the Right, as was formerly Sold there.’

There was a man, living in Blackfriars, who was so modest that he veiled his identity under the initials R.C., who, from two in the afternoon till night, ‘will give to all People a Secret how they may utterly destroy Buggs without injury to their Goods, at reasonable rates; do as you are Taught, and if any be doubtful of the truth of it, they may have full satisfaction of them that have Experienced it.’

Here is a gentleman who gives a minute address. ‘In Petty France, Westminster, at a house with a black dore, and a Red Knocker, between the Sign of the Rose and Crown and Jacob’s Well, is a German who hath a Powder which, with the blessing of God upon it, certainly cures the Stone, &c… If any person of known Integrity will affirm that upon following their directions the cure is not perfected, they shall have their Money returned. Therefore be not unwilling to come for help, but suspend your Judgment till you have try’d, and then speak as you find.’

There is another, which may belong to the previous century – but it is so hard to tell, either by means of type or wood blocks – put forth by ‘Salvator Winter, an Italian of the City of Naples, Aged 98 years, Yet, by the Blessing of God, finds himself in health, and as strong as anyone of Fifty, as to the Sensitive part; Which first he attributes to God, and then to his Elixir Vitæ, which he always carries in his pocket adayes, and at Night under his pillow; And when he finds himself distemper’d, he taketh a Spoonful or two, according as need requireth.‘ It is needless to say that the Elixir was warranted to cure every evil under the sun, including such diverse maladies as catarrhs, sore eyes, hardness of hearing, toothache, sore throat, consumption, obstructions in the stomach, and worms. The net was arranged to catch every kind of fish. In fact, his business was so profitable that he had a successor, ‘Salvator Winter, Junior,’ who says thus: ‘My father, aged 98 years, yet enjoys his perfect health, which, next to the blessing of God, he attributes to the Elixir Vitæ having alway a bottle of it in his pocket, drinking a spoonful thereof four or five times a day; snuffing it very strongly up his Nostrils, and bathing his Temples; thus by prevention, he fortifies his vital Spirits.’

Nor did the sterner sex monopolise the profession of quackdom, for ‘At the Blew-Ball in Grays-Inn Lane, near Holborn Barrs, next Door to a Tallow-Chandler, where you may see my Name upon a Board over the Door, liveth Elizabeth Maris, the True German Gentlewoman lately arrived.’ It seems that we were much indebted to Germany for our quacks, for ‘At the Boot and Spatter dash,[99 - A covering, or gaiter, to protect the legs from dirt or wet.] next Door but One to the Vine Tavern, in Long-Acre, near Drury Lane, Liveth a German Dr. and Surgeon, Who by the blessing of GOD on his great Pains, Travels and Experience, hath had wonderful Success in the Cure of the Diseases following,’ &c. There was also ‘Cornelius à Tilbourg, Sworn Chirurgeon in Ordinary to K. Charles the II., to our late Sovereign K. William, as also to Her present Majesty Queen Ann.’

A certain John Choke, whose motto was ‘Nothing without God,’ and was ‘an approved Physician; and farther, Priviledged by his Majesty,’ advertised ‘an Arcane which I had in Germany, from the Famous and most Learned Baptista Van Helmont, of worthy Memory (whose Daughter I Wedded), and whose Prœscripts most Physicians follow.’

Curative and magical powers seem to have extended from seventh sons of seventh sons to women – for I find an advertisement, ‘At the Sign of the Blew-Ball, at the upper end of Labour in vain-Street, next Shadwell-New-Market, Liveth a Seventh Daughter, who learn’d her Skill by one of the ablest Physicians in England (her uncle was one of K. Charles’s and K. James’s twelve Doctors), who resolves all manner of Questions, and interprets Dreams to admiration, and hath never fail’d (with God’s Blessing) what she took in hand.’ Also there was a book published late in the seventeenth century, called ‘The Woman’s Prophecy, or the Rare and Wonderful DOCTRESS, foretelling a Thousand strange monstrous things that shall come to pass before New Year’s day next, or afterwards – . She likewise undertakes to cure the most desperate Diseases of the Female Sex, as the Glim’ring of the Gizzard, the Quavering of the Kidneys, the Wambling Trot, &c.’ A man who lived at the ‘Three Compasses’ in Maiden Lane, also issued a hand bill that he would infallibly cure ‘several strange diseases, which (though as yet not known to the world) he will plainly demonstrate to any Ingenious Artist to be the greatest Causes of the most common Distempers incident to the Body of Man. The Names of which take as follow: The Strong Fives, the Marthambles, the Moon-Pall, the Hockogrocle.’

Then there was a medicine which was administered to children even in my young days, ‘Daffy’s famous Elixir Salutis, prepared by Katharine Daffy. The finest now exposed to Sale, prepar’d from the best Druggs, according to Art, and the Original Receipt, which my Father, Mr. Thomas Daffy, late Rector of Redmile, in the Valley of Belvoir, having experienc’d the Virtues of it, imparted to his Kinsman, Mr. Anthony Daffy, who publish’d the same to the Benefit of the Community, and his own great Advantage. This very Original Receipt is now in my possession, left to me by my father aforesaid, under his own Hand. My own Brother, Mr. Daniel Daffy, formerly Apothecary in Nottingham, made this ELIXIR from the same Receipt, and Sold it there during his Life. Those, who know me, will believe what I Declare; and those who do not, may be convinc’d that I am no Countefeit, by the Colour, Tast, Smell, and just Operation of my Elixir.’ This was, however, disputed by one John Harrison – and the rivals of nearly two centuries ago, remind us forcibly of the claimants to the original recipe of Bond’s Marking Ink.

A man sold a useful medicine. ‘A most excellent Eye Water, which cures in a very short time all Distempers relating to the Eyes, from whatever Cause soever they proceed, even tho’ they have been of seven, eight, nine, or ten Years’ continuance… This excellent Water effectually takes away all Rabies or Pimples in the face, or any Part of the Body; it also dissolves any small, or new-come Wens or Bunches under the Skin, so easily that it can hardly be perceived.’

One quack blossomed forth in verse, and thus describes himself: ‘In Cripplegate Parish, in Whitecross Street, almost at the farther End, near Old Street (turning in by the sign of the Black Croe, in Goat Alley, straightforward down three steps, at the sign of the Blew Ball), liveth one of above Forty Years’ Experience, who with God’s Blessing performeth these cures following:

‘To all that please to come, he will and can
Cure most Diseases incident to Man.
The Leprosie, the Cholic, and the Spleen,
And most Diseases common to be seen.
Although not cured by Quack Doctors’ proud,
And yet their Name doth ring and range aloud,
With Riches, and for Cures which others do,
Which they could not perform, and this is true.
This Doctor he performeth without doubt, }
The Ileak Passion, Scurvy, and the gout, }
Even to those the Hospitals turn out.’ }

Such ground as one did not cover, another did. Take, for instance, the following: ‘In Surry-Street, in the Strand, at the Corner House with a White-Balcony and Blue-Flower pots, liveth a Gentlewoman, who

‘Hath a most excellent Wash to beautifie the Face, which cures all Redness, Flushings, or Pimples. Takes off any Yellowness, Morpheu, Sunburn, or Spots on the Skin, and takes away Wrinckles and Driness, caused too often by Mercurial Poysonous Washes, rendring the worst of Faces fair and tender, and preserves ’em so. You may have from half a Crown to five Pound a Bottle. You may also have Night Masks, Forehead Pieces, incomparable whitepots, and Red Pomatum for the lips, which keeps them all the Year plump and smooth, and of a delicate natural colour. She has an admirable Paste to smooth and whiten the Hands, with a very good Tooth powder, which cleanses and whitens the Teeth. And a Water to wash the Mouth, which prevents the Scurvy in the Gums and cures where ’tis already come.

‘You may have a Plaster and Water which takes off Hair from any part of the Body, so that it shall never come again. She has also a most excellent Secret to prevent the Hair from falling, causing it to grow where it is wanting in any part of the Head. She also shapes the Eye-brows, making them perfectly beautiful, without any pain, and raises low Foreheads as high as you please. And colours Grey or Red Hair to a lovely Brown, which never decays, changes, or smoots the Linnen. She has excellent Cosmeticks to anoint the Face after the Small Pox, which wears out any Scars, Marks, or Redness; and has great skill in all manner of sore Eyes.

‘She has a most excellent Dyet Drink which cures the worst of Consumptions, or any Impurity of the Blood: And an Antiscorbutick spirit, which, being taken one spoonful in the Morning, and another at Night, with moderate Exercise, cures the Scurvy, tho’ never so far gone, and all broke out in Blotches: with many other Secrets in Physick, which you may be satisfied in when you speak with her… She has an approved Remedy for Barrenness in Women.’

Very late in the preceding century (he died May 12, 1691), there was a most famous quack, Dr. Thomas Saffold, one of whose handbills I give as a curiosity:

‘Dear Friends, let your Disease be what God will,
Pray to Him for a Cure – try Saffold’s Skill,
Who may be such a healing Instrument
As will Cure you to your own Heart’s Content.
His Medicines are Cheap, and truly Good,
Being full as safe as your daily Food.
Saffold he can do what may be done, by
Either Physick or true Astrology:
His Best Pills, Rare Elixirs, and Powder,
Do each Day Praise him Lowder and Lowder.
Dear Country-men, I pray be you so Wise, }
When Men Back-bite him, believe not their Lyes, }
But go see him and believe your own Eyes; }
Then he will say you are Honest and Kind,
Try before you Judge, and Speak as you Find.

‘By Thomas Saffold, an Approved and Licensed Physician and Student in Astrology, who (through God’s Mercy), to do good, still liveth at the Black Ball and Old Lilly’s Head, next Door to the Feather-Shops that are within Black-fryers Gate-way, which is over against Ludgate Church, just by Ludgate in London. Of him the Poor, Sore, Sick, and Lame may have Advice for nothing, and proper Medicines for every particular Distemper, at reasonable Rates ready prepared, with plain Directions how to use them, to cure either Men, Women, or Children of any Disease or Diseases afflicting any Body, whether inward or outward, of what Name or Nature soever (if Curable); Also of this you may be sure, he hath Medicines to prevent as well as Cure.

‘Lastly, He doth with great certainty and privacy: Resolve all manner of Lawful Questions, according to the Rules of Christian Astrology, and more than Twenty One Years’ Experience.’

Talk of modern quacks – they are but second-rate to Saffold! His Pillulæ Londinenses, or London pills, were advertised that ‘not only the meaner sort of all Ages and each Sex, but people of Eminence, both for their Rank in the World and their parts, have found admirable success in taking these Pills.’

This panacea was warranted to cure ‘Gout, Dropsy, Coma, Lethargy, Caries, Apoplexy, Palsy, Convulsions, Falling Sickness, Vertigo, Madness, Catarrhs, Headache, Scald, and Sore Heads, sore Eyes, Deafness, Toothache, sore Mouth, sore and swollen Throat, foul Stomach, bad Digestion, Vomiting, Pain at the Stomach, sour Belching, Colic, Twisting of the Guts, Looseness, Worms, all Obstructions of the Pancreas, of the Mesaraic Veins, of the passages of the Chyle, and of the Liver and Spleen, the Jaundice, Cachexy, Hypochondriac Melancholy, Agues, Itch, Boils, Rheumatism, Pains and Aches, Surfeits by Eating and Hard Drinking, or by Heats and Colds (as some call them).’

Then there comes a charming bit of candour almost sufficient to disarm the unwary: ‘They are also good in taking the Waters. I would not advise them by any means in the Bloody Flux, nor in continual Fevers, but they are good to purge after either of those Diseases is over, or to carry off the Humor aforehand. They must also be foreborn by Women with Child. Otherwise they are good for any Constitution, and in any Clime. They are Durable many years, and good at Sea as well as on Land.’

Thomas Saffold knew well the value of advertising, and scattered his very varied handbills broadcast. Presumably, like modern quacks, he made money. Of course he died, and his epitaph is as follows (he originally was a weaver):

‘Here lies the Corpse of Thomas Saffold,
By Death, in spite of Physick, baffled;
Who, leaving off his working loom,
Did learned doctor soon become.
To poetry he made pretence,
Too plain to any man’s own sense;
But he when living thought it sin
To hide his talent in napkin;
Now Death does Doctor (poet) crowd
Within the limits of a shroud.’

There was a harmless remedy advertised, even though it was a fraud – and this was the loan, or sale, of necklaces to be worn by children in teething.

THE FAMOUS AND VIRTUOUS NECKLACES

‘One of them being of no greater weight than a small Nutmeg, absolutely easing Children in Breeding Teeth without Pain; thereby preventing Feavers, Ruptures, Convulsions, Rickets, and such attendant Distempers, to the Admiration of thousands of the City of London, and Counties adjoining, who have experienced the same, to their great comfort and satisfaction of the Parents of the Children who have used them. Besides the Decrease in the Bills of Mortality, apparent (within this Year and a half) of above one half of what formerly Dyed; and are now Exposed to sale for the Publick good, at five shillings each Necklace, &c.’

Then there was a far higher-priced necklace, but, as it also operated on adults, it was perhaps stronger and more efficacious. ‘A necklace that cures all sorts of fits in children, occasioned by Teeth or any other Cause; as also Fits in Men and Women. To be had at Mr. Larance’s in Somerset Court, near Northumberland House in the Strand; price ten shillings for eight days, though the cure will be performed immediately.’ And there was the famous ‘Anodyne Necklace.’

In the preceding century there were some famous quacks, notably Sir Kenelm Digby, who, with his sympathetic powder, worked wonders, especially one instance, an account of which he read to a learned society at Montpellier. He recounted how a certain learned gentleman, named Howell, found two of his friends engaged in a duel with swords, how he rushed to part them, and catching hold of one of their blades, his hand was severely cut, the other antagonist cutting him severely on the back of his hand. Seeing the mischief they had done, they bound up his hand with his garter, and took him home. Mr. Howell was of such note that the King sent his own physician to him, but without avail; and there was expectation that the hand would mortify and have to be amputated. Here Sir Kenelm, who knew him, stepped in, and, being applied to by his friend to try his remedies, consented. Let him tell his own tale.

‘I asked him then for anything that had blood upon it; so he presently sent for his garter, wherewith his hand was first bound, and as I called for a basin of water, as if I would wash my hands, I took a handful of powder of vitriol, which I had in my study, and presently dissolved it. As soon as the bloody garter was brought me, I put it in the basin, observing, in the interim, what Mr. Howell did, who stood talking with a gentleman in a corner of my chamber, not regarding at all what I was doing. He started suddenly, as if he had found some strange alteration in himself. I asked him what he ailed.

‘“I know not what ails me; but I feel no more pain. Methinks that a pleasing kind of freshness, as it were a wet cold napkin, did spread over my hand, which hath taken away the inflammation that tormented me before.”