Being a wife and mother was all she ever wanted. She didn’t seem to be winning in that department, either. She rolled her head back and closed her tired eyes.
A grown woman with an eleven-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter to raise and not a marketable skill in sight.
Her mother lectured her for the past twelve years about being the good wife, even after the divorce. People in her family did not get divorced.
Against all evidence, Elizabeth Lawson hung on to the dream that Tommy would come back and beg her forgiveness, becoming the model family man. Vickie knew it was beyond over. She failed at marriage and had messed up the perfect family history. Her mother would have to find a way to deal.
The one thing she would not be, could not be, was a failure at being a mom. Her kids needed her more than ever since Tommy’s disappearing act.
She tore out another photo, her mother fussing over the intricate pile of hair the hairdresser had created around the bridal veil. Miles of perfectly preserved white lace and tiny beaded pearls surrounded Vickie along with all her mother’s plans and expectations.
Seth needed her to be strong. She knew the divorce and his father’s abandonment hurt him beyond words.
Flipping the heavy page, she ripped out another photo. Into the fire the kiss went. Running down the steps of the church...gone.
The three-foot wedding cake...history.
The breeze blew smoke into her face. Vickie’s chest and throat started to burn as tears finally escaped, one after another. Her eyesight blurred as she watched each picture vanish in the multicolored inferno.
Headlights made their way down the long drive. She gritted her teeth. Why couldn’t her mother just leave her alone in her misery? Using the bottom of her oversize T-shirt, Vickie wiped her face.
The car door opened and closed.
“Vickie?” A strong, masculine voice surprised her. She hung her head. Much worse than her mother, the ex-best friend that almost arrested her today. Officer Jake Torres.
“I could see the flames from the highway. You know the county is in the middle of a burn ban.” He walked straight toward her.
She pretended not to notice his wide shoulders or powerful legs. He was a walking cliché of a Texas Ranger. “Officer Torres, I would think you had better things to do than bother women—” A leftover sob escaped her chest. She swallowed it back down “—on their own property. Is this an arrestable offense also?”
He sat on his heels, hunched next to her as he picked up a picture that had fallen in the dirt. “Wedding pictures?”
She stared at the fire, hoping he would leave. She didn’t want to share her humiliation with anyone, especially her childhood crush. Every girl at school had giggled whenever Jake walked by. He had been her best friend but completely out of reach.
He thrust his chin to the box at her feet. “In honor of your anniversary?”
She turned to him in shock. “You remembered my wedding date? Tommy never did.” She should look away. Please, just go away before I start to think I could rely on you. “You weren’t even there.”
This time he broke eye contact first. “Yeah, I...um... I had to be somewhere else.”
Why didn’t you take me with you? “You had to run off and save the world.”
He reached out and touched her arm. His dark hand stood in contrast to her pale skin.
“Vickie, are you all right? Has Tommy done something?” She jerked her arm back. Don’t let him think you need a friend, Victoria Maria. She turned her face away from him and focused on the fire. “I’m fine. This is not about Tommy. He’s in Florida planning his new future, and I’m here with the kids. That’s all I need.” Please leave before I do something stupid like cry in front of you.
He pulled his hand back and stood. “You’re a good mother. Listen, I know you’ve had a couple of rough years, but you have people that are here for you if you need anything.”
The problem with that was she needed to learn to take care of herself. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she focused on the popping of the fire. Maybe if she ignored him, he’d go away.
* * *
Looking around, he spotted the green water hose, neatly curled up like a snake. With a turn of the old knob, he had the water running full blast. Stretching the hose from the old barn to the pit, he started smothering the flames. Jake scanned the area for any wayward embers.
Vickie burst from her chair almost eye to eye with him, even barefoot. He always liked her height. He frowned. Was that the problem? His mother was always trying to match him up with short women.
“Hey! That’s my fire. Just because you wear a uniform now doesn’t mean you...”
“Victoria, it’s so dry, the smallest spark could turn your father’s ranch into an inferno.”
Standing, she crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at him.
He smiled.
The hostility in her glare was so much better than the defeated look he saw earlier.
With a deep sigh, she looked away and ran her fingers through her dark blond mane. “I’m sorry.”
Tonight her hair hung loose, looking wild as the flames reflected off the long strands. He loved it down. Most of the time, she kept it styled and starched. He had to lean in a bit to hear what she muttered.
“I don’t know why I say the things I do. It just pops in my head and out of my mouth.” She turned her face back to him. Her eyelashes glistened with moisture. “I’m so tired of fighting. Seth and I had another argument earlier today.”
Jake concentrated on putting out the flames. He could control this fire for her. He had no idea how to help her with the rest of her life. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Talk to him, explain what’s going on. Believe me, sons are very forgiving of their mothers.”
He shoveled some dirt from the nearby mound into the pit. The last of the flames died out, separating them with a column of thick smoke.
She flopped back down in the camping chair. “I’m sure he’d be much happier without me as his mother.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t blame him. I don’t want to be around me, either.”
“Seth loves you. He’s just angry and confused right now. Give him some time.” He coiled the hose. Standing a good ten feet away, he could still see her shivering as she huddled into a ball.
With the fire out, all the heat vanished, leaving the cold breeze and smoke between them.
He didn’t want to leave, but he had to get going.
A few steps and he was next to her. He slipped off his jacket and laid it over her thin T-shirt. Sitting on his heels next to the camouflaged chair, his hand resting on the canvas arm, as close to her as possible without touching, he said, “Listen, Vickie, I know it’s been a tough couple of years, but life will get better.”
“Thanks.” Her tight-lipped answer gave him the first clue that their friendly discussion had ended about as fast as it had started.
He stood. “Call me if you need anything.” Like the hardheaded idiot he was, he waited. After a few extensive minutes loaded with nothing but his own breathing, Jake stepped back. “Good night, Victoria.” Another pause, just to make sure she had nothing else to say.
With a locked jaw, he walked to his patrol car. He forced himself to look straight ahead, no turning back, not one glance over his shoulder. No, she had made it clear over the years she didn’t need him. So why did he think tonight would be any different?
* * *
Vickie watched as each step took Jake farther away from her. She bit her lip as her fingernails cut into her palms. The urge to call him ripped at her throat. He slipped into his black SUV and reversed out of her drive. A new type of sadness wrapped itself around her heart. She hadn’t felt so alone with him next to her.
Thick smoke rose from the fire pit. She wanted to throw her whole album into the now-soggy, mud-filled hole, but it was a part of her children’s history. A part of her history—the good, bad and ugly.
Instead of dwelling on old hurts, she knew her time would be better spent focusing on the good and reading her Bible. Two months ago, holding her unconscious son’s cold hand, she prayed for God’s forgiveness, wise words and a new heart.