Koala Calamity

“Are you still here?” grumbled Bro. “I thought I told you to sling your hook!”

“I’m bored,” said Squirt.

Bro thought for a moment. “Bored, eh?”

Squirt nodded.

“See that jumped-up budgie over there?”

Squirt looked where Bro was looking. “The sulphur-crested cockatoo, you mean?”

“Yeah,” said Bro. “Bet you can’t sneak up and nab one of its tail feathers before I count to a hundred.”

“A hundred?” said Squirt.

Bro nodded.

“Bet you I can.”

“Three… two… one… go!” said Bro.

Squirt was gone in a flash, finally leaving Dude and Bro in peace once again, wedged between branches high above The Acacia Koala Sanctuary.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude. “Genius, mate. Pure genius.”

For a while, the only sound to be heard was the sound of Bro chomping contentedly on his eucalyptus branch as the sun rose higher and higher in the cloudless sky.

Suddenly Dude furrowed his brow. Or at least, he furrowed his brow as best a koala could. “Er, Bro?” he said. “Aren’t you s’posed to be counting up to a hundred?”

But there was no reply. Bro had fallen fast asleep.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude, who was feeling in need of a kip himself. All that chilling had worn him out.

“SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!” went the sulphur-crested cockatoo in the neighbouring tree.

“Aaaaaaaaaaagh!” screamed Dude and Bro, together.

A few seconds later, Squirt appeared – breathless from climbing back up the trunk in double-quick time, but triumphant nevertheless.

“I did it! I did it!” he cried, clutching a brilliant white feather in one of his paws.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude. “You did, didn’t you? Good on yer, Squirt!”

Bro shook his head in disbelief, but couldn’t help chuckling too.

What with all the squawking and all the chuckling, no one noticed Mrs M suddenly appear in the treetop.

“What’s going on?” she said.

“Nothing, Ma,” said Bro.

“Hello, Dude,” said Mrs M.

“G’day, Mrs M,” said Dude. “Still no sign of the joey then?”

“Any day now,” smiled Mrs M, patting her pouch. “Any day now.”

“I reckon it’s going to be a girl,” said Dude.

“Do you, now?” said Mrs M.

“I reckon it’s gonna be annoying,” said Bro. “Even more annoying than Squirt.”

“Hello, Squirty-Wirty,” said Mrs M. “Didn’t see you there!”

“Maaaaaa!” said Squirt through gritted teeth. “I’ve told you not to call me that!”

“Aw, have you?” squeaked Mrs M. “Come to Mumsy-Wumsy for a cuddly-wuddly!”

“No!” said Squirt. “Don’t want to!”

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro.

“Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

Squirt was embarrassed. His mum calling him Squirty-Wirty was bad enough – but doing it in front of Dude and Bro was even worse! It was a good job koalas couldn’t blush.

It’s not fair, thought Squirt. He’d brought his brother a eucalyptus branch. He’d nabbed a feather from the sulphur-crested cockatoo. And still they were making fun of him! When were they going to stop treating him like a baby?

“Come on, boys,” said Mrs M. “Time to go.”

Dude and Bro immediately stopped chuckling.

“Go?” said Bro. “Go where?”

“The big zoo!” said Mrs M. “Remember?”

Bro looked at Dude, then at Mrs M. He clearly hadn’t remembered. Neither had Squirt.

“We’re all going to the big zoo on the other side of the city!” said Mrs M.

“All of us?” said Squirt.

“Just us koalas,” said Mrs M.

“How long for?” said Squirt.