Now, because of the confusion in his mind, and the awful implications of what the psychiatrist had said, he was deeply insecure, and his fears were tenfold.
There were so many questions. If he had been haunted by a real experience as a child, then where was the place he saw in his nightmares? What was he doing there and what was it that filled him with such terror? Someone else had been there, he was sure of it now. But who could it have been?
One thing he knew for certain. He would not rest, until he found out the truth but, he would need to do it his way.
Whatever the cost.
Running across the street, Jack cut along the alley and went down towards the car park. He was both excited and nervous, because at long last he had come to a decision, one which had played on his mind for some time, but which he had set aside because of Molly.
His plan now was to face his demons. He was determined to get to the root of it all – however much he was afraid of the truth. Going to the psychiatrist had at least given him the push he needed. He was ready to go back now. As far back as the beginning.
He had to believe that the truth could never be as terrifying as the nightmares.
Molly would not like it, he knew that much. He also knew that now his mind was made up, nothing – and no one – would stop him.
Chapter Six (#ulink_0b929598-27e9-5231-b34d-5c2ae6ac6de5)
AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY, Branagan delighted in reprimanding Jack in front of the others, and this time was no exception. ‘You were meant to be back here within two hours, but it’s nearly three o’clock!’ he boomed, making sure the rest of the staff could hear him. ‘That is not what was agreed. The others have been run ragged, covering for you. I’ve half a mind to take this out of your salary, Redmond.’ Leaning forward with his hands on the desk, he glared up at Jack. ‘Right then! Let’s hear your explanation.’
Jack was in no mood for a fight. ‘I’m sorry the others had to cover for me, Mr Branagan. But I had a doctor’s appointment, as you know. The thing is, it went on longer than I anticipated.’
He was angered by the other man’s threats. ‘As for taking a bite out of my salary, I believe that would be unwarranted. I’ve never before asked for time off. I always stay on to clinch a sale . . . even if it takes me beyond my working hours – overtime, as you must know, is not paid. I shall be staying late tonight to make up the time, and, as far as I’m aware, no one has ever before been made to cover for me.’
When the other man appeared taken back by his outright and honest reasoning, Jack swiftly went in with his proposition. ‘You’ve been asking if I might be interested in taking on the new northern showroom. Well, I’ve been giving it some thought, and the answer is yes. If it’s still available, I’ll do it. Just say when and I’ll be ready.’ There, it was said. One way or another, with or without the job, he was on his way north.
‘Good grief, man!’ Stuart Branagan almost leapt over the desk. Rushing round to shake Jack by the hand, he gushed with praise. ‘I’ve always known you were the right man for the job,’ he said. ‘All that about docking your salary – it was all just hot air – it’s been a stressful day. I value you too much, and you know it. There’s not a man here who has the experience or the number of sales under his belt that you have. Good decision, Redmond!’
Gripping Jack’s hand in his meaty fist, he almost shook it off. ‘Well done, that man!’
From the reception desk, Jan saw the exchange and was curious. ‘Cor! Branagan looks like the cat that got the cream,’ she murmured to herself. ‘I bet the old bugger got Jack to accept that job up north. He’s been trying to get rid of Jack from the minute he sat his fat backside in that manager’s chair. I reckon he’s jealous. That’s because Jack’s too good. Too well-liked and respected, and he’s stealing that fat little toad’s limelight. Hmh!’ Disgruntled, she went off for an unofficial fag-break. And if Branagan came after her, she was ready for him!
Beside himself with excitement, the manager was delighted to be seeing the back of Jack, even though he was the best salesman he had ever encountered. Branagan was well aware that he himself only had this job as manager because, for whatever reason, Redmond had previously turned it down. That was a humiliating position to be in.
‘Very well, Redmond, you get on with your work for now, and I’ll make a few calls . . . see how the land lies. As you know, we understand the new showrooms will be up and running within the month, with the first consignment of vehicles being delivered towards the end of June. I do believe they now have a full contingency of staff, with the exception of the manager.’
He gave a little snigger. ‘I think they’ve been waiting for you, Jack. It’ll be a feather in your cap, eh? More responsibility, more money and a secure future.’
Jack thanked him, and made his excuses to leave. ‘I’d best get on.’
‘Yes, well, we do need to get this business signed and sealed while the iron’s hot.’ What he really meant was, before Jack had time to change his mind, ‘So I’ll call you in when I’ve had some feedback from Head Office. All right?’
Jack made for the door. ‘Thank you, yes. I’ll be about.’
As Jack closed the door behind him, Branagan punched his fist in the air. ‘ YES!’ Not wanting to let the grass grow under his feet, he set about making his calls. ‘The sooner I’ve got Redmond’s signature on that contract, the better!’
At 5.30 p.m., half an hour before closing time, Jan told Jack, ‘The boss wants to see you in his office, after the others have left.’ She had already guessed what was going on. ‘I’m thinking he’s talked you into accepting that post up north. Would I be right, Jack? Have you gone and said yes?’
When Jack gave a nod, she groaned. ‘I knew it! I knew he’d wear you down eventually. Don’t go, Jack! Don’t let him win. You know he’s been determined to get you as far away from here as possible, because you were offered the manager’s job here before him and you turned it down. Your presence here is a constant threat to him. Please, Jack! You won’t be happy, away from everything familiar.’
Jack sighed. ‘You’re right, I will miss everything familiar,’ he smiled at her, ‘especially you and your weak tea and cheeky comments. I’ll miss all of you, but my decision has nothing to do with him. It’s what I want.’ His thoughts turned inward. ‘It’s something I have to do. Something I should have done years ago.’
Disheartened, she went to get her jacket and handbag, ready to go home. ‘We’ll all miss you, I know that.’ It wouldn’t be the same here without him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, and despite the presence of Molly in his life, Jan had deluded herself that one day, she would persuade Jack to take her out, and he might even grow to love her. But that would never happen now. Tomorrow, she decided, she would switch her attention to Bill West, the new young recruit. ‘He’s a bit wet behind the ears,’ she muttered into her compact, while painting her lips bright pink, ‘but he’ll mature, and when he does, I’ll be there to teach him a thing or two.’ The naughty thoughts cheered her up no end.
When the others were making their way out, Jack went into the main office, as requested. ‘Good man, Jack! Sit yourself down,’ said Branagan. He could hardly hide his delight at the thought of Jack being sent 200 miles away.
Reaching across the desk, he grabbed a document. ‘Technology, eh?’ His smile was luminous, ‘The contract was emailed through a few minutes ago. I’ve been advised to ask that you take it home and read it inside out and upside down. So, here it is, Jack.’
Branagan handed the document to him. ‘Look through it and make notes on anything that catches your attention and that you might want to talk about. Tomorrow Curtis Warren himself is travelling up from London. He wants to have a meeting with you.’
In theory, Curtis Warren, the company’s big boss, had already given his approval of Jack, whose reputation went before him, as an accomplished and trusted employee, having been awarded ‘Employee of the Year’ status, two years running.
Jack was not surprised to be told of the big chief’s arrival. He had worked with the man some years back, and knew how thorough he was. He told Branagan, ‘I’ll have my queries ready for the morning – if there are any.’
‘There are bound to be niggles,’ the other man said. ‘But I’m sure you won’t let a few lines on a page stop you from grabbing the best opportunity you’re ever likely to get.’
Annoyed by the other man’s arrogance, Jack replied coldly, ‘I don’t accept that this is “the best opportunity I’m ever likely to get”, but you can rest assured I’ll read every word and make notes as warranted. I won’t deny, I would like this position. But when all is said and done, I mustn’t be too hasty. I mean, I’d be a fool to jump out of the frying-pan into the fire, don’t you think?’
His mind was already made up, but he didn’t want to give the other man the idea that it was all a done deal. He wanted him to sweat on it until the morning. He wanted him to believe that he could take the job or leave it – that he wasn’t all that bothered either way.
A few moments later Jack left the building, the contract secure in his grasp, while Branagan remained, pacing his office in a fret, saying, ‘Arrogant bastard! One way or another, I’ll be rid of you, Jack Redmond! You see if I don’t!’
He had no way of knowing that Jack was as determined to sign the contract as he was determined to be rid of him.
That evening, when Jack dropped the bombshell of his plans to move north, Molly was quick to show her disapproval. ‘If you do this, you do it on your own!’ she raged. ‘I want no part in it.’
Devastated that he had not thought to discuss such an important matter with her before making his decision, she told him, ‘If you want my opinion – which you obviously don’t – I believe you’re making a big mistake. But it doesn’t matter to you what I think, does it? I thought we were a couple, that we talked things over together. And what about the session at the clinic? I don’t suppose you even went, did you?’ Her voice shook with anger.
‘Yes, I did go to the clinic. In fact, it was because of what happened there that I know now I have to go back – back to the beginning, where I grew up.’
‘That’s nonsense!’ she burst out. ‘What will you be going back to? You’re not thinking straight, Jack. You’ve been gone from your hometown for too many years. What makes you think there’s anything there that can possibly explain what’s happening to you now? Oh, I get it! That’s why you’ve accepted the manager’s post up there. You tied the two together and came up with an answer to all your troubles. You’ve made what could be the biggest decision of your life, without even bothering to consult me. That tells me I’m not important enough in your life. That’s right, isn’t it, Jack?’
‘No!’ Going across the room to her, he pleaded with her to calm down and listen to what he had to say. ‘Please, Molly. Come and sit down. I’ll tell you what happened at the clinic.’ Taking her by the hand, he led her to the sofa, where he sat her down beside him. ‘Like I said, I did go to the clinic.’
‘And?’
‘And it was a long session. Mr Howard asked me a lot of questions. I told him about the images – how they made me feel . . . everything.’
Molly softened a little. ‘That was good. So, what did he say? Did he have any advice? When is your next appointment? You are going back to see him again, aren’t you?’
Avoiding her questions, Jack went on, ‘After a while, he asked me to close my eyes, and suddenly I was back there . . . in that place – only this time it was more vivid than before. Everything was so powerful, Molly.’ Reliving the ordeal in his mind, he inwardly shivered. ‘I could hardly breathe.’
Before she could start on her questions again, he went on quickly, ‘Afterwards, he said the descriptions I gave were very strong. He said I had done something which he claimed was very significant. When he told me about it, I was shocked.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He said . . . I cried out.’
‘But we already know that.’ Molly had lost count of the times she had been shocked awake by his cries.