Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection

Eventually, she forgave him for what he had done to her. But she could never forgive him for what he had done to the children – Susie in particular. She had been made to grow up before her time.

‘A penny for them?’ Leonard’s voice cut across her thoughts.

‘Oh Leonard, I’m sorry,’ Vicky apologised. ‘I was just thinking.’

‘You were miles away.’ Sliding an arm round her shoulders, he drew her to him. ‘You were thinking of Barney again – I can always tell. But it’s all right, my dear. I understand, I really do.’

Vicky felt ashamed. ‘You’re such a good man,’ she muttered. ‘I don’t deserve you.’

‘No, you don’t,’ he agreed, ‘because you deserve the best – and in your eyes that will always be Barney Davidson. I don’t pretend to match up to him, because I never will, nor would I want to. Yes, I know he caused you all such pain. But it’s never the bad things we remember about the person we love. It’s always the good times – the laughter and the joy.’

Pausing to gather his thoughts, he watched the rowboat go past. He saw some children running along the riverbank trying to keep up, and it made him smile. ‘We do the best we can,’ he said. ‘We strive and struggle, yet sometimes it’s not enough. We must never forget, Barney was very special. A strong, determined man, he was totally devoted to you and the children. You can’t dismiss a man like that – and no one would expect you to, least of all me.’

In the deepest recesses of his mind, he recalled the night he had found Barney huddled by the tree trunk, desperately ill and almost out of his mind. That night, he had made a sacred promise to Barney, and for Vicky’s sake he had kept that promise; though with every passing year, the burden of guilt weighed heavier.

Deeply moved by his quiet words, Vicky reached up to kiss him softly on the mouth. ‘You know me so well,’ she chided. ‘I can never keep a secret from you.’

She needed to tell him something now – something she had never said before. ‘What you say is true, Leonard – I do still love Barney, and I will love him to the day I die. But I love you, too. I love being your wife, and I love the way you took me and the children under your wing. You’re kind and thoughtful, and I’m so glad you were there for us.’ She moved closer to him. ‘Have I been a good wife to you, Leonard?’

He squeezed her tenderly. ‘You know you have.’

‘I always knew you had a fancy for me,’ she chuckled. ‘Barney was the first to notice it, and he would tease me mercilessly. It’s strange how things worked out,’ she mused. ‘Do you think some things are meant to be?’

‘In what way, exactly?’

‘You and me … do you think there really is something called Fate, which channels our lives into a particular direction?’

In answer, he took her by the elbows and stood her up. ‘I’m certain there is,’ he replied. ‘I think it was Fate that made me get rid of that monstrous fiancée of mine; it was Fate that made me fall in love with you, and it was Fate that brought us here to this land of America, where I won your heart … not your soul because that belongs to Barney. But we’re here together, safe and secure. And yes, I do believe we have Fate to thank for that.’

Vicky nodded. ‘Or some almighty hand that guides us to our destiny.’

They resumed their stroll in silence.

After a time it was Vicky who spoke. ‘Leonard?’

‘Yes, my darling?’

‘Will Ronnie ever come home to us?’

Leonard nodded his head. ‘I hope so. He’s already made a start by coming to work on the estate.’

‘I really thought he would go to gaol after that last court hearing. Drunk in the road … cursing and fighting with the officers when they tried to arrest him. In some ways, you would think he was seventeen, not a man of nearly forty. Oh Leonard, I wish now that we had let him fight in the war, even though it would have broken my heart to see him go. It might have got rid of some of his demons.’ Her heart turned over at the thought of it all. ‘He carries such anger inside.’

‘I know. But he does seem to be coping with life better these days. Perhaps he’s turned the corner at long last.’

In his heart, Leonard held out small hope. Ronnie had always clung to his father; all his young life he had modelled himself on Barney, and after they were made to leave him behind, Ronnie never really got over it.

‘To hell with it!’ Sliding out from underneath the tractor, Ronnie threw the wrench across the ground. ‘The damned thing was rotten right through. It’s snapped in half now and I can’t shift it no way!’

Having stood patiently by while Ronnie tried to replace the bolt in the floor of the tractor, Thomas picked up the wrench. ‘Don’t get all worked up,’ he told him sternly. ‘You’re always in too much of a hurry, that’s your trouble.’

‘Huh! Well, that’s rich, I must say. I’ve been working at it for half an hour.’

Getting down to his knees, Thomas peered beneath the tractor. ‘Ten minutes, not half an hour,’ he reminded his brother. ‘You’ve been at it for ten minutes, and in that time you’ve managed to cause chaos. You caught the fuel pipe and almost ripped it off in a panic, and now you’ve chopped the bolt off so there isn’t enough left to grip hold of.’ He gave a weary grin. ‘Do me a favour, will you?’ he asked light-heartedly.

Ronnie groaned. ‘Now what?’

‘While I’m under here, I want you to stay right where you are. Don’t do anything! Don’t try to help, and don’t move, not even an inch. Do you think you could manage that?’

Ronnie had to smile. ‘I reckon so,’ he answered sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, Tom … bad night, worse morning. One o’ them days, eh?’

Thomas crawled under the tractor. ‘I know what you mean,’ he remarked cynically. ‘Since first light this morning you’ve been a right pain, moaning and groaning, dropping this and throwing that. To tell you the truth, I’d rather you stayed away when you’re in one of those moods.’

‘All right, all right! There’s no need to keep on, dammit!’ Kicking the tractor with the flat of his foot, Ronnie cursed under his breath when his foot began to throb. ‘It’s just that, well, these days, I’ve got things on my mind. I can’t seem to concentrate.’ A wry smile lifted the corners of his mouth. ‘Everything I touch seems to go wrong.’

Thomas smiled up at him. ‘You’re a walking disaster,’ he agreed. ‘Now just remember to stay right where you are – at least until I get out from under here. That’s all I’m asking.’

Ronnie nodded. ‘Sure.’

‘Oh, and by the way, what happened to that good-looking woman I saw you with at the park … Norma, wasn’t it?’

Ronnie tutted. ‘Nancy! Her name was Nancy.’

‘OK, so what happened to Nancy?’

‘It wasn’t working out.’

Thomas slid out from under the tractor. ‘What you mean is, she got fed up with your fiery moods and quick temper, and she dumped you. Am I right – is that what happened?’

‘Something like that, yes.’ Ronnie shrugged his shoulders. ‘She went off with some wagon-driver. It doesn’t bother me, though. She wasn’t so perfect either, when it came right down to it. Truth is, I think I’m well out of that one.’

Tapping him on the shoulder with the wrench, Thomas warned his younger brother, ‘One of these days you’ll find somebody you really love. You’ll drive her away with that raging temper of yours and live to regret it.’

‘So what?’ Ronnie gave the tractor another vicious kick. ‘It wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve lived to regret!’ With a parting shot he strode off. ‘Tell Mom I’m staying in town tonight.’

‘Why don’t you stay home, just this once?’ Thomas asked angrily. ‘You know that’s what she wants.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Ronnie turned on him. ‘Well, we don’t always get what we want out of life, do we, eh? I wanted her to stay and work it out with Dad, but she refused. When we got here, I wanted her to go back and try again, but oh no! And when it was too late and we heard that Dad had died, it didn’t take her long to marry Leonard, did it? All women are bitches, in my opinion.’

‘It wasn’t like that, and you know it!’

Grabbing him by the shirt-collar, Thomas reminded him, ‘Leonard has been good to us. If it hadn’t been for him, God only knows where we might have ended up. As for Mom, she was devastated when Dad did what he did … parading himself through the centre of Liverpool with tarts and drunks. And don’t forget how he turned on her when she tried to reason with him! I’ll never know why he changed like he did. But he did, and it hurt. It hurt us, and it hurt her more. Don’t tell me she didn’t try to rebuild the family, because she tried time and again, belittling herself for our sakes, but Dad was so far gone he didn’t want to know! As for her marrying Leonard, what would you have her do, eh? Spend the rest of her life being lonely, brooding over what happened?’

He gave Ronnie a shake. ‘Did you really want her to go back and beg Dad to change his mind? Did you want her to suffer another round of shame and rejection? Is that what you wanted? Is it?’

There were tears in both men’s eyes.

Thomas, too, had been affected by leaving his father in Liverpool, but through it all he saw himself as the man of the family. With Susie and his mother in pieces and Ronnie getting involved with all manner of bad things, it was up to him to reassure the others, when all the time he was feeling heartbroken and bitter. He loved his father. But seeing him turn into a stranger had been devastating. To his dying day he would never understand why it happened the way it did. But it did, and they had to live with it – Ronnie included!