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Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection

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2018
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Lucy laughed. ‘You old flatterer,’ she said. ‘Truly though, Adam, do you think we’ll recognise her?’

‘Don’t know. Can’t say.’

‘Do you think she’ll recognise me?’

‘I think so. Your hair’s a little greyer, you’re slower of foot, and we all know you’re not the young thing you once were, but then none of us is – Vicky included.’

Lucy had to smile. ‘Well, thank you. Is that supposed to make me feel better?’

Adam made no apology. ‘All that aside,’ he said, ‘you’re still so vibrant and your features haven’t changed all that much. You have the same slim figure and those wonderful, smiling eyes. I think she would have to be looking in the opposite direction not to recognise the Lucy Baker we all know and love.’

For the remainder of the journey, Lucy fell silent, with Adam frequently glancing in his rear-view mirror to make sure she was all right.

When at last they arrived at the station, he pulled up as near to the entrance as he could. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

Lucy thanked him. ‘Yes, I’d like that, Adam. But try if you can to keep a discreet distance when the train arrives. I don’t want her to think we’re there in force.’

Adam understood. ‘Trust me,’ he said. ‘You won’t even know I’m around. But if you want me, I’ll be only a heartbeat away.’

Lucy gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. ‘What would I do without you, eh?’ Adam was always there when she needed someone to share her fears and dreams. More and more she had come to rely on him. And today was particularly unnerving, for she was about to meet Vicky again for the first time in many years; Vicky, the beautiful person whom Barney adored above all others, and who had been cruelly robbed of her chance to say goodbye to him. Vicky, who had welcomed young Lucy and her little Jamie into the very heart of her family, and shown them both nothing but kindness.

Adam was still pondering on her remark. ‘What would you do without me, eh?’ he mused aloud. ‘Let me think now.’ Feigning a frown, he told her, ‘You’d have to find a careful new driver for a start. Then there’d be no one to fetch and carry for you, or collect your orders from the shops when you don’t feel like being in a crowd. You’d have no one to boss about or moan and grumble at, and when you feel lonely, there’ll be no one there to hold your hand.’

Lucy laughed. ‘I’ve always got Mary.’

‘Ah, but it’s not the same. Think about it,’ he urged. ‘Here you have a big handsome man ready to answer your every call; a man who’s besotted with you, ready to marry you at the drop of a hat, and on top of all that, he can make the best hot cocoa that’s ever passed your lovely lips.’

‘You’re incorrigible,’ Lucy chided.

‘But you love me, don’t you?’

‘ ’Course I do.’

‘But not enough to marry me?’

‘Behave yourself. Go and park the car, and I’ll get the platform tickets.’

‘Only if you say you’ll think about letting me put a ring on your finger.’

‘Go on with you!’ Dismissing him with a wave of her hand, she walked away, the merest of smiles curving her mouth at the corners. She had long thought he would make a wonderful husband, though it would never do to tell him that.

One day he’ll wear me down, she thought. One fine day, he’ll ask me and I just might say yes.

But she couldn’t see that day in sight for a very long time. Maybe never.

Waiting for Vicky’s train to arrive from London was nerve-racking. Lucy had lost count of the number of times she had walked the entire length of the platform, looking this way, looking that way, shivering in the bitter cold and beginning to despair. ‘Will the blessed train ever arrive?’ she asked Adam. ‘Maybe Vicky’s changed her mind. Maybe she’s decided not to come after all.’

Adam was more concerned about Lucy. ‘Don’t panic. The train isn’t even due to arrive for another half hour,’ he reminded her. ‘Look! I want you to come along to the café and get a hot drink down you. It’s perishing cold out here.’

‘But what if we miss the train arriving? If we’re not here waiting for her, she won’t know what to do.’

‘Listen to yourself,’ he advised. ‘We won’t miss the train arriving, and even if we did, she’s a grown woman, intelligent enough to get a taxi. She has your telephone number and address. So come on now, Lucy.’ He gently cupped the palm of his hand beneath her elbow. ‘Ten minutes, that’s all, to get you warmed up and comfortable. I don’t want you catching pneumonia.’

‘Stop fussing, Adam!’ Shaking him away, Lucy was adamant. ‘I’m perfectly all right. You go if you like, but I’m not moving.’

Adam knew from old that once her mind was made up, there’d be no shifting her. ‘I only wish Mary was here,’ he grumbled. ‘She’d make you go inside, and no mistake.’

Lucy shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t listen to Mary, any more than I’m listening to you,’ she replied haughtily. ‘I’m here to meet an old friend who’s travelled many miles, all the way from America. I will not have her arriving in a strange place, all alone and me not there to greet her.’

All the same, at that moment in time she wished she was any place but here. Vicky had been robbed of precious time with Barney, while she herself had earned a measure of his love, and had even borne him a child. How would Vicky react to that? What would she think? Was she bitter? Did she blame Barney? Did she blame her? Lucy was so frantic, it was all she could do to restrain herself from turning tail and fleeing from the station.

Adam’s voice resonated in her ear. ‘Lucy Baker, will you stop fretting! Lord help me, I love you more with every day that passes. You’re the most caring, considerate, aggravating woman I’ve ever come across.’

‘And you’re beginning to get on my nerves.’

‘Let me bring you a hot drink then, and I’ll not say another word – unless, of course, you want me to?’

‘I don’t want you to. But I’d very much appreciate that hot drink. Honestly, Adam, I can’t imagine why you didn’t think of it before, instead of causing such an almighty fuss about me leaving the platform!’

While Adam went to get the drinks, Lucy’s anxious gaze scanned the far-off track, hoping to see the train as it appeared down the line. ‘What will I say?’ she fretted. ‘How will I greet her? We were close at one time, but it’s been so long, I don’t know how it will all turn out.’

Her nerves were jangling. In her mind she could see the old Vicky, pretty as a picture and lovely in nature. But what was she like now? Had she hardened over the years? Had she turned cold and resentful because of the shocking way her idyllic marriage had come to an end?

And what of the letter that had ended her present marriage? It was Lucy herself who had written it, and now she was beginning to regret it deeply. Maybe Adam was right after all. Maybe she should have let sleeping dogs lie.

Suddenly the shrill tones of the announcer came out of the loudspeaker: ‘The ten forty-five from London St Pancras will be arriving at Platform Two in precisely ten minutes. There are no delays.’

On board the approaching train, a similar announcement was given over the air.

‘Ten minutes!’ Vicky had grown more nervous with every passing mile. With only two other passengers in her compartment, she had found a seat next to the window, and managed to collect her thoughts.

She had never been one for travelling. In all of her life she had only ever made two long journeys; the first had taken her away from everything she had ever known. The second was bringing her back.

At least when she sailed away from Liverpool, she had believed Barney to be alive and well, although it had come as a terrible shock to learn of his death, a mere three years later. Doctor Lucas had relayed the news to Leonard, who in turn gently told her and the children. Yet part of her, a very deep part was not surprised. How could her beloved Barney survive without her love, and without the love of his children? God knew, it had nearly killed her to be without him, and look at the effect on their three children.

She glanced out of the window at the darkening rural landscape. Nothing here was familiar, though the patchwork of fields and the occasional spinney reminded her of the fields up North where she had worked alongside Barney. This area of Bedfordshire should have been meaningless to her, but it was important now, because this was where her husband had spent his last days, with Lucy, and their daughter, Mary.

She was not surprised that Barney had turned to Lucy, for the latter was not only a lovely-natured person, but she had been a close friend of the family, and like all of them, Barney had a soft spot for her. But for Lucy and Barney to become lovers and conceive a child? That would never have crossed her mind in a million years. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Yet for all that, she looked forward to seeing her, and strangely, she also looked forward to meeting Barney’s other daughter. She wondered if Mary had a look of him, and if so, she would have a look of Susie, because Barney’s first daughter was more like him in appearance than any of his other children.

Thinking about her children brought a degree of pain to Vicky. When she needed them most, they had not been ready to forgive.

Unable to deal with it for now, she closed her mind to them and forced herself to remember the days when she was with Barney, happy, carefree days which would never come again. It made her heart sore to think they had gone forever, but gone they were.

Her fretful thoughts were submerged into the rhythm of the train wheels as they hurried along the track … Clackety-clack, marches the army, clackety-clack, I love you Barney. The sound of iron against iron merged with the hiss of steam and somehow it became a song in her heart, and the song created in her a soothing sensation.

Lucy was grateful for the cup of tea in a thick white mug that Adam had brought. ‘Did you water the plants on your way here?’ she quipped, staring into the cup. ‘It’s half-empty.’
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