The Spy

I had always thought that if they moved me they would do it to Washington, or if I had to go abroad, I would go to London or Paris, but to Madrid? I couldn't wait for it! What would I do there?

A decision that only increased my curiosity to know what a mathematician specialized in coding and decoding messages would do in that country.

I tried to work as much as possible, trying my best, but my work at that time was still rejected by my bosses. Not because I failed, not because I didn't do it right, but because they said “We have gone at the right time, and we didn't find anyone!” Or “There are no troops where the message said!”, which puzzled me, and it just increased my pressure.

Spain, what a country! It completely changed my way of seeing life, at the beginning I did not interact with anyone, I rarely left the embassy where I felt comfortable, as I did not know anyone I preferred to stay in reading, but soon they started inviting me to parties, and I couldn’t refuse, I had to attend as part of the staff.

I was not a friend of the parties, and less of that loud music of the Spaniards, those songs and dances, I did not understand them because it seemed all quite confusing. I tried to pay attention to the lyrics, while seeing the showy movements of the dancers and I did not understand the meaning of all that.

Within a few months of being there, they sent me to introduce myself to the command,, an institution of the Spanish army. I didn't know very well why, but it was an order, and you know, you always have to comply those without questioning!

As soon as I got there they arrested me, I didn't understand anything, they stripped me of everything I had and they put me in a cell where I was held for several hours.

You have chosen a bad time to leave your embassy! –A captain told me that he was the first one I talked to.

–What? – I asked a little confused.

– Your country is at war! –That person told me.

"At war? But what are you saying?" – I asked surprised, I thought I

had misunderstood.

And as a military man, you can't be on the street – he kept telling me.

–No, I wasn't on the street, I was coming here …

– Anyway, you are invading our country and that is why you have to remain arrested.

– Invading, me? With what, with my briefcase and my hat?

– I said surprised, I did not understand anything that was happening, I even thought that I was misunderstanding what I was hearing, something that I did not want to believe, because my knowledge of the language I had already tested it many times.

–Less jokes ! Everyone here is suspicious until proven otherwise, you are awaiting a war council!

–But, what are you talking about? – They told me to appear in command.

– Did they tell you? Who told you? – He asked very seriously.

– Well, I received orders from Washington.

– Let's see, show me! – He demanded impatiently.

– I do not have them with me, I only fulfilled what they told me to, I was never told I have to present any document.

– Yes, they all say that! They say they don't know what they are doing, that they carry out orders. You are not the first spy we have behind bars.

–Spy? – I asked surprised, he had called me a spy, I couldn’t believe it, it really was a confusion.

–Of course ! Or do you think we have locked you up to admire our facilities from the inside ? Until our government decides what to do with you, you will remain locked, and pray for your government to be willing to cooperate, because if thy don't…

–What if they don't ? – I asked scared, seeing that this man was serious, and that he planned to leave me there.

– Others before you, have been in this same room and with those same bars, and not all have returned to their country, many have served as bargaining chip, but the rest …

I remember that I was very scared at the time, but speaking of money, where have I left mine? I have to go out for bread and I don't know where I left the cash, it doesn't have to be far, maybe in the kitchen, because bread goes in the kitchen.

After checking everywhere, rearranging everything I had and opening all the drawers I said to myself: "It must be on the dining room table, because bread is for eating."

I went there and looked again without success, a little frustrated by the situation I thought, "Well, it wasn't important" and I sat in my armchair, next to a large window where I could see a small garden.

I don't know how many times I had run out of food because I didn't remember where I had left the money, even though I had it written down in my notebook, the one I carried everywhere, only that sometimes, I forgot to look at it as well.

This memory, seems that it only worsens, how can this happened to me? I was always told that I had photographic memory ! Just one look at the message and I was able to retain it to mentally translate it before any computer, and after years and years of secret work, I had managed to repeat each written report, to put together a personal file.

My memory … if I have been able to show off something in my life, it's of having a good memory. Cultivated every day with many hours of study and reading, because although it may not seem like it, languages need to be practiced continuously to keep them fresh.

How many hours have I spent studying each of the languages I know, or well, did I know, or who knows if I still know them.

That is something that surprisingly I think I have not lost, the ability to understand other languages, on television sometimes I put one of those international channels, and I understand it without problems … it's like what they say about riding a bicycle, “Once learned, never forgotten, regardless how many years that you go without practicing”.

Something that has helped me a lot to progress in my career and arrive, strangely, to know more secrets than many presidents, since they only wanted results, and we were a few who knew what to do in each case.

My task as a mathematician had changed over time, and I went from translating messages from others to creating complex models to encrypt my own. It was no longer about coding one or two words for the field agents, security should be maximum for all government documents, and they asked us that if there were leaks, the stolen documents couldn’t be read by our enemies.

And from there, without expecting it they moved me to intelligence, well, until now I was working for one of their sections, but then it was knowing all the secrets.

Everything that the government denies or is silent, I was the first to know, and codify it.

There was a system within the system, an exclusive coding for ultra-secret documents and messages, as colleagues liked to say.

These, in no way were to be deciphered, so the work was sometimes strenuous, and the demand even greater.

It was no longer about knowing where the positions of the enemies were, their advances, and even their field agents, now they knew each of the tactical and intimate details of the relevant people of the enemy regime, their family, their lovers… A huge amount of information classified as vital and that should not be available to any other than the authorized person.

That seemed to me nothing more than a curiosity, something like those magazines that only serve to pry into the lives of others, but little by little I became interested, not so much for people and their relationships, but for certain issues that were hid from the public voice.

But yes, I was very clear that I never, never should say anything, since my life was at stake.

It never occurred to me to comment on any of those papers, despite their seriousness, and then I saw on television such absurd news about it, a chemical accident, a fire started without apparent cause, a plane that fell inexplicably.

I do not know how people can be so calm seeing these absurd justifications, if they stopped to think they would realize that that, more than news, is misinformation nationwide.

So many implausible stories to cover some government operation or a frustrated attack, and nobody stopped to think how strange that sounded.

Maybe everyone would rather look the other way, and not ask anything, feeling safe like this, sometimes I have heard that "naive people are the happiest" to refer to when you ignore what is happening around you, that gives you a False feeling of happiness.

Hundreds and hundreds of interventions on American soil with the same result, “Neutralized Agent”.