The Widow's Little Secret

Mattie paused, listening. She heard nothing. Maybe Jared wasn’t here. He could be out walking rounds.

She ventured farther down the hallway, wanting to make certain. Mattie wanted to talk to him tonight, get this issue settled once and for all.

A shadow crossed her path and Jared leaped in front of her. Startled, she froze.

Good gracious, his chest was bare.

Which was an odd thing to notice, she realized a second later, given that he had a Colt .45 pointed at her head.

“What the hell are you doing, sneaking in here?” Jared demanded. “I nearly shot you.”

Mattie pointed lamely down the hall. “You shouldn’t have left your door unlocked. How thoughtless.”

Jared grumbled and lowered his pistol. “Nobody breaks into a jail, Mattie.”

“Oh.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked, frowning. Mattie twisted her fingers together, unsure where to start. Of course, it would be much easier to think if he weren’t standing only a foot away with no shirt on.

Dark, crinkly hair covered his chest and arrowed down his muscled stomach, disappearing into his trousers. His arms bulged as he shifted his wide shoulders.

The sleeves of his long johns and his suspenders hung at his sides; the top button of his trousers was unfastened.

“Change your mind about getting married?” he asked.

The question shocked her back to reality. “No, of course not. I need to talk to you.”

Jared stepped into the room and turned a cane bottom chair toward her. “Sit down,” he said.

A tingle swept up her spine. This was his bedroom. She couldn’t waltz inside and sit down. It wasn’t decent.

“You’ve been on your feet all evening. Sit down.” When she still hesitated, Jared gestured toward the bunk in the corner. “Unless you’d rather hop into bed?”

Mattie jerked her chin at him and plopped into the chair. He shoved the pistol into the holster that dangled from a row of pegs on the wall. His shirt hung beside it. He’d probably been getting ready for bed when she walked in. Her gaze bounced to the tidy bunk, then to Jared. He was already watching her. Mattie’s cheeks burned. She busied herself straightening her skirt, refusing to look at him again.

“How are you feeling?” Jared asked.

“Fine.”

He stopped in the center of the floor and sighed heavily. “How are you really feeling?”

She wasn’t sure if the frown on his face meant he was angry or genuinely concerned. “Tired. A little tired.”

“Did you eat a proper supper?”

She huffed. “That’s really none of your concern.”

His chest swelled and his frown deepened. “Did you eat a proper supper?”

“Yes,” she told him. No sense in annoying him further, given the reason she was here tonight.

Jared nodded, apparently satisfied, then shoved his arms into his long johns and pulled them over his shoulders.

“What do you need to talk about?” he asked.

How odd, sitting in a chair in Jared’s bedroom, watching him dress. Mattie couldn’t recall any such moment with her husband.

Obviously, Jared thought nothing of her being there. He buttoned his long johns and slipped on his shirt, completely comfortable with her presence.

His long fingers fastened the shirt, then dipped into his trousers, tucking the tail inside. Mattie sat mesmerized by the simple action, the intimate details he shared so casually.

“Mattie?”

“Oh.” She shifted on the chair. “I have to know if you’ll keep my secret.”

“You mean about the baby really being mine?”

“You can’t be serious about telling everyone the truth. Can you imagine the scandal?”

“You’d rather live a lie than be gossiped about?”

Mattie rose from the chair. “I don’t care so much for myself. I’m worried about the baby. This will throw a shadow over his whole life.”

“His whole life? You think it’s a boy?” His gaze dipped to her belly.

She touched her hand to her stomach. “I don’t know.”

“I want a girl,” Jared said, pulling up his suspenders. “It’ll be a girl.”

“All the more reason not to jeopardize her future,” Mattie said. “Surely you can see that.”

Jared shrugged into his vest and fastened his gun belt on his hips. “I’m more concerned that she’ll turn out as stubborn as her mama.”

Mattie sighed heavily. “Jared, please—”

“You need to get home,” he said, and put on his hat.

She pulled away when he reached for her arm. “Not until you give me your answer. I have to know this is settled. Surely you can understand that.”

He leaned down, just a little, just enough to make her draw back. “And surely you can understand that, for a man, agreeing to give up his child isn’t a decision to be made lightly.”

The depth of his gaze held her captive for a moment, and in that moment she saw something unreadable in Jared. Something deep. Something old and timeworn. It touched her, frightened her a little.

“I can walk home myself,” she said to him. He sighed irritably. “I’m walking you home, Mattie, and that’s that.”

Jared strode out of the room, leaving her no choice but to follow.

A ray of morning sunlight streaming through the window bored into Jared’s eyes, waking him. He sat up, groggy, looked around and finally remembered where he was after his first night in his new room.