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The Whitney Chronicles

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Год написания книги
2019
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A push-up bra

A body shaper

Full cut panties large enough to cover those supreme pizzas you eat alone on weekends

(No contest there.)

What is your favorite store?

Victoria’s Secret

Ann Taylor

GAP

Banana Republic

Relax the Back

The Hemorrhoid Shop

(I have to choose just one when all six are so appealing?)

What is your favorite dog?

A neurotic dog that weighs less than five pounds, wears bows in its fur, eats only off your plate and can pierce eardrums with its bark

A black Lab, the son of the son of the son of your beloved childhood pet

A glistening Doberman that salivates at the sight of cats, rabbits and short men

(Hmmmm…)

What is your favorite food?

Yogurt pops

Sugar-free breath mints

Endive

A favorite? How can anyone pick just one?

(What, no éclairs?)

What is your favorite novel?

The latest Chick Lit on the racks

Teach Yourself Pilates

The History of Elizabeth I: Look Ma, No Man!

(I see they forgot “How to Cook Nutritiously for One.”)

What is your favorite flower?

Roses—by the dozen

Bird-of-Paradise

Violets—in those cute little plastic-lined baskets like Grandma used to have

(Violets. Definitely violets. Ha!)

What do you think about cats?

Sneaky snakes with feet and fur

Actually tiny women in little fur coats

You simply can’t have too many

(I like the little-women theory. It explains a lot.)

What’s your most useful kitchen tip?

Too many ice cubes make a smoothie watery

Don’t use regular dish soap in lieu of dishwasher detergent

Alphabetizing spices makes cooking so much more pleasant

(I’ve experienced the first two. Hope never to know the truth about the third.)

What is your attitude toward computers?

How did my parents and grandparents live without them?

I buy everything from groceries to clothing online

Highly overrated

(Finally, a question I could answer with complete honesty! I love my computer.)

What is your favorite pastime?

Spending a day at the beach

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