Diversify: A fierce, accessible, empowering guide to why a more open society means a more successful one

Yes/No

16. Imagine you are a businessperson about to negotiate a deal with a company: would you rather deal with a businessman or a businesswoman in your negotiations? If you have a preference, why?

Businessman/Businesswoman

Reason:

17. Would you want to make friends with someone with different political beliefs to you? If not, why not?

Yes/No

Reason:

18. Can you remember any moments in life that changed your worldview? Were you influenced by someone ‘other’ from outside your social circle?

Yes/No

Details:

19. Imagine you meet a friend’s 3-year-old daughter for the first time: would you compliment her for wearing something pretty? Is there something better to say?

Yes/No

Details:

20. Have you ever made a judgement about someone based on their appearance and been really wrong?

Yes/No

Additional questions can also be found at our website: www.Diversify.org (http://www.Diversify.org)

PART TWO (#ulink_92081c03-1f7d-50a9-88fe-59e101351a8e)

THE OTHER WOMAN (#ulink_92081c03-1f7d-50a9-88fe-59e101351a8e)

‘Stereotype of females begins when the doctor says: ‘It’s a girl’.’

Shirley Chrisholm

The Old Way (#ulink_c3753f17-b1c9-5205-8d72-79fedb4b941a)

In 1969, Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm delivered a powerfully emotive speech to the House of Representatives demanding ‘Equal Rights for Women’. She remarked:

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: ‘It’s a girl.’ At present, our country needs women’s idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.

Heeding her own advice, three years later Chisholm would become the first woman to run for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination, and the first African-American to run as a major party’s nomination for President of the United States.

It was 1972 and, alas, America was not yet ready for a woman, let alone a black woman as bold as she; her presidential bid was ridiculed, laughed at, and met with cynicism and disdain by most of the elite. But even so, Chisholm still managed to secure 151 delegates in the Democratic primaries. As a prominent member of both the civil rights and women’s movements, her courage and belief in the possibility of change helped pave the way for a Barack Obama and a Hillary Rodham Clinton. She most certainly lived up to her gutsy tagline of ‘Unbought and Unbossed’ – she famously espoused that ‘if they don’t give you a seat at the table then bring a folding chair’ – but Chisholm was the exception and, unfortunately, her remarks are still as relevant today as they were in 1969. Because it’s true that when a child is born and the doctor says, ‘It’s a girl’, that tiny, innocent miracle already has the odds stacked against her and will have to play on a field that most certainly isn’t level.

Women are the largest oppressed group in the world, and the degrees of subjugation vary from country to country, with women in the West faring much better than their counterparts in developing parts of the world. In their 2008 Pulitzer Prize-winning book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, Nicholas Kristof and his wife, Sheryl WuDunn, argue that: ‘In the nineteenth century, the central moral challenge was slavery. In the twentieth century, it was the battle against totalitarianism. We believe that in this century the paramount moral challenge will be the struggle for gender equality around the world.’ A struggle it may be, but it’s one that will be 100 per cent worth it, given the rewards that are to be won. So, in this section, I will challenge the idea of women as ‘other’, and argue that the results – personal, cultural, and economic – of diversifying gender will be spectacularly beneficial, for women, for men, and for society as a whole.

CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_9f138a34-0975-5f74-8dc8-617d0f524a87)

In the Boardroom (#ulink_9f138a34-0975-5f74-8dc8-617d0f524a87)

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.’

Marianne Williamson

On 29 May 1851, a heckler disrupted the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention, leaving the room stunned with a speech that would go down in history as one of the most iconic feminist speeches of all time.

The heckler was Sojourner Truth. Born a slave 54 years earlier, she was the complete antithesis of the aristocratic women who had gathered there to discuss female emancipation. Her ‘Ain’t I a woman?’ speech was unapologetic, courageous, and humorous, and it brought the audience to their feet with rapturous applause. Sojourner Truth’s powerful words of female empowerment were a clarion call then as they still are now:

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne 13 children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what’s this they call it? [A member of the audience whispers ‘intellect’.] That’s it, honey. What’s that got to do with women’s rights or negroes’ rights? If my cup won’t hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn’t you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can’t have as much rights as men, ’cause Christ wasn’t a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Those final words are still being quoted centuries later. Sojourner Truth’s breathtaking performance at the convention would thrust her into the limelight and turn her into an icon for both gender and racial equality. A year later, she would meet Harriet Beecher Stowe – one of the celebrated abolitionists and feminists of the day – and these two great women would discuss women’s rights. In 1863, Beecher Stowe wrote an article in the Atlantic Weekly about their encounter, entitled ‘Sojourner Truth – the Libyan Sibyl’. She quoted Truth as saying: ‘If women want any rights more than they’s got, why don’t they just take them, and not be talking about it.’ If only it were that simple.

Imposter syndrome

The truth is, the gender confidence gap is real. For centuries, women have been told that they are not good enough to receive an education, not good enough to be able to vote, not good enough to have the same jobs, power, and pay as men. They have been told this so often that deep down they have learned to believe it, even though their conscious mind knows it isn’t true. So sometimes we women are our own worst barrier to change due to our learned self-criticism, our internalized misogyny, which cements our status as the ‘other’ woman – someone who never feels quite at home with success. As a starting point, we must learn to confront this self-criticism in order to embrace a diverse society.

Introducing Agyness

Truth’s courageous attitude in relation to equality is way ahead of many twenty-first-century women, even though we have far more opportunities than she could ever have dreamed of. So many of us still suffer from ‘Imposter Syndrome’, perfectly described by Sheryl Sandberg in her 2013 book, Lean In:

Many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can’t seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are – impostors with limited skills or abilities.

This form of female professional insecurity is something I thoroughly relate to. I spend hours on the phone with one of my dear friends, dissecting the multiple layers of this syndrome, which can manifest in a range of ways – from simple self-deprecation to all-out self-sabotage.

We decided the best way to tackle our Imposter Syndrome was to name and shame it, sort of like Beyoncé–Sasha Fierce in reverse. The only name suitable for such a destructive foe? Agyness (with no offence to any Agynesses out there). And the funny thing with Agyness is that she is unpredictable; you have no idea when she is going to rear her pernicious head. And, when she does, she can wreak havoc.

70%: the percentage of girls who believe that they are ‘not good enough’ in some way (including looks, education, and relationships).

4%: the percentage of CEO positions held by women across Fortune 500 companies.

I remember, a while back, Agyness had tricked me into believing she was finally gone for good. I had been overdosing on ‘you can do it’ books and thought I was permanently rid of her. While riding this Agyness-free wave, I was invited by Bill Clinton’s team to present at his annual Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) opening gala. The line-up included Matt Damon, Eva Longoria, Angélique Kidjo, Carlos Slim, and many more luminaries from the worlds of business, public life, entertainment, and philanthropy. I was brimming with excitement, and felt no nerves as I casually made small talk backstage with former president Clinton, then San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, and the actress Rosario Dawson. I felt a million dollars as I waltzed onto the stage in a black-beaded evening gown to introduce Seal, who was performing that evening. Perhaps, I thought, I was finally worthy enough to rendezvous in these revered circles … Wrong!

The next day, during the CGI preliminary session, Agyness returned with a bang. President Obama was delivering a speech on women and gender equality, so the room was packed full. Even so, somehow among the 600 or so people, I managed to sit next to Jochen Zeitz, former CEO of Sport & Lifestyle for the Kering Group (owners of luxury fashion brands such as Gucci, Puma, and Alexander McQueen). Jochen has been a real pioneer in ethical fashion and is the co-founder of The B-Team with Sir Richard Branson – an organization that is committed to business fairness. So, needless to say, I’m a huge fan of his work. For months I’d been trying to secure him as a speaker at a conference I was organizing and was having difficulty finding the best route to reach him – and here it had been handed to me on a plate.

As I opened my mouth to introduce myself, Agyness took over and I froze. I couldn’t speak, my palms began to sweat, and I was overcome with insecurity and self-doubt. Agyness was on a roll, bombarding me with numerous reasons as to why I shouldn’t ask him to speak at our next event. An hour passed, he even smiled a few times, but I averted my eyes and looked to the floor. Eventually he and his team left.

I was furious with myself for not having seized the opportunity that was right in front of me. I got up to leave and bumped into an old work colleague in the seminar foyer. As my colleague and I chatted, Jochen and his team walked past and stopped yards away from where we were standing. They say there are no second chances in life, but here I was, being given one just moments after I had blown the first. This was my opportunity to take the reins from Agyness and redeem myself to myself. But, unfortunately, Agyness overpowered me and I froze again as Jochen and his team left the building.