Heat of the Moment

Shane shook his head. “It’s okay, Dad. You don’t need to do that.”

His father blew out a frustrated breath. “Goddammit, son, when are you going to let me do something for you? Like I said, the lake is on my way home and at least the drive would give us a chance to catch up.”

Sure, Shane thought bitterly. Four hours in a car with his father, reminiscing about his crappy childhood. The combat he’d seen in Iraq had been nothing compared to the battles that had raged between his parents. He sighed in resignation.

“Sure. Fine.” Whatever.

Mitch looked sympathetic. Shane cleared his throat. “How, um, is Holly, really?”

Mitch hesitated, as if weighing his words. “She’ll be okay. She’s more concerned about you than she is about herself.”

Shane felt his gut twist. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Whatever happened out there wasn’t your fault.” He raked a hand over his cropped hair. “Look, I should get going. You remember where the key to the lake house is kept, right?”

“Yeah.”

“If I know my mother, the pantry should be pretty well-stocked with dry goods, but call Pete Larson if you need anything,” Mitch advised. “As far as the house goes, my mother has a cleaning service come in every couple of weeks to air the place out and run the water, so you should be all set.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Okay, then.” Mitch paused, studying the hat he held in his hands. “About Holly…I know you’re probably blaming yourself, but don’t.”

Shane snorted. “Why not? The incident report said I abandoned my post without due cause. If I hadn’t left my position, then I wouldn’t have been shot. And if I hadn’t been shot, then Holly wouldn’t have put herself in danger by running out to rescue me. She would have stayed by the trucks and been safe.” He gave Mitch a challenging look. “So you see, it is my fault.”

Mitch looked unconvinced. “The doctors said you have a form of amnesia…that you have no recollection of what actually happened that day, so I’m sure there was a good reason why you left your gun. You’re not the type of soldier who would just abandon your position.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you. And I know you’re not the kind of guy who gets caught up in the heat of the moment and does something stupid.”

Shane glanced sharply at his friend, but Mitch’s expression was sincere. He really believed what he’d just said. But what he didn’t know, what Shane wasn’t about to tell him, was that Holly Durant was the one person who could make him lose his head.

Again and again and again.

3

HOLLY HADN’T BEEN OUT to the lake house in years, not since she’d graduated from the Naval Academy. That night had been both the best and worst of her entire life. The best, because she’d finally known what it was like to be loved by Shane Rafferty, and the worst because…well, because she’d known that she would never experience anything like it ever again.

Now, driving along the densely wooded road that led to her parents’ summer place, she wasn’t prepared for how those memories made her chest ache and her throat tighten.

“Hey, you okay?”

Holly turned toward her childhood friend, Susan, and gave her a bright smile. “Yes. Absolutely. It’s just that I haven’t been back here in so long…”

“Mmm-hmm,” her friend murmured knowingly.

Holly narrowed her eyes at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Susan looked away from the road long enough to give Holly a tolerant look. “I was there that night, remember? And the next morning, after he left. I know what he did to you.”

Oh no, she didn’t. The things that Shane Rafferty had done to her that night still caused Holly’s toes to curl in recalled pleasure.

She dragged her gaze away from Susan’s and looked out the window at the passing trees. “Don’t put all the blame on him. I was shameless in the way I chased after him, and it’s not like he ever made any promises to me.” She gave a huff of laughter. “Just the opposite, actually. He made it pretty clear that he wasn’t interested in anything more than sex.”

“But you were hoping…”

Yes, she had hoped. For the next three years, she’d hoped. She still hoped that his feelings ran deeper than he let on. The fact that he had abandoned his position during the fire fight to try and rescue her gave her some optimism, although knowing Shane the way she did, he probably would have done the same for anyone.

She shrugged in response to Susan’s question, hoping her friend didn’t see through her bravado. Let her believe that she no longer held a torch for Shane Rafferty. She’d managed to fool everyone, except herself.

“It was a one-time thing. A mistake, actually. I’m no longer interested in Shane and he’s definitely not interested in me.” Seeing her friend’s dubious expression, she plunged on, as if by getting the words out fast enough, she might believe they were true. “Even when we were on the same base in Iraq, we didn’t run into each other very much and when we did, it was just sort of awkward. We don’t even have anything in common.”

“So you didn’t get to see him afterwards…at the hospital?”

Holly shook her head. “Not really. We went to his room before I was released, but he was still unconscious. The doctors had him in a drug-induced coma because of his head injury. They told me that even if he’d been awake, he would have been on some heavy pain meds and probably wouldn’t have recognized me.” She shivered in memory. “He had so many stitches where they’d removed shrapnel, and was on a breathing tube. There didn’t seem much point in hanging around, and my parents were anxious to get me home.”

“Poor guy. But you said he was finally released, right?”

“Yes. My father insisted on receiving a report on his progress every day. He went home a couple of days ago.”

“To Chatham?” Susan sounded surprised.

“I think so. Or maybe he went back to Camp LeJeune.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Maybe we should have stopped by the drugstore on our way out of town,” mused Susan, “We could have paid him a visit. It would have been nice to have him acknowledge that you saved his life. Nothing wrong with a little groveling.”

“He doesn’t need to do that,” Holly replied, aghast, although she did find the thought of Shane Rafferty groveling a little bit intriguing. “Besides, he was shot trying to protect me. If I hadn’t insisted on driving in that convoy…”

“Listen,” Susan interrupted, “you can play the blame game all you want, but the bottom line is that you’re both okay. Thank God.”

Holly was silent, replaying those horrific moments in Iraq when she’d believed Shane was dead. She never wanted to experience anything close to that ever again. She drew in a shuddering breath.

“Hey.” Reaching over, Susan covered Holly’s hand with her own. “You are okay, right?”

Holly nodded. “I’m fine.”

She wasn’t ready to confide in Susan about the phone call she’d received from the Naval hospital. Her doctor had confirmed what she had already suspected—the bullet that had shattered her upper arm had done permanent nerve damage. She might never regain full use of the limb.

The gnawing pain that had kept her awake those first two weeks had subsided to a dull ache. She’d stopped taking the pills that the doctors had prescribed because she didn’t like how they made her feel woozy and disoriented. The incision where the surgeons had inserted a metal plate and screws into the upper arm bone had mostly healed, although her arm would always have a nasty scar from the bullet itself.

But what bothered her most was the annoying numbness across the back of her hand and through her fingers, and how she couldn’t seem to get a good grip on anything. The doctors had run more tests, and had called her that morning with the results. The news had come as a devastating blow to Holly. Without full use of her arm, she would likely have to leave the military. Even if the top brass decided she could stay, she’d probably be placed in a desk job, overseeing administrative minutia. Her days of going on deployments were over, since she could no longer handle a weapon. In fact, she could barely handle a camera.

Her beloved camera had been lost in the explosion that had destroyed her supply truck, and her father had presented her with a brand-new one just days after she had arrived home. Holly knew the camera was the best that money could buy, but she still grieved for the one she’d lost; the one she’d had since she was a teenager. That camera had been as familiar to her as her own hand. She sighed. It seemed that nothing would ever be the same as it had been.

“So how are your parents going to react when they learn you’ve left?” Susan interrupted her thoughts.

Holly sighed deeply. Her parents had been playing golf with friends when Holly had made her getaway. They wouldn’t be back for hours yet, but Holly didn’t expect them to come after her. They would respect her need for privacy.