His To Protect

And now she risked seeing him again when she retrieved the bag she’d left on his helicopter. If only she’d taken a moment to remember her things rather than dashing away the second they landed, desperate to avoid Mark.

At her frustrated breath, Raeanne raised her eyebrows. “Now you definitely don’t sound sincere. Spill it, girl. You’re allowed to complain on your first day. After that, I’ll only pretend to listen.”

Cassie’s mood lifted and she smiled, or tried to. Her lips felt too tired to move. “I’m no whiner.”

The curtains parted and a couple of nurses hustled inside. “I need coffee. Stat,” rasped one of them, a woman with thick dark hair done up in a topknot. She yanked off her stained uniform top and grabbed another from the shelf.

“Me, too.” Her companion popped in a piece of gum before grabbing an armload of fresh linens. “When is our relief coming on?”

“Two hours,” Raeanne put in. “A minute over that, we strike.”

She stared at the chortling group before laughing, too, marveling at the nurses’ capacity for humor in the face of grueling work. It was a coping mechanism for sure, and a way to bond. Never before had she felt such camaraderie. She liked it.

Was this what had appealed to Jeff? Tempted him to work such a risky job? She’d always thought he was crazy. Had wished he’d stop giving their anxiety-prone mother reasons to fret. But now she saw it. A glimmer, maybe, of what had motivated him to leave their hometown.

Why he’d urged her to do the same.

“So, who knows something about our hot pilot?” one of the nurses asked. The strong smell of antiseptic soap stung Cassie’s nose as the bubbly brunette lathered suds across her palms and beneath her fingernails.

She pulled in 0.5 ml of Dtap and capped her needle with shaking hands.

“He lost one of his crew members,” Raeanne supplied. Large bubbles glugged from the water dispenser as she pulled its blue lever. “Really broke him up. He was grounded, too. Had to get clearance to fly again. My cousin, Rob, the copilot, said this is the first disaster relief mission LCDR Sampson’s flown since then. They’re all a little worried for him.”

The other RN ripped a couple of paper towels from the dispenser and turned. She arched a brow. “I’ll comfort him.”

“Why are four of my nurses not treating patients?” snapped the chief nurse, breaking up the tableau by thrusting through the curtain, her mouth pressed in a firm line.

“Sorry, Nurse Little,” gasped the brunette.

“Just getting medication.” Raeanne shook one of her cups, making the pills rattle.

“And gossiping,” asserted Nurse Little. “One, we don’t spread rumors.” She ticked her fingers. “Two, we don’t waste precious time doing so when there are patients to treat. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” whispered the cowed young women as they scurried back into the main part of the tent.

Cassie, however, didn’t trust her trembling legs to move so she held on to the plastic shelving, hoping the spinning world would stop soon.

Mark had been grounded?

This was his first disaster mission since Jeff’s disappearance?

She pictured his dark expression last night when they’d met. Recalled his assurance that he wasn’t the best company. Had his concern for this trip been the reason?

Yet it didn’t match the image she’d formed of the pilot who’d abandoned Jeff. The overconfident, callous man who cared only about following procedures, not saving lives.

The rumors had to be wrong.

“Cassie, you look pale.”

She shook her head, so many thoughts buzzing in her brain she couldn’t speak one out loud.

“Yes, you are. And tired.” A firm hand pressed against her brow and Nurse Little’s eyes bored into hers. “This is your first mission, correct?”

She nodded. Beyond the curtains someone shrieked, a long, agonizing sound that trailed off ominously.

“And you’ve been working...”

“Since we arrived, ma’am,” she murmured, dredging her voice from its hiding spot, somewhere down deep in her throat. She wasn’t about to mention that she hadn’t slept the night before, too busy tangling limbs with the helicopter pilot responsible for her brother’s death.

“Right.” Nurse Little took the tetanus needle from Cassie’s hand. “I’m relieving you tonight. Give me a report on your patients, then shower and bed. I’ll need you back at 0600 hours. That’s an order.”

“But Melinda...” protested Cassie. And it was her turn for a new admit. The screaming patient...that had to be hers. She was needed. Couldn’t quit now.

“I’ll give her the shot. Tetanus?”

“Yes. But really, I can...”

Nurse Little arched an eyebrow. “I believe I’m perfectly capable of giving a shot. And a directive. Is there some other issue I’m unaware of?”

Cassie hung her head. “I left my duffel on the helicopter. I don’t have anything to change into.”

Nurse Little pointed at a bag in the corner. “You can borrow a clean T-shirt and shorts from me. Anything else?”

Cassie backed up. “No, ma’am.”

Her supervisor’s face softened. “Get some rest, dear. Lord knows we’ll need a fresh pair of hands in the morning.”

“Thank you.” After reporting out to her superior, she grabbed the clothes and headed through the back entrance to the hastily built women’s showers—basically a couple of stalls with sheets for curtains and a self-pumping water unit.

Despite the crude setup, she sighed when she stripped off her limp uniform and lathered her hair, washing the grime away, wishing the devastating losses she’d witnessed today were as easy to erase. None of the wounds she’d treated had come close to soothing the hurts of these people who’d been separated from homes and loved ones.

She pictured the desperate locals who’d searched the patient board, looking for their family members, leaving hollow eyed and empty-handed. How she ached for them. She knew what loss felt like. The crushing pressure that seemed to bury your heart alive, made taking a full breath impossible, your mind spinning in hopeless circles, trying and failing to understand that a part of you was gone forever. That your life would never be the same, would never be whole.

Water pulsed against her hair as she scraped her nails over her scalp, massaging in the shampoo. Pushing back the rising darkness, Cassie drew on a memory of the most rewarding part of the day—reuniting a girl with a stuffed dog that had been a dumb-luck find. Cassie had spotted it during her lunch break when she’d helped pull one of the stretchers off an emergency vehicle.

How elated she’d felt to see the girl’s tears dry and a small smile emerge. The ultimate rewards weren’t always big successes, but sometimes the quiet, small victories.

She turned beneath the water and held out the length of her hair. Shampoo streamed to the drain and swirled, rising in bubbles before disappearing. Washcloth in hand, she rubbed a bar of brown soap then slid the cleanser over her body, the stringent smell stinging her nose. Despite the devastation caused by the storm, or perhaps because of it, Cassie had most often witnessed love today. Dedicated spouses, partners and family members, waiting for hours outside the station, patiently holding vigil until their loved one was out of danger.

Love...

She’d never been in love before. Commuting to her local college, then moving into the apartment above her parents’ garage, meant she hadn’t gotten out much. Dated. Definitely no mind-blowing one-night stands like last night.

Heat flared at the juncture of her thighs as she skimmed the wash cloth there, her flesh deliciously sore after the long, passionate night.

If Mark was anyone else, she would have said it was the greatest sex of her life. When was the last time she’d felt so giddy and uninhibited? So powerful?

Only it’d been a lie. A cruel cosmic joke that made her want to scream, not laugh. Mark was her enemy.