Anything for Her Marriage

“Now there’s a laugh.” She swiped at her nose with her hand. “You’re looking at someone who lived her childhood in a perpetually awkward stage. I was too skinny, too short, my hair was hopeless, and my teeth were in braces longer than any other kid I knew. There’s a video of me taken at my brother’s sixteenth birthday. I was twelve, and for some reason insisted on wearing this light green dress. I looked like a praying mantis in a fright wig. A male praying mantis, no less.”

His low chuckle made her shiver. “Trust me. I do not think of insects when I look at you. And unless your ex-husband embellished, the woman in that portrait has nothing to feel inferior about.”

That stopped her. “Really?” she said, realizing at that moment just how much she craved approval, real approval. Part of her was ticked as hell that she did want it, but the other part really didn’t give a damn anymore.

Again, she saw a qualm or two skip across his features, the indecision in his eyes. “Really,” he said, stepping closer. “Nancy, you’re lovely.” His fingertips grazed her temple as his eyes traveled slowly, luxuriously, over her features. “No, you’re not typical,” he said with a smile, which got a weak laugh, “but that’s why I can’t take my eyes off you. Not that I’d dream of embarrassing you by cataloguing your attributes…”

“No, no, please. I’ll take the risk.”

He chuckled, the sound warm and lovely and, in a way, loving. “Okay. You’ve got amazing eyes, first of all, the way they’re deep set like that, the way your brows and cheekbones set them off.” He knuckled her chin. “Great jawline, fantastic chin, a nose the gods would envy.”

She had to laugh. “Yeah, well, considering how much it cost, a little deity-envy is the least it should get. Go on.”

“We’ve already covered your mouth…” His eyes dropped to that particular feature, and she thought how much she’d like him to cover it once more. With his. Then his attention shifted again, this time to her hair. “And this—” he fingered one strand “—is magnificent.”

“You sure you don’t mean ‘wild’?”

“Wild is good,” he said, and smiled for her.

And suddenly she saw it. Her reflection in his eyes. Not of her face, but her need, glittering like molten gold. Still, from what little she knew of Rod, this wasn’t someone prone to acting on impulse, of giving in to something, just because. Sure he’d kissed her—and damn well, too—but he’d also made it pretty clear he was only expecting coffee. If she was smart, she’d take the hint.

If she was determined, she’d take advantage.

“You do want me, don’t you?”

He laughed, a little. “I guess…yeah.”

“You…guess?” Teasing.

After a heart-stopping moment, his lips met hers. Softly. Sweetly. But when he lifted them, he was frowning. “The guessing part isn’t about how much I want to take you to bed. It’s about whether or not it’s right.”

That made sense. Too much, unfortunately. Not that a little thing like scruples was going to stop her. She looped her hands around his neck, no easy feat since he was more than a foot taller than she. “And here I didn’t think you liked me.”

His smile was gentle. His hands skimmed her arms, raising a flock of goose bumps. “Let’s see…you were wearing a sweater that came down past your hips. Black, with huge red flowers embroidered all over it. A long black skirt. And these little flat shoes that made you look like a ballet dancer.” He touched her hair. “It was raining that day, and your hair was all fluffed out like chocolate cotton candy.” His gaze touched hers. “And you smelled like my grandmother’s bedroom, of sandalwood and roses.”

Her heart was hammering so hard she thought her ribs would crack. She remembered the day, and the rain, and her annoyance with her impossibly frizzed hair. “You remember what I was wearing the day we met?”

He nodded. “And each time we saw each other after that, believe it or not.” Once again, he touched her cheek, and sparks skittered all the way to her toes. “Believe me…I like you, Nancy. Always have. Always been attracted to you, too. Doesn’t mean I think we’re right for each other.”

Her insides had turned to water. She licked her lips. “You’re probably right. But that doesn’t necessarily preclude our going to bed with each other, either. Not if we both understand….”

His expression stopped her cold. A muscle ticked in his jaw, but neither smile nor frown crossed his features. Uh-oh. He was going to turn her down, then forever brand her as a brazen hussy too stupid to tell the difference between desire and intent. Okay, so he’d admitted wanting to go to bed with her, too. Didn’t mean he intended following through on it.

Then his hands slowly began making small, gentle circles on her back, as if afraid any sudden move might make her do something crazy. But she’d already done that, hadn’t she? Invited a man she’d never even dated into her bed?

She let out a soft yelp as, in a single swift and graceful movement, he framed her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze once again for the millisecond before he captured her mouth. A hard kiss, this time. Demanding. Testing. Guaranteed either to send her shrieking in the opposite direction or reduce her to a greedy, needy puddle at his feet.

Well, there was some definite whimpering going on here, but shrieking? Uh, no. Then she realized her breast had somehow found its way into his hand.

“Oh, mm…you found it,” she whispered between kisses.

“Uh, yeah. Pretty much right where I expected it to be.”

“No, I mean…well, we’re not exactly talking Baywatch quality here.”

He backed away just enough to frown down at her, then slowly, deliciously, scraped his fingernails across the nipple, his face a study in concentration.

She shuddered, gasped, saw a star or two. He laughed, softly. “Give me a perfect half-carat diamond over a ten-carat Cubic Zirconia any day. Besides, you hear anyone complaining?”

She swallowed, shook her head.

“Good. Then no more of this I-hate-my-body business.” One hand still claiming her breast, his other one slipped beneath both leggings and panties to cup her bottom. “Got that?”

She murmured something unintelligible as her nipple strained toward his palm; he tightened his grasp, skimming his thumb over the hard peak. Need shot through her like a behind-schedule express train. Oh, man—she’d forgotten how good that felt. Her mouth fell open, her eyes closed.

“Look at me,” he commanded, his voice roughened. Soft.

She opened her eyes to look deep into his.

Oh.

Oh…mama.

“I don’t have anything with me—”

“It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I can handle that part of things. And I’m…um…” “Yeah.” Was that a hint of desperation in his voice? “Me, too. Just had a complete physical a couple months ago.”

One of the cats meowed behind her, making them both jump. She tried to pull away, though she wasn’t sure why. But Rod held her fast, those strong hands warm, careful, on her…everything. However, in a brief but noteworthy moment, it occurred to her he could be a lousy lover, for all she knew. Or, well, he could think she was. Frankly, this could be one helluva disappointing experience.

And once they crossed the threshold to her bedroom, that would be it. So the question was—was it better to continue dwelling in What-if? Land, where she could continue to shape and prune her fantasies to her own, admittedly impossibly high standards, or forge ahead to reality, where she ran the risk of having her dreams shattered…and common sense restored?

His soft chuckle caught her attention. “For someone I’d pegged as impetuous to a fault, you seem to think enough for a hundred people.”

She smiled, a little, lifted one shoulder in a shrug. He kissed her forehead.

“You can change your mind, honey. I’ll limp to the car, but I’ll survive.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure I would.”

He snagged her chin in his hand, his touch sending shivers of anticipation streaking through her bloodstream. “This is a first for me, Nancy,” he said, his mouth a breath from hers. “I don’t do casual sex. Never have. But—”

“No!” she said, pressing her fingers to his mouth. “No buts.” She drew in a breath, let it out in shaky spurts. “I’m new to this, too,” she whispered, then let her forehead drop to his chest. He drew her close, his breath warm in her hair. “And I meant what I said, about this just being for…now. It’s only that—” she rubbed her face against the soft wool of his sweater, discovering that his own heartbeat was as rapid-fire as hers “—it might be nice to have someone make love to me again while I still remember how.”

She felt his chest expand, collapse, on a huge sigh, before he carried—yes, carried!—her into the bedroom, shutting the door on the cats.

Chapter 3

Something was batting his nose, soft but insistent, accompanied by a low rumbling and the distinctive aroma of cat breath, barely tempered by the smell of freshly brewed coffee sifting in through the open door. Rod peered out of one eye at the little calico, who grinned down, then slung her rump toward him, smacking him in the face.