Adding Up to Marriage

No kidding, he thought, locking the door behind her, closing his eyes for a moment to embrace the peace left in her wake before yielding to the temptation to eat another cookie.

Or two.

Why Jewel’d resisted letting Silas pay her, she had no idea. Wasn’t like she couldn’t use it. In fact, she could squeeze two weeks’ worth of groceries out of forty bucks. If she was careful. Especially since a lot of Patrice’s clients paid in produce and homemade canned goods, and Patrice shared.

Although, she mused when her mentor dropped her off back at Eli’s after their appointment the next morning, and she picked up the mail and there was the utilities bill sneering at her, unfortunately the gas company wasn’t keen on being paid in put-by peaches, no matter how tasty they were. And she’d’ve still been okay if she hadn’t broken her tooth last month and had had to get it capped.

She wasn’t a total lamebrain, she’d socked away as much of her nurse’s salary as she could, knowing she wouldn’t make squat while she was doing her midwife apprenticeship. She’d had a cushion. Only the cushion turned out to be a lot thinner than she’d thought.

At least Eli was letting her stay rent-free in his house until he was ready to sell it. Otherwise she honestly didn’t know what she’d do, she thought as she dug her checkbook out of her vintage Coach bag—a thrift shop score from five years ago—and flipped open the register. But alas, the Money Fairy hadn’t made a stealth deposit in the middle of the night.

Shutting her eyes against the bright fall sun, Jewel stuffed the checkbook back in her purse, so distracted and disgusted and discombobulated she didn’t even notice Noah standing on her roof until he called her name. She looked up, shielding her eyes, deciding she’d really be in a bad mood if the sight of all those muscles in a black T-shirt wasn’t cheering her up. “Thought you said you’d send somebody over?”

“Lost the coin toss. So where’s this leak again?”

“Right in the middle of the living room. And it only happens when the rain comes from the south.”

Noah vanished and Jewel went inside, moping, listening to Noah’s work boots stomp-stomp-stomping overhead. Then back. Then the sound of the metal extension ladder creaking as he climbed back down. A minute later, he knocked at the open door. Sitting at the small dining table in the kitchen, her head in her hands, Jewel looked up from the electric bill and its cousins, trying not to feel like a Grade A loser.

“Found the problem,” Noah said. “It’s not supposed to rain for the rest of the week, so I’ll get back to patch it up in the next day or so. Although …” He dug his fingers into the back of his neck, shaking his head.

“Problem?”

“Yeah. Every time I come over to fix something, I find another issue.” He crossed his arms. “I doubt even Eli realizes how much work the place needs. If he wants to sell it for more than two bucks, at least.”

Jewel frowned. “I’m not in any danger of the roof caving in while I sleep or anything, am I?”

“You might want to make sure your bed’s under the support beam … just kidding,” he said as she sagged back in the chair. “Um … you okay?”

This said in the manner of someone facing a potential bomb. Jewel almost smiled. “Other than feeling like this house? I’m fine.” She wriggled her mouth back and forth a moment, then said, “Y’all wouldn’t need some secretarial work done or anything, would you?” At his silence, she looked over. “What?”

“Jewel? I don’t want to be mean or anything … but you really need to give this up.”

“Give what up?”

“You’re sweet and all, but I’m not … interested.”

A laugh popped out of her mouth, only to almost immediately turn to tears. Much to her profound annoyance.

“Ah, hell, honey … I tried to let you down as easy as I knew how—”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Noah,” she said, grabbing a napkin off the table and honking into it, “I got that message loud and clear some time ago, okay? I’m not asking if you’ve got work to get closer to you, I’m asking because I’m broke.”

Cautiously, Noah came farther into the house.

“Really?”

“God’s honest truth,” she said on a harsh breath that released a flood of words. “The thing is, it’s not like I didn’t know going in how tight things were gonna be for a while until I got my license. And even then delivering babies is never gonna make me rich. And basically I’m okay with that—as long as there are thrift shops and beans and corn-bread, I’m good. Only I didn’t count on breaking a tooth on a piece of hard candy, and the dentist is threatening to send the bill to collections even though I’m paying him what I can, and if I don’t find a way to make some extra cash I might have to give up on being a midwife altogether. Bad enough my mother thinks it’s a cockamamie idea. Oh, Noah—I can’t fail, I just can’t!”

She blew her nose again, then took off her glasses to wipe the lenses. “Sorry. Sometimes my emotions kinda get the best of me. What?” she said when Noah kept looking at her funny.

“Actually, I meant …” He pointed between the two of them. “You’re really, um, over me?”

Wondering if the man had heard a single word she’d said, Jewel did a mental eye roll. “No offense, but worrying about starving to death kinda knocked you to the bottom of my things-to-think-about list.”

“Oh. Okay. Just checking. Because I don’t do—” he made air quotes “—relationships. Not in the way that most gals mean the word, at least. I have …” His forehead puckered. “Dalliances.”

A soggy, oh-geez, laugh burbled from Jewel’s mouth. “And you think I don’t … dally?”

The puckering intensified. “Do you?”

“Guess you’ll never find out now. I mean, you had your chance, but …” Her shoulders bumped. “That particular window of opportunity is now closed. But I really do need a job. So could you use some extra help? I’ll do anything—scrub toilets, haul trash—I’m not proud.”

Finally, he seemed to relax. “Damn, Jewel … we just hired on Luis’s wife part-time. Sorry. Wish you’d said something sooner.”

“No problem,” she said, sighing. “Not your fault. Anyway. Thanks.”

He gave her a last, lost look—men were good at that—then nodded and left, the door clicking shut behind him. With a groan Jewel let her head drop onto her folded arms, hearing her mother’s voice as clear as if she’d been standing right there, going on about how silly Jewel’d been to have let Justin go, that if she’d married him she wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

Maybe so, Jewel thought, lifting her head. Except for the small issue of her not wanting to get married. To Justin or anybody else. Not then, not now. Maybe not ever. But at twenty-five? No way. Not when she had all these things she wanted to do. To be.

If she sometimes yearned so much for what had kept eluding her as a child she thought she’d lose her mind, she supposed that was the trade-off for the peace that came with knowing that whatever choices she made, the only person she could hurt was herself.

And that nobody could hurt her, either.

She bet, if she had the nerve to ask him, Silas Garrett would understand where she was coming from. Shoot, ask anybody, they’d talk your ear off about his resistance to his mother’s attempts to fix him up. And the look on his face when Jewel’d asked him about the boys’ mother? Yeah, there was somebody who was more than happy with things the way they were, she was guessing. So if it was okay for Silas—who could probably use another set of hands and eyes to help him with those two rascals of his—to stay single, why wasn’t it for her?

Never mind the bizarre ping of attraction to the man, with his soulful green eyes and killer mouth and the ten kinds of take-no-prisoners, sexy authority he exuded. A thought that, okay, got her hormones just the teensiest bit hot and bothered. So sue her, it’d been a while. But please—the last thing she needed in her life was an uptight, over-protective numbers geek with borderline OCD issues.

Put like that, she probably didn’t even like him. No, she was sure she didn’t. The killer mouth/soulful eyes thing notwithstanding. And she seriously doubted he liked her. She also seriously doubted Silas Garrett had ever been the victim of a rogue hormone in his life. Heck, he probably rationed the suckers, only letting them out for a half hour on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other Saturday.

So it was all good, right?

Blowing out a breath—and putting her rowdy hormones in the corner—Jewel got to her feet to grab her purse and keys to her ten-year-old Toyota Highlander with its dings and scratches and 180,000 miles, figuring getting out of this house would improve her mood greatly. Not to mention if she wanted work, in all likelihood it wasn’t going to come knocking on her door, was it?

Arms folded, Silas sat on the beige corduroy couch in his brother Eli’s perpetually messy, eclectically furnished living room, glowering at the fire in the kiva fireplace while all around him brothers and sisters-in-law yakked, kids raced and toddlers toddled. Every other week, at least, they all got together for family dinner. Up until tonight that had always been at his folks’ house, but since Mom was out of commission Eli’s wife Tess had volunteered to host the melee.

Brave woman, Silas mused as Tess shoved two action figures and a rag doll off the overstuffed, floral chair at a right angle to the sofa and plopped into it, her seven-months-pregnant belly like a ripe melon underneath her lightweight sweater. Her three-year-old daughter Julia, all sassy dark curls and attitude, crawled up to wriggle her butt into the space between her mother and the arm of the chair while Ollie and Julia’s brother Miguel—step-cousins, classmates and cohorts in crime—chased Silas’s shrieking, twenty-month-old niece Caitlin around the room. Pretending to be monsters. Or something.

“One good thing about the noise,” Tess yelled over the insanity as she combed her fingers through Julia’s curls, “it feels so good when it stops.”

Silas smirked. “Does it ever?”

Humor crinkled the corners of thick-lashed dark eyes. “When the last one leaves for college?”

Silas laughed, but his heart really wasn’t in it. Those eyes narrowing, Tess kissed Julia on the head and gently prodded her off the chair. “Go, torment boys,” she said, then heaved herself out of the chair to drop beside Silas. The fattest, furriest cat in the world promptly jumped up in what was left of her lap, making her grunt out, “Okay, so what’s up?”

Silas crossed his arms high on his chest, his forehead knotted. “You ever work when the kids are at home?”