Playing With Fire

Then a shadow fell over her. Her hands were firmly grasped and lowered from their futile fumbling. An instant later the chinstrap was released and Annabel ripped off the helmet and sucked in huge sobbing gulps of air.

‘Take it easy, a mhuirnín. You’re going to hyperventilate.’

Aidan’s gentle, reasonable tone should have calmed her, but instead it infuriated her. Take it easy? He wasn’t the one who’d nearly suffocated, whose fingers and toes had gone numb and tingly through lack of oxygen. She dragged in another lungful and another and another.

‘Come on now. You’ll only make it worse.’ This time, his soothing murmur was accompanied by a stabilising hand that slid around her nape and exerted steady pressure downwards, pushing her head toward her knees. ‘Breathe.’

Couldn’t he tell that was what she was trying to do? Anger erupted through the panic. This was his fault anyway.

She pushed back against the pressure of the hand until she could glare at him where he crouched in front of her, his own helmet nowhere in sight. ‘Why the fuck did you ignore me? I wanted you to pull over miles ago,’ she bit out between gasps. ‘We need to turn around and go back. I can’t be here.’

He reached for her again. ‘Calm down –’

‘Don’t you dare!’ she shouted over him. ‘Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. We need to leave. Now.’ Staggering back to her feet, she grasped the helmet between her hands as she mustered every ounce of the courage she’d need to make herself put it back on, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. ‘You’ve no idea what you’ve done here.’

Aidan also straightened. ‘I do know, Annabel. I know what this place is to you.’

Something icy-cold shot up the back of her neck, and her gaze flew up to his face. ‘What?’

‘I know this is where the photograph of you and your father was taken.’ Those grey eyes of his seemed even more intense than usual, focused unwaveringly on her. ‘The place you grew up. I brought you here for a reason.’

Annabel gaped at him for a frozen moment then the shock cracked open and she went for him, shoving the helmet at his chest with enough force to push him back half a step. ‘You bastard. How dare you?’ She shoved again, but this time he was braced and ready and simply rocked on the spot. ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at?’

‘I’m not playing,’ he said, raising his hands to block the third shove aimed at his chest so that they both held the helmet gripped between them. ‘This is too important for it to be a game.’

‘Oh, please! Everything’s a game to you.’ Including her. This was why she needed to protect herself against him. He had no boundaries when it came to bulldozing his way into every corner of her being, exposing every part of her.

‘Not this. Believe me.’

‘Believe you?’ she stared at him with wide-eyed incredulity. ‘When all you do is pull dirty tricks?’

‘I’m not trying to trick you. I’m trying to help you.’

No. Any fool could see that he was trying to control and manipulate her. And she wasn’t a fool. ‘You want to help me?’ she snapped, tugging the helmet free from his grasp. ‘Great. The most helpful thing you can do is take me back to London.’

Spinning away, she spotted the bike standing nearby and stomped towards it. Pulling her helmet on, she found herself having trouble with the blasted chinstrap again. She needed to slow down a bit and concentrate, but honestly, she couldn’t believe the audacity of the man. To think he thought it acceptable to interfere …

Aidan was suddenly in front of her again, his fingers joining hers under her chin. But this time they seemed intent on hindering her efforts rather than helping. She pushed them away, and ducked to avoid his hands as they reached out to remove the helmet from her head. She wasn’t quite quick enough to stop his next move, which flipped her visor up.

‘We’re not going anywhere,’ he announced through the opening. ‘Not until we’ve sorted this.’

She stared at him. ‘I am not staying here! I can’t. You seriously thought trying to force me into coming here for the night was a good idea?’

‘We’re not staying here. It’s only a lunch stop, Annabel.’

That was supposed to make it any better? ‘Then let’s find somewhere else for lunch.’

Aidan started to shake his head.

‘Fine. I’ll call a cab.’ She removed the helmet and tossed it to him, then unzipped a pocket in the leather jacket and got out her phone. No bloody signal. Feeling Aidan’s gaze upon her every move, she shoved the useless device back in her pocket. ‘Or I’ll walk.’

As she strode off across the carpark towards the road, she was aware of him falling in beside her, his long legs making it easy for him to keep up, though he made no move to touch her or stop her.

‘Your reaction says that you do need to be here, Annabel. You need to face this.’

‘Don’t “shrink” me,’ she snapped, not turning, not breaking stride. ‘You’re trying to fix me. If I’m not good enough for you, you know what –’

‘You’re perfect for me,’ he interrupted. ‘The small part of you that you’re prepared to share, at any rate. So no, I’m not trying to fix you, I’m trying to get to know more about you. Understand you.’

‘And you think dragging me to a place I haven’t been in twenty years and raking over a past that has nothing to do with you is the best way to understand me?’ She gave him a look that matched the sarcasm in her tone. At the end of the driveway she turned and continued marching along the road in the direction from which they’d just come.

‘I think it’s a relevant place to start, at least,’ Aidan persevered, still keeping step with her. ‘What’s here that you can’t bear to face? Does it bring back such bad memories?’

Only the devastating memory of losing the only place in her life where she’d felt safe and happy and loved for who she was. ‘No.’

‘Then think about that for a moment. If that’s the case your reaction makes no sense. From what I can tell, things from your past still haunt you. You won’t be able to move on until you face whatever ghosts you carry. You can’t do that if you keep running from them.’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about. And even if you did, you certainly don’t get to make those sorts of decisions for me.’

‘Annabel, please. Trus–’

Sensing what was coming she swung on him. ‘If you dare say, “Trust me,” I will slap you!’

His black brows shot up at the threat, but his tone remained mild, perhaps a little amused, as he said, ‘I was going to say, “Trust yourself,” actually.’ Then the humour melted away to be replaced by sincerity. ‘That’s the only thing that really matters here,’ he said, the lyrical tones of his Irish accent softening to an alluring lilt. ‘Believe in yourself. You know you can do this.’

She stood there, breathing heavily, aware that he was trying to play her with charm – even more aware and perturbed to discover that there was a part of her that wanted to fall for it. Unsettled, she blurted somewhat petulantly, ‘Maybe I don’t want to do it.’

Pulling off a glove, Aidan took a step closer. He placed his bare fingertips on the side of her neck, resting them lightly over the spot where she could feel the racing gallop of her pulse.

‘There’s no “maybe” about it,’ he murmured with a crooked smile. ‘It’s perfectly obvious that you don’t want to.’

‘Then we’re in agreement for once. Let’s go.’ She turned and started walking again but Aidan caught her hand and pulled her off the road onto the wooded verge.

‘I’ll make a deal with you. If you can give one valid reason why you don’t want to do this, we’ll leave.’

Was irrational fear a valid reason? she wondered. Too bad if it was. She’d never admitted that kind of weakness to anyone before, and she wasn’t going to start now. Nor was there much point in trying to make something up, given Aidan’s uncanny ability to see through her deceptions. He was as astute as he was infuriating.

She tried to pull her hand free, but he only tightened his grip.

‘Come on, Annabel,’ he challenged. ‘What are you really afraid of?’

Since he’d come into her life? Too much, it seemed. She was afraid of him. Of herself. Of the past, the future. Afraid of her own bloody shadow. ‘Nothing. Everything. I don’t know!’ she shouted, exasperated.

He looked at her for a long moment – calm, cool, collected. ‘And that’s why I really think you should do it. Come on.’ He stepped back onto the road, and, using the hand he’d effortlessly kept hold of, towed her back towards the inn.

Chapter Seven (#ulink_6d952cda-4eb2-5643-ac44-852e5ca3a487)

Aidan watched Annabel’s every move carefully as, back in the carpark, he secured the bike and collected their helmets. After the way he’d shocked her, she’d be justified in bolting.