Capturing The Single Dad's Heart

‘I’m quite happy to follow the normal protocol here,’ he said mildly.

‘That’s not the impression you gave in the meeting.’ The words were out before she could hold them back.

‘I apologise if I upset you,’ he said. ‘Why is the garden so important to you?’

He seriously thought she was going to tell him that—so he could go ahead and judge her as harshly as she judged herself? No way. ‘I’ve been working on the project for a year,’ she said instead. ‘And I’ve seen the difference it’s made to patients elsewhere. Phase one is the garden, phase two is the covered area, and maybe we can have some raised beds in phase three and a greenhouse so the patients can grow plants. If it proves to them that they can still do something, that they can still contribute to life instead of having to be looked after every second of the day and feel like a burden to everyone, it’ll help them adjust to their new life and the prospect of having to change their career.’

‘I think Nick’s right,’ Nate said, his expression inscrutable. ‘For now we’ll agree to disagree.’

She inclined her head. ‘As you wish. Though I’d be interested to know why you’re so against the project.’

‘Because several times before now I’ve seen funds raised to help patients and then wasted on people’s pet hobbyhorses,’ he said.

Deep breath, she told herself. He might be right about it being her pet hobbyhorse, but the rest of it was way off the mark. ‘I can assure you that what we’re doing isn’t a waste of funds. And it’s not just about the patients. As I said, it’s a community garden, with local volunteers helping. That’s everyone from older people who’ve moved into a flat and miss having a garden through to young mums who want just a couple of hours a week doing something that’s not centred around the baby, and the local sixth form’s involved, too. It’s a project that gives extra credit towards exams for some of them, and others can talk about it on their personal statement when they apply to university. It’s getting everyone working together to make a difference and absolutely everyone involved gets some benefit from it. I’m sorry if you see a garden as a waste of money, but the rest of us really don’t.’

* * *

Erin was really passionate about this project, Nate thought. Her face had been full of animation when she’d talked about the garden and what she thought it could do for their patients.

Then he shook himself mentally. Yes, Erin Leyton was pretty, with her curly light brown hair caught back at the nape of her neck, clear grey eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose. But, even if he were in a place where he could think about having a relationship—which he most definitely wasn’t, with his life being in utter chaos right now—it would be way too complicated, given that they had such opposing views on fundamental things.

Though maybe he was only being scratchy with her because he was so frustrated with how things were going outside work, and that wasn’t fair of him. It wasn’t Erin’s fault that his ex-wife had dropped a bombshell on him only a week before he’d started his new job and he’d been running round like a headless chicken ever since, trying to sort everything out. And it definitely wasn’t Erin’s fault that he hated himself for being such a failure.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re right—it’s like the new boy stamping everywhere to try and make an impression.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You were thinking it, though.’

She gave him a rueful smile. ‘Can you blame me?’

‘No—and actually, it isn’t that at all. I apologise. I shouldn’t bring my baggage to work.’

The hostility in her grey eyes melted in an instant. ‘Apology accepted. And sometimes,’ she said quietly, ‘it helps to have someone to talk to—someone who isn’t involved with the situation and won’t judge you or spread gossip.’

She was offering him a shoulder to cry on, even after he’d been combative towards her in a meeting involving what was clearly her pet project? That was unbelievably generous. Then again, he wasn’t that surprised. He’d already noticed Erin’s name at the top of all the internal memos organising a team night out or a collection for someone’s birthday or baby shower. He had a feeling that she was one of life’s fixers.

Well, his life couldn’t be fixed right now. He wasn’t sure if it ever could be. ‘Thanks for the offer,’ he said, ‘but I don’t really know you.’

She shrugged, but he could see the momentary flash of hurt on her face. ‘Fair enough. Forget I said anything.’

He felt like a heel, but he couldn’t even offer anyone friendship at the moment. Not until he’d sorted things out with Caitlin and established a better relationship with her. And he had no idea how long that was going to take. Right now it felt like it was never going to happen.

‘Let’s do the ward rounds,’ he said. ‘We have Kevin Bishop first. He’s forty-five, but he has the spine of a sixty-five-year-old—it’s a really bad case of stenosis.’

‘Is that from normal wear and tear,’ she asked, ‘or is it job-related?’

‘Probably a bit of both. He’s a builder. He has two worn discs, and the sheath around his spinal cord has narrowed,’ Nate explained.

‘Which would put pressure on his spinal nerves—so it sounds as if the poor guy’s been in a lot of pain,’ she said, her face full of sympathy.

‘He’s been taking anti-inflammatories,’ Nate said, ‘but he says they don’t even touch the pain any more.’

‘So you’re looking at major surgery and weeks of rehabilitation?’ she asked. ‘If so, Mr Bishop could be a candidate for the sensory garden.’

‘No, no and no,’ Nate said. ‘He won’t be here for long. I’m planning to use an interspinous spacer device this afternoon rather than doing a laminectomy.’

‘I’ve read about that,’ she said. ‘Isn’t there a larger risk of the patient needing to have surgery again in the future if you use a spacer rather than taking a slice of bone off the area putting pressure on his spinal cord?’

‘Yes, but there’s also a much lower risk of complications than you’d get from taking off the bit of bone that rubs and causes the pain, plus it’s just a small incision and he’ll be out again in a couple of days. I’d normally use the procedure for older patients or those with higher risks of surgery,’ Nate said. ‘Kevin Bishop is still young but, given that he’s overweight and has high blood pressure, I think he’s higher risk.’

‘Fair enough. So how exactly does the spacer work?’

Nate could see that she was asking from a professional viewpoint rather than questioning his competence; he knew that Erin was a neurologist rather than a surgeon. ‘We’ll put a spacer into his lower vertebrae. It’ll act as a supportive spring and relieve the pressure on the nerve. It gives much better pain relief than epidural steroid injections, plus the spinal nerves aren’t exposed so there’s a much lower risk of scarring.’ He paused. Maybe this would be a way of easing the tension between them after that meeting. ‘Provided Mr Bishop gives his consent, you can come and watch the op, if you like.’

‘Seriously?’ She looked surprised that he’d even offered.

‘Seriously.’ Was she going to throw it back in his face, or accept it as the offer of a truce?

‘I’d really like that. Thank you.’ She smiled at him.

Again Nate felt that weird pull of attraction and reminded himself that this really wasn’t appropriate. For all he knew, Erin could be in a serious relationship. Not that he was going to ask, because he didn’t want her to think that he was interested in her. He didn’t have the headspace or the mental energy right now to be interested in anyone. His focus needed to be on his daughter and learning how to be a good full-time dad to her. ‘Uh-huh,’ he said, feeling slightly awkward, and went with Erin to see his patient.

He introduced her swiftly to Kevin Bishop.

‘I’ve reviewed the scans of your spine, Mr Bishop, and your blood tests are all fine, too, so I’m happy to go ahead with surgery today,’ he said. ‘Would you mind if Dr Leyton here sits in on the operation?’

‘No, that’s fine,’ Mr Bishop said, looking relieved. ‘I’m just glad you’re going to do it today. I’m really looking forward to being able to tie my own shoelaces again, and to stand up without my legs tingling all the time.’

‘It’s been that bad?’ Erin asked sympathetically.

Mr Bishop nodded. ‘The pain’s been terrible. Rest doesn’t help and the tablets don’t seem to work any more. My doctor said I’d have to have surgery—I was dreading the idea of being stuck in hospital for weeks, but Mr Townsend said that I’d only be in for a few days.’ He gave her a weary smile. ‘I just want to be able to play football with my kids again and get back to my job.’

‘The surgery will make things much better,’ Nate promised. ‘I know we talked about it before, but I’d like to run through the situation again to make sure you’re happy about what’s happening.’

Mr Bishop nodded.

‘Basically what happens is that the nerves in your spine run down a tunnel called the spinal canal. You’ve had a lot of wear and tear on your spine, and that makes the spinal canal narrower; that means it squeezes the nerves when you stand or walk, which is why you’re getting pain. What I want to do is put a spacer between two of the bones in your spine, and that will relieve the pressure and stop the pain. Now, you haven’t eaten anything since last night?’

‘No, though I’m dying for a cup of tea,’ Mr Bishop admitted.

Nate smiled. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get your cup of tea this afternoon. I’ll get the pre-op checks organised now and I’m going to operate on you at two. The operation’s going to be under a local anaesthetic, but you’ll also be sedated so you won’t remember anything about it afterwards. You’ll be lying face down during the operation on a special curved mattress; that will reduce the pressure on your chest and pelvis, and also give me better access to your spine.’

‘How long will the operation take?’ Mr Bishop asked.

‘It should be about an hour or so, depending on what I find—but from your scan it looks pretty straightforward.’

‘That’s great.’ Mr Bishop smiled. ‘I still can’t believe I’ll be able to go home again in a couple of days. I thought I’d be stuck in here for weeks.’