Where The Heart Is

So he was still counting.

‘You?’ he asked.

‘Christmas.’

‘There’s never a good time to lose someone, but Christmas has to be the worst. Sympathy cards instead of season’s greetings.’

Except Rowena hadn’t even had those. After all, she wasn’t Peggy’s relative, merely a friend and colleague. Peggy might have been the nearest Rowena had had to a mother—but Rowena wasn’t family. She hadn’t been able to intrude where she’d known she hadn’t really belonged. So she’d stayed on the sidelines and tried to ignore the huge empty space deep inside her.

‘It still hurts. Some days, I wonder if it’s ever going to stop hurting,’ he said. ‘Just when I think I’m doing fine, something triggers a memory and I’m back at the start.’

‘Me, too.’ Even something as silly as Peggy’s favourite dish being the staff canteen’s special of the day.

‘I’ve been single for eighteen months. I had all the tests you can think of before I came out here, and I’m clean. I don’t do flings. I don’t do happy ever after either.’

He could have been speaking for her. Though she’d been single for a lot longer.

‘But right now I want you, Rowena. I want to lose myself in you. And maybe I can kiss you better, too.’

‘And tomorrow?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said simply. ‘I can’t think beyond right here, right now.’ He raked his free hand through his hair. ‘Hell. I’m not even thinking straight. Ignore me. And I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. I mean, asking you for a one-night stand. How tacky can I get? I didn’t—’

She cut him off by leaning over and pressing her mouth to his. Just lightly. It was meant to be a ‘stop babbling, it’s OK’ kind of kiss, but it didn’t work out that way. The next thing she knew, her hands were threaded through his hair and his mouth was demanding more from hers.

‘It’s cold out here,’ he whispered when he broke the kiss. ‘I’d like to continue this somewhere warmer. Somewhere private.’

‘My tent or yours?’

He smiled. ‘I hoped you’d say that rather than slapping my face. Though I should warn you that I don’t think I can stop at kissing.’

She couldn’t either. His hand was resting lightly on her knee, and she was willing it to move higher. ‘We’re both doctors. We should be sensible.’

He clearly guessed she meant birth control. ‘Uh-huh. I could go to the refugio.’

Except that would mean asking round to find someone who had a stock of condoms. Rowena didn’t want the gossip. Or, even worse, the wait. She wanted Luke. Right here, right now. ‘I’m on the Pill. But I don’t sleep around,’ she emphasised. Been there, done that, when she’d been eighteen. Six months of trying to block out the worst of all rejections. She’d learned then that sex couldn’t fill the emptiness, so what the hell did she think she was doing now?

The sensible side of her told her she should stop right now. The reckless side stuffed its hand over the sensible side’s mouth and cheered her on. So she tipped up her face in offering, and he kissed her again.

He was shaking when she broke the kiss. ‘I don’t sleep around either.’ There was a long, long pause. ‘So. Are you saying we…?’

‘Uh-huh.’ She couldn’t resist mimicking him.

‘Right now, there’s nothing I’d like more,’ he informed her, his voice husky, ‘than to beat my chest, do a Tarzan yell, haul you over my shoulder and carry you back to my tent.’

The image made her smile. At the same time, it excited her. Luke MacKenzie was a man who could make her lose control. If she let him.

Rowena stood up and held out her hand. ‘Let’s be civilised about this.’

‘I don’t feel very civilised.’ But he stood up, took her hand, and walked with her back to his tent. Neither of them felt the need to speak.

She crawled into the low tent. He followed seconds later. And then she lost track of everything. She had no idea who’d taken off whose clothes, when or how it happened; she was just aware of a flurry of need, of kisses and endearments, caresses. She thought she might be hyperventilating, and Luke was definitely shuddering with need.

‘N-now,’ she gasped.

He jammed his mouth over hers and entered her. But it wasn’t like it had been when she’d been eighteen, making love with students her own age. Luke was in his thirties, he was all man, and he knew exactly what he was doing. Rowena wasn’t prepared for how good this felt, the surge of power in his body as he thrust into her. All she could do was wrap her legs round his waist and cling to him for dear life. She tipped her head back, exhaling sharply, and he kissed his way down her throat, finding sensitive spots she hadn’t even known existed.

And then she was falling, shattering into little pieces—and flying at the same time. She murmured his name, rubbed herself against him like a cat; and then he went very still, very focused, and she heard him sigh her name against her ear.

‘Thank you,’ he said softly.

‘Mmm.’ She didn’t think she quite had the power of speech yet.

‘You’re going to get frostbite. Hang on.’ Somehow she found herself inside his sleeping bag. And he was pulling his clothes on.

‘Where are you…?’ she mumbled.

‘That’s a single sleeping bag. It’s too small for both of us. And I haven’t finished yet. Give me two minutes.’ She heard him blow a kiss at her and he disappeared out of the tent.

How could he be so coherent when she most definitely wasn’t? By the time she’d asked herself just what made him think she was staying in his tent all night, and started to work up some healthy outrage, he’d returned.

With her sleeping bag and a torch.

‘You can say no,’ he said, clearly reading the expression on her face, ‘but I’d like you to have the choice. You can go back to your own tent, no strings. Or you can stay with me—if we zip our bags together, we’ll have more room. And more warmth.’

Warmth. She couldn’t help smiling. ‘We’re on the edge of an ice field.’

‘It’s about four hours’ walk away, but that’s near enough.’ He spread his hands. ‘Are you staying or going?’

The sensible thing would be to go. But she hadn’t finished either. She wanted to explore him. Tangle her fingers in that glorious hair. ‘Staying.’

A slow, brilliant smile spread over his face. ‘I’m glad.’ His voice dropped to a sultry whisper. ‘And, even better, I get to unwrap you.’

‘One condition,’ she interrupted.

‘Name it.’

‘You strip for me after that.’

‘Deal.’ And, as before, he sealed it with a kiss—a kiss that started out as a light, friendly tribute and suddenly tipped into something much, much hotter. She heard a hiss, and then he was crouching in front of her. ‘Mmm. The first thing I noticed about you was your eyes.’ He gave her a mischievous look. ‘I’ll be thinking about some other parts of you now.’

She felt herself blush, and he grinned. ‘Don’t be shy. You’re beautiful, Rowena. And the only reason I’m covering you up is because you’re going to get cold otherwise.’ Deftly, he zipped the two bags together.

‘Your turn,’ she said softly.

‘Um. Can we take a rain check?’

‘Welching on the deal?’