Rafael's Love-Child

Her voice shook on the words, but whether in laughter or distress she had no idea. She felt perilously close to both, hot tears burning in her eyes so that she blinked hard, determined not to let them fall.

This was what he had meant all along. How could she have been so foolishly naïve? She had thought that he was attracted to her, that he hadn’t been able to resist her. She had believed that he had invited her to stay with him because he wanted to get to know her better. Instead, he had considered the problem—hers and his—quite coldly and come up with a purely pragmatic solution.

She needed a home. Rafael could provide one. He needed someone to care for his child and he had decided that that was a service she could offer in return for her board and lodging. The idea of his wanting her in any other way had had nothing to do with it.

‘But I don’t know anything about looking after a baby!’

‘You will learn.’

Once again her objections were dismissed peremptorily.

‘And I saw the look on your face when I brought him in here. I have no intention of leaving him with some woman for whom this is a job and nothing more. I want someone who would put him first always.’

Someone who didn’t have a life, Serena reflected bitterly, linking the fingers of both hands together and staring down at them in order to hide the expression in her eyes from him. She had nowhere else to go, no one to turn to. He knew that, and had used it ruthlessly against her. He might have couched it in terms of offering her a job, helping her, but he knew only too well that he held all the cards in his hands.

But then she thought of Tonio, of his big, unblinking eyes, and the way his tiny hand had closed around her finger, and her heart clenched on a wave of emotion.

The baby was Rafael’s trump card. He must have seen her face when she had looked down at him, the tenderness she hadn’t been able to disguise. In the first moment she had seen him something deep and primitive had tugged at her heart. There was no way she could turn her back on the motherless infant, and Rafael knew that.

‘You need a home, a place to live while you convalesce and regain your strength, and Tonio needs a nanny. You can live in my home; there is more than enough room for everyone. I have a housekeeper who will serve as a chaperon if you should feel the need of one. I will pay you a decent wage. It’s an arrangement that will suit us all.’

‘It seems very fair.’

It was a perfectly sensible arrangement, Serena told herself drearily. And perhaps, if he had suggested it yesterday, she might have seen it as the answer to all her problems. If he had suggested it before he had taken her in his arms. Before he had kissed her in a way that had changed their relationship for ever.

But he had held her. He had kissed her. And as a result of the dreams she had allowed herself to indulge in, just for a moment, what he now offered her could only ever be second best.

‘Then you agree?’

Did she have any choice?

‘Serena?’ Rafael prompted hardly. ‘I need an answer.’

And there was really only one she could give him. Slowly, reluctantly, she nodded.

‘I agree.’

It was obviously the response he had expected. The swift, brusque nod of his dark head told her he had never anticipated anything else. Pushing back the cuff of his crisp white shirt, he consulted the slim watch that he wore on his wrist, gold against the bronze of his skin.

‘I have to go now,’ he said, brisk and businesslike once more, the matter settled to his satisfaction, his mind already moving on to other things. ‘But I’ll be back in the morning. Dr Greene says that she expects to discharge you then, so I will collect you as soon as she has made the final decision… Around ten-thirty, then?’

‘Ten-thirty.’

But as he turned and headed for the door she found she could no longer hold back. All the feelings, all the hunger he had woken in her came flooding back with such force that before she quite realised what was happening she had opened her mouth and spoken impetuously.

‘Rafael!’

The tone of her voice brought him to an abrupt halt, turning on his heel and swinging round to face her.

‘What is it?’

‘You—you said that—that while I still had no memory then there could be nothing at all between us… But what if things changed? If my memory came back—and I knew all about myself? What would happen then?’

Rafael’s breath hissed in between his teeth as he considered his answer, and the momentary pause made her heart clench in something close to panic inside her chest.

‘If that happened,’ he said slowly, golden eyes burning into hers, holding her unmoving. ‘If you remembered, then things would be so very different. In that case, belleza, all bets would very definitely be off.’

CHAPTER FOUR

SERENA stared out of her bedroom window, struggling to take in what she saw. The contrast with the modest size and facilities of her hospital room, comfortable though it had been, could not have been greater.

There was enough room here to house a family of twelve, an army of nannies, and then some more! The gardens stretched out on all sides, making it impossible to believe they were only a few miles from London. And this was only Rafael’s ‘English base’. The place where he stayed when business commitments brought him to Britain. His family home, he had told her was in Almeria. And he also had an apartment in Madrid.

So what was she doing here, in the middle of all this luxury? How had Serena Martin, a girl from the Yorkshire Dales whose one ambition had been to study History at university and then perhaps teach, ended up living with a Spanish millionaire, ostensibly acting as nanny to his baby son?

‘I told you, I want someone who will care for Tonio,’ he had declared impatiently when, in the car on the way here, she had raised the question that had fretted at her all night. ‘All the qualifications in the world count for nothing if there is no real affection. There are too many horror stories in the papers these days. I prefer to go with my own judgement.’

‘And your judgement says precisely what about me? What can I offer your son?’

‘Two arms to hold him safely, a soft voice to soothe him when he cries. Someone to distract him when he is restless…’

‘Any woman could do that!’ Serena protested. ‘Why does it have to be me?’

‘Are you saying you don’t want the job?’ Rafael questioned sharply, his hands tightening on the steering wheel.

‘No, of course I’m not saying that! It’s just that I don’t see why you are so determined to have me…’