Small-Town Dreams and The Girl Next Door: Small-Town Dreams / The Girl Next Door

So she sat thumbing through Maude’s Bible and came to the book of Joshua. She remembered Josh’s explanation of how he’d gotten his name, and wondered if Maude was right. Did God really do more than observe from afar? Could the distant Being she’d only thought of in passing for years really care enough about her to guide her life? To want her to be happy?

“I suppose you’ll be rushing back to your grandfather and his company as soon as your car is fixed,” Maude grumbled.

Cassidy fumbled the Bible. “Oh, I thought you’d drifted off!” She looked up into eyes that were shrewd and penetrating.

“Well, of course I did. I’m an old woman. I sleep all the time. Waste of time if you ask me. I don’t have much left before I go home to the Lord, and here I am doing something I don’t want to do but I don’t have a choice. You do. It’s stupid for you to waste your youth trying to be what you aren’t. Now, go keep Joshua company. I’m going to take a nap. A long one this time.”

Joshua looked over his shoulder as he pulled the trash out of the truck bed and tossed it into the Dumpster behind Irma’s Cafe. Cassidy stood leaning against the rear fender of the pickup, looking up at the sky. She’d been quiet ever since he’d left her alone with Maude. He’d taken her up there hoping time with someone with more problems than she had would give Cassie some perspective, but she seemed even more troubled now. “Did Maude say something to upset you?”

Cassidy looked at him as he walked to her side. “Not upset. She gave me a lot to think about. At first she mostly talked about you.”

“A truly terrifying subject, I can see.”

She smiled for the first time in an hour. “You are such a teaser, Joshua Daniels. What I’ve been thinking about are the things she said about God. Her perceptions of Him, and yours and Irma and Henry’s, are so different from any I’ve ever heard before. You all seem to think He really cares. Irma said He even cares what we do with our lives.”

“I believe He does.”

“I guess you must. She also told me not to waste my life doing something I don’t want to do. But Josh, what about that commandment? It’s something about honoring our parents. Wouldn’t that extend to my grandfather, too, since he was my guardian? He wants me to work with him, and I don’t think I want to. How is that honoring his wishes?”

Josh sighed. “I always thought this amnesia of mine was a burden. Maybe it isn’t if pleasing family is this much trouble. I can’t imagine not doing what I do. Doesn’t your grandfather want you to be happy?”

“He thinks Jamison Steel will make me happy.”

“Maybe you need to tell him it doesn’t. It seems to me that if he loves you, he’ll understand. As for God, of course He cares what you do with your life. In Luke 12:6 and 12:7, Jesus tells that even though sparrows aren’t worth a lot of money, God knows about what is happening to every one of them. Now figure that if He cares that much about lowly birds, we’re worth much more to Him. Is it any wonder that He cares much more what is happening to us and what we do with our lives?”

“I guess,” she said almost unconsciously, and returned to her silent perusal of the sky. “Could God have a different plan for me than working at Jamison Steel?”

“I only know that we don’t always understand at the time why things happen or why life takes us in another direction than the one we thought we’d go, but that eventually we understand. Then it’s like this lightbulb goes on and we say, ‘Oh, now I get it.’”

Cassidy crossed her arms. He could see her thinking, her eyes staring unseeingly ahead, yet alive and active. He knew a tough question was coming. She didn’t disappoint him. “Then…if He’s really out there directing things, why not tell us what’s up somehow. And why do awful things happen, like you getting hurt so badly, if He’s the one directing them?”

Josh took a deep breath and said a silent prayer for the right words. “You mean like, why do bad things happen to good people? It’s an age-old question and the answer is really pretty simple. Because He gave us free will, and some people choose to use it for evil or are just careless in the case of accidents.

“I guess there are some things that happen that He could stop like tornados and such, but He doesn’t. And that sort of plays into the first part of your question,” he continued. “If we knew why trials come into our lives, we wouldn’t need to rely on Him. And He wants us to turn to Him. In the tough times when we rely on His strength, He gives us this sweet peace about our circumstance, and we get to know His love better that way.”

“So He could really want me to do something else?”

“Maybe. Or maybe He wants you at least to change your priorities.” Josh dropped an arm behind her onto the wall of the pickup bed and stared off at the sky with her. He wondered if she saw the Lord’s majesty in the stars the way he did.

When Cassidy turned her head and looked up at him, Josh felt as if Jerry Frank’s prize mare had kicked him in the stomach.

“Why can’t life be as simple as this?” she asked, her hand gesturing to the quiet forest scene before them.

“Can’t imagine,” he said.

He stood there staring down into her compelling gaze, at a complete loss for words. All he wanted at that moment was to feel her in his arms and her lips under his. Josh stepped back, sure she would be horrified if she knew what he’d been thinking.

As he turned away, he thought he saw a look of disappointment cross her expression. But when he looked back a split second later, he was sure he’d been wrong.

Josh looked up from the commentary on Daniel he was reading when he heard movement at the door of the study. Cassidy stood framed by the light of the parlor, curiosity written on her features. He glanced around the room with its floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and cheery fire leaping in the fireplace. He wanted to remember her here in this room he loved so dearly. “Come on in. What can I do for you?”

She shrugged. “I’m sort of at loose ends. What are you doing?”

“Henry’s eyesight isn’t all that good anymore. I’m looking up some references for him.”

“References? You mean where something is in the Bible?”

Josh shook his head. “I’ve got most of that in my head. Henry, too. No, this is more like which church scholar said what. What their insights were into a certain Bible passage or a circumstance in the life of…well, like right now we’re in Daniel.”

She smiled. “One of your heroes if I remember correctly.” Cassidy’s gaze dropped to his crowded desk, then lifted to meet his eyes. “Are biblical commentaries at all like financial commentaries done by leading economists?”

“I would imagine so, except these commentaries have lasted through the centuries.” He gestured with his head toward the books piled about him. “Some of these are recent, some were written hundreds of years ago. They rarely disagree on the basic tenets of faith, but they often do on other matters. Each work is one man’s or men’s opinion.”

“Is that why you study so many different opinions?” she asked, rounding the desk. She looked over the books, then turned and leaned back against the desk.

He pushed away from the desk and rocked his chair back so he could look up at her. She looked so sweet with her oversize flannel shirt hanging to her knees and her gamine face so alive and questioning.

“That’s why,” he answered. “And it’s why Henry taught me to search the Scriptures for myself. I never take anyone’s word for what they say,” he explained, then felt a little wary as he caught the probing look in her eyes.

“How long have you been writing Henry’s sermons for him?”

Josh sat up straighter. “How did you—?”

“I started out doing research for Grandfather a few times when he had to give a speech to the board of directors. But he couldn’t put a speech of his own together from the notes I made because they were facts I thought were pertinent—opinions I agreed with.”

Josh relaxed a little, sure Cassidy wouldn’t hurt Henry by mentioning what she knew. He wondered if Irma had figured it out yet. “He just can’t do both sermons anymore. His eyes tire too easily. I do every other Wednesday’s Bible study service myself, and write the following Sunday’s message for him. By then, he’s able to do the next Wednesday’s by himself.”

“So then you prepare his Sunday message again and Wednesday’s so he can handle the following Sunday himself. Is that about the way it goes?”

“Not too much gets by you. Henry deserves any help I can give him. He and Irma saved my life as well as my sanity after I came to and had nothing to cling to but them. Henry shouldn’t have to step down as pastor until he’s ready to do it. He lives for his church and its parishioners.”

She nodded. “I can see that. So tell me about Daniel. What’s it about?”

“It’s one of the hardest books other than Revelations to study, and one of the most attacked because of how accurate the prophecy is. Many people try to say it was written later than it was. His prophecy is so accurate that he foretold to the day when Jesus Christ would ride triumphant into Jerusalem.”

She picked up the notes he’d finished on the third chapter of John for the following Wednesday night’s service. “’For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.’”

Cassie looked up, her eyes alive with hope and questions. He wanted more than to lead her to Jesus at that moment. He wanted to see that wonder and happiness every day of his life. He also knew it was impossible.

“Do you believe this?” she asked.

Josh pushed his chair back farther from where she stood so close. Too close. He was there to counsel her on life—not wish for her to become part of his. “I wouldn’t be sitting here writing sermons and reading seven different commentaries if I didn’t. Those two verses sort of say it all. It’s one of those basic tenets I spoke of earlier. But it doesn’t stop there. You can’t imagine the peace believing those words brings to your life. When there was nothing but fear and trial in my life, Henry taught me those words, and Jesus brought me the peace I desperately needed. I knew that if my eternity was certain, then I could endure anything until that day came.”

She had such an expressive face that he knew a question was coming. “Is everyone saved just because He came? That doesn’t seem right, with all the people running around these days doing whatever they want to do. So many people commit crimes, even to the point of mass murder.”

“Everyone who professes Him as savior is redeemed. Don’t forget, Jesus also said the path to salvation is a narrow one. Here—” Josh rummaged in the top drawer looking for the copy of the New Testament Henry had given him in those early days when his faith was new.

He looked up and something he didn’t remember feeling before slammed into him. At that moment he wanted nothing but to pull her onto his lap and just hold her. It made her nearness sheer torture to his lonely heart. Josh tried to shake off those feelings and went back to his search, moving to the next drawer down.