‘Oh. That makes sense, truly.’
All at once Riddmar blushed and looked away.
‘What’s wrong?’ Lilli said.
‘Er, ah, well, I was just – well, remembering somewhat my brother told me.’
‘About me?’
The boy blushed again, betraying the answer.
‘What was it?’ Lilli said. ‘Everyone knows I’m his mistress. You don’t need to be embarrassed.’
‘I know that.’ Riddmar looked down at the hard-packed dirt of the ward. ‘It was just an odd thing.’
‘What?’
‘Well.’ Riddmar began drawing lines in the dirt with the toe of one boot. ‘He said he hoped that I never loved a woman the way he loves you.’ He looked up. ‘I don’t understand that.’
‘He should be more careful of what he tells you.’
‘I’ve not made you angry, have I? I’m sorry. He sort of blurted it out one night when he wanted me to go away so he could – could visit you.’
‘I’m not angry. Just weary all of a sudden. Here, let’s go back to the great hall. I need to rest.’
As they were walking up to the main broch complex, Elyssa came trotting out, lifting her skirts free of the muck as she hurried across the cobbles. She saw them, waved, and waited for them to catch up to her.
‘There you are, your highness,’ Elyssa said to Riddmar.
‘I stayed in the dun,’ Riddmar said. ‘Just like you told me.’
‘My thanks for that. The captain of the fortguard’s looking for you. He wants to give you another lesson in swordcraft.’
‘Splendid!’ Riddmar broke into a grin.
‘He’s down at the royal stables, the one the silver daggers use when they’re here.’
‘My thanks.’ Riddmar made her a sketchy bow and did the same to Lilli. ‘I’ll be in his company if you have need of me.’
The young prince turned on his heel and ran off, heading across the ward to the stable complex. Elyssa watched him go with a shake of her head.
‘He’s a fiery young colt,’ Elyssa said at last. ‘Which is all to the good.’
‘He’ll need that spirit when he’s Gwerbret Cerrmor. He’s so awfully young. Shouldn’t there be a regent for him?’
‘Well, Prince Maryn will hold that rank formally, but of course, he’ll be here in Dun Deverry. No doubt one of the councillors will go.’
‘It would be splendid if Nevyn were appointed to Cerrmor. Then I could go with him.’
‘Away from the prince?’
‘Just that.’ Lilli laid her hand at her throat. ‘Don’t you think I know the grief I’m causing our princess?’
‘It’s not you who’s doing the causing. But it’s honourable of you to consider her grief. Not many lasses would.’ She paused, her mouth twisting. ‘None of the others did.’
‘No doubt. But it’s not just the princess. Sometimes I want naught more than to get free of Maryn.’
Elyssa made an odd little gasp – out of surprise, Lilli assumed.
‘Lyss, I feel like I’ve got a fever, and it’s burning me up. No doubt if I had to go to Cerrmor I’d weep and carry on for days, but then I could recover.’
‘I see.’ Elyssa studied her for a long moment. ‘You truly mean that, don’t you? You know, the prince is not a man to force himself upon a woman who refuses him.’
‘I know that. It’s just when I see him, I can’t think of anything but him. It’s horrid, actually.’
‘It must be, at that.’ Elyssa considered for a moment. ‘Would you like to see the princess?’
‘I would, truly. How is she?’
‘Much the same. Every little thing makes her weep, and she’s so tired, so tired. Not even her needlework distracts her, and she’s not been able to put one word into her book. A visit might cheer her a bit.’
They went inside and climbed the staircase up to the women’s hall, but Degwa met them at the door and motioned for silence.
‘She’s sleeping,’ Degwa whispered. ‘At last, and I’d not wake her.’
‘Of course not,’ Elyssa said. ‘Lilli can come again later.’
Degwa stepped out and shut the door to the hall behind her. For a moment they all stood together out in the corridor. Degwa cocked her head to one side and considered Lilli with a nasty little smile.
‘I gather,’ Degwa said, ‘that you have a brooch that once belonged to me.’
Elyssa waved a hand and made a little clucking sound, which Degwa ignored.
‘I do,’ Lilli said. ‘But you may have it back, if you’d like. I took it only because I thought you didn’t want it.’
‘Well, I don’t, at that.’ Degwa held her head high in the air. ‘The Boar’s leavings should go to a Boar, no doubt.’
Degwa stomped off, her wooden clogs loud on the stone floor, and hurried down the staircase. Elyssa rolled her eyes to the heavens.
‘Ye gods!’ Elyssa whispered. ‘My apologies, Lilli.’
‘There’s no need for you to apologize. Ah well, Decci is what she is, and that’s true for all of us.’
When she returned to her chamber, Lilli opened her wooden chest and found the brooch that had once been her mother’s. She sat down in her chair and held the silver knot up, letting it catch the sunlight. Why was she keeping it? she wondered. Her mother – a murderess, a sorceress who had used Lilli’s own gifts ruthlessly for the clan’s advantage. And yet Merodda had put out considerable effort to save Lilli from a horrible marriage; at times she had been kind as well, for no reason other than that Lilli was her daughter. A token for those good things, Lilli decided. That’s why I keep it.
Thinking of her blood kin made Lilli remember Braemys, her cousin, her half-brother, and once, too, her betrothed. Dark thoughts gathered, that he was likely to die in the coming fighting. But what if he won the battle? What if Maryn were killed instead? One or the other of them would have to die to settle the feud between them. Deverry men always settled feuds that way, with the death of one or the other. With the brooch clasped tight in one hand, she rose and walked to the window. Outside the sky blazed with gold light, streaked with pink and orange against the darkening blue.
‘Dear Goddess,’ Lilli whispered. ‘Let Maryn be the victor. I beg you.’