Pushing The Limits

He didn’t want to have to think, because she felt so good in his arms, but he lifted his head before the push of lust drove him any further. He was afraid to speak and break the magic of this moment. Of this night.

In that moment he had his answer. He had to talk to her. This woman wasn’t his for just one night. They were both on the Bar T Ranch working at the Cronus facility for the next six weeks.

He couldn’t screw her and then pretend nothing had happened, because she was different. She made him different.

He put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, thinking of anything that would cool the lust raging through him. He couldn’t just be; he needed to be better.

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

He was healthy as a horse and tested often for everything under the sun. He was pretty sure that Jessie was healthy, as well, so at issue for him was the fact that he’d be leaving for a long-term mission in space. He didn’t want to leave behind any surprises. Not because he got carried away in the lake with Jessie.

“What?”

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

She wedged her arm between them and he let her go. His body was cooling down rapidly now that she was a few feet from him.

“I am. But damn, how did that escalate so quickly?” she asked. “I’m not... I can’t... I... Fuck. I’m sorry, Hemi. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m not really myself.”

He nodded.

Be cool.

But he didn’t feel cool. He was on fire for her. Obviously her reaction was helping to give him some perspective, but another part of him wondered why something that had felt so damned right to him was making her run away.

She did that a lot, he realized.

She functioned best by retreating when she didn’t want to deal with something—or, more specifically, someone.

Him.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I know it’s not okay and I turned you on and then—”

“We turned each other on, Jessie. I don’t know how things got that hot that quickly, but they did. No denying it.”

She nibbled on her lower lip and he closed his eyes. Watching her was only keeping him in a state of semi-arousal. He turned and waded toward the dock. He heard her swimming behind him but didn’t allow himself to look at her until he’d forced his wet body into the gym pants he’d discarded minutes ago.

He could tell she was behind him, getting dressed, and only when he heard her sit down did he turn to face her. She had retreated inside of herself again and he knew he had to let her go.

She stood up as he reached for his shoes, and their hands bumped. They were so close to each other, he couldn’t help himself. He put his hands on her jaw, feeling the wet strands of her hair against the backs. He traced the shell of her ear as he leaned in and kissed her. Not with raging passion but with affection. He kissed her with all the longing in his soul because walking away from her wouldn’t be as easy as he knew it should be.

They’d just met, but it didn’t feel like that. He wanted to say he knew her but he knew only what she’d let him see—and probably a few things she hadn’t meant to reveal.

“I’m sorry things got carried away.”

“I’m not. I thought...well, I’m not ready for this, Hemi. I have a class to teach and you’re going to be one of my students and...”

“You don’t need one of your pupils all hot for teacher. I get it.”

She put her hands on his chest and then slid them around his waist, hugging him close and resting her head right over his heart. He struggled to keep his heartbeat from going wild. He didn’t want to reveal that holding her made him hot.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulled away from him and picked up her shoes, walking up the dock and toward the instructors’ cabins. He followed her. His father had drilled it into him that a gentleman always saw a lady home.

He kept his distance, though, because he knew she wanted to be alone.

He’d let her go. He was here for a reason. His sole determination and focus should be on getting onto the crew of the first Cronus mission.

But as she climbed the two steps to the porch of her cabin and unlocked the door, she glanced back over her shoulder at him. He stood there. Waiting.

There wasn’t anything for either of them to say.

He didn’t understand, couldn’t explain it, but swimming tonight had been the closest thing he’d felt to getting into a rocket and being shot into space.

A woman had made him feel that.

A woman who wanted to keep her distance from him.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Hemi.”

She went inside and he waited until he saw a light before turning back toward his own quarters. He glanced up at the moon, seeing how it followed him all the way back to his room. He wanted to blame his lack of sleep on the brightness of the moon, but he knew it was Jessie who kept him awake.

4 (#u9e2e8315-e547-5b64-844c-8125b054a931)

JESSIE WOKE UP before dawn on her first day of teaching. Her internal clock always got her out of bed at 5 a.m. local time. She made herself a cup of herbal tea and took it out on the deck of her cabin.

She’d trained high-endurance athletes and adventurers who wanted to pit themselves against nature, but this job felt different.

She took a sip of her tea as she settled onto the wooden chair her father had built for her when she turned sixteen. He’d painted it a bright blue, and though time had faded the paint, it was still her favorite chair. She shipped it with her possessions wherever she was currently calling home.

Propping her feet up on the railing, she looked out over the ranch lands. From her vantage point she saw a trail and the tall cedar trees with their twisting roots that were prominent on this section of the land. The trail led to the facility where she would meet her new trainees.

Well, officially.

She’d met most of them at the party last night.

Including Hemi.

His face had haunted her sleep and his questions still drifted through her mind. She wasn’t used to being aggressively pursued by a man. It had been a long time since she’d left her rarified life of risk and adventure, and been back here in the so-called real world. Except it had never felt real to her. She’d always floated along, as she had in the water last night, observing. And running away when things got too real.

But after this morning...she wanted to change. She wanted to feel something, though a part of her was very much afraid that she couldn’t.

She’d seen breathtaking wonders in the world and done most of the things people put on their extreme bucket lists. And a part of her had lost the wonder that had been her constant companion as a child.