He had no idea how, but he was going to fix this. He was going to stop giving her money, stop assuaging his guilt with presents and indulgence. He was going spend time with her, get to know her and teach her those hard but wonderful life lessons his grandparents had taught him.
And maybe, along the way, heâd relearn some of those lessons himself.
CHAPTER TWO
Two months later
SILVERDELL, COLORADO, HADNâT changed much in seventeen years. Penny had noticed that last year, when she came back as the dude ranch idea was first being considered, and then again when her sister Rowena got married.
But on this visit, she was particularly struck by the snow-globe effectâperhaps because her own world had changed so dramatically. She drove slowly down Elk Avenue, noting how many stores remained from her childhood, and how many of the replacement shops had maintained the feel of their predecessors.
August. Early fall in Silverdell. She remembered it so well. And here it all was. Same big tubs of orange and gold chrysanthemums on the sidewalk, same colorful awnings over shovel-and ski-jacket-filled windows that warned of the winter to come.
Same park square, roiling with what might easily have been the same laughing children.
She slowed now, watching them kick piles of leaves into tiny yellow storms and chase each other, squealing, until someone fell, then got up, giggling, with grass stains on elbows and chin.
She and her sisters, Rowena and Bree, had rarely been part of all that. In fact, she used to watch those mischievous kids and wonder where they got the courage to be so naughty. Didnât their fathers have tempers, too?
Their fathers...
She knew she ought to go to the ranch. Or at least by her new duplex.
But she knew she wasnât ready. It didnât make any sense, but she needed more time to come to terms with being in Silverdell againâand with the big changes that were coming.
It didnât help to remind herself that they were changes sheâd wanted. Changes sheâd chosen. Suddenly the changes seemed more than âbig.â They seemed crazy. Risky. Terrifying.
Annoyed with herself, but unable to break through the emotional paralysis, she found a parking space and headed into the ice-cream shop. She was hungry and nervous. Even before she had grown a full set of teeth sheâd learned that a banana split could make everything better.
Her father and Ruth would both have been horrifiedâice cream before lunch? Instead of lunch? But they werenât here. And she wasnât a child. Surely this one tiny act of independent thinking wasnât too much for her, even today.
Baby steps.
âHey!â The string-bean-shaped young man behind the counter tossed down his magazine and stood at attention, apparently delighted to see her. The shop was empty, so maybe he really was. âWhat can I get you?â
She glanced at the calligraphy on the menu over his head. âIâd love a banana split. Double whipped cream.â
âAwesome!â He grinned as if sheâd said the magic words and began pulling out ingredients. âItâs getting nippy out, and we donât get much business once it turns cold. We sell hot chocolate, but it takes a lot of hot chocolates to pay the rent, you know?â
She smiled, thinking how close her calculations had been when she decided how much rent sheâd need to ask for the other side of her new duplex.
âYeah,â she said. âI know.â
âAbout a hundred million,â the young man said, inserting his knife into a banana as carefully as if he were performing surgery. âPlus, thereâs no art to making a cup of cocoa. Not like a good banana split.â He arranged the slices into the curved boat, tossing away a couple of bruised bits. âNow this is something you can get creative with.â
A warmhearted ice-cream artist who worried about making the rent but couldnât force himself to serve a bruised banana. She made a mental note to come in as often as she could. Her sweet tooth didnât know seasons.
She smiled. See? She hadnât taken a single bite, and she was already feeling better.
âGo ahead and grab a seat,â he said. âIâm Danny. This is my shop. Iâll make you something special, and bring it to you.â
She arranged herself by the window, dropped her purse on the other side of the table and pulled out her legal pad and pen. Maybe if she worked on her list, she would retrieve her courage, and she could head to Bell River.
She flipped over a couple of pages, filled to the margins with practical information about who to call if the water wasnât hooked up, or the electricity went wonky. All that was important, but not right now.
The third page... Thatâs the one that mattered. She tapped her pen against her lips and read what sheâd written so far.
The Risk-it List.
The very words looked good, in her favorite turquoise ink, against the yellow lined paper. Last night, when sheâd stoppedânot wanting to arrive in Silverdell after darkâshe had worked on the list. Right before she fell asleep, sheâd doodled a small bluebird in the upper right corner of her paper.
The bluebird of happiness. Thatâs what Ro used to call it. Ro and Bree used to take Penny âhuntingâ in the woods, with butterfly nets that supposedly were magical, nets that could catch the bluebird that would make everything at Bell River right.
Obviously, theyâd never captured one. But Penny had drawn birds, photographed them, been fascinated by them, ever since. This one was fat and contented, and smiled at the list below him.
The Risk-it List. Sheâd decided it should be twelve items long. She had six entries so far, and two check marks.
Sell town house. Check.
Buy place in Silverdellâ Donât let Bree and Ro overrule. Donât tell Bree and Ro until purchase complete! Check.
Host a party...wearing a costume.
Learn to juggle.
Learn to dance.
Cut hair.
Seven...Seven...
Penny chewed on the end of her penâa habit sheâd never been able to breakâand tried to make up her mind what number seven should be.
Ben had been right, of course. When the shock of the wasp spray incident had worn off, a strange pride took its place. She felt empowered. Why shouldnât she? Sheâd prevailed over a big, hulking intruder. She might have been terrified, but she hadnât panicked. Sheâd kept her head, and sheâd driven him awayâwithout anyone getting seriously hurt.
Sheâd decided that very day to start the list. And before any doubt could set in, sheâd accomplished numbers one and two. Sell the town houseâalmost frighteningly easy. And buy a small house in Silverdellâmuch scarier, as she didnât have time to see it for herself but had to trust Jenny Gladiola, Silverdellâs longtime real estate agent.
But sheâd accomplished both, and now here she was, less than three miles from Bell River Ranch. Here to stay. Here to call Silverdell home again, after all these years.
A shiver passed through her. Thanks to Jennyâs discretion, no one in the family yet knew she was in town. Jenny had been a Dellian real estate agent forever, and sheâd kept her career flourishing, through good markets and bad, by knowing how to keep her mouth shut.
For now Penny was safe. However, telling Bree and Rowena absolutely had to be next.
Her sisters had been begging her for months to come live at the dude ranch with them. They could use the help, they said. They needed an art teacher, they said. But she knew the truthâthey were worried about her. They wanted to slip her into their nest, straight from the nest Ruth had kept her in.
No one wanted her to learn to fly.
But, by golly, she was going to learn anyhow.