Single Mama's Got More Drama

“I guess I can see your point. But still…”

“No buts. If I do this, I’m not only letting myself be exploited, I’m letting my daughter be exploited. And I’ve got to protect Rayna at all costs.”

There was a soft sigh on the other end of the line. “I didn’t think about that. Still, it’s pretty cool that a producer wants to make a movie about your life, even if it’s not going to happen.”

“I guess,” I agreed noncommittally.

“So what’s going on with Debbie?” Alaina asked, referring to the ownership of the agency. “Is she still screwing Jason?”

“Actually, I’m not sure about that. She hasn’t mentioned him, so maybe that’s a good sign. I hope it means she’s decided to stop her affair and concentrate on her family.”

“You never know with Debbie.” Debbie and I had been friends since I’d started working for her, but we didn’t see eye to eye about her affair.

“This is true. Other than that, nothing much new here. Other than we all miss you and can’t wait for you to return.”

“I’m hoping next week. The doc says my ribs should be healed by then.” Alaina paused. “But enough about me. How’s Lewis?”

At the mention of his name, my stomach tightened. Not exactly the appropriate reaction, considering he was my fiancé.

“He’s all right. I guess.”

“You guess?” Alaina asked. “Haven’t you spoken to him?”

“We’ve talked.”

“When was the last time?” Alaina asked, her tone saying she didn’t believe me.

“A couple days ago.”

“Mmm-hmm. Are you avoiding your fiancé?”

“No.” And I didn’t like the way Alaina had said fiancé— as though she were mocking me.

“When are you gonna tell him?” she asked.

“Tell him what?”

“That you don’t want to marry him.”

“I—” I stopped abruptly, unsure what to say. I had accepted Lewis’s engagement ring, which had been part and parcel of his offer to help me come up with enough cash to get Tassie off of my back.

Lewis’s proposal had trapped me between a rock and a hard place. I wanted—no, needed—his help. But I didn’t quite know how to ask for his financial help and turn down his proposal. I’d loved Lewis once, but he had been a total player. I couldn’t have been more surprised when he told me he’d help me with my Tassie problem—and then had proposed.

According to Lewis, he knew now that he loved me and that I was the only woman for him. He was done with his cheating ways and wanted to make a life with me.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh, sorry. What did you say?”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Alaina said.

“Ally, you know I love talking to you, but I’ve got a ton of work on my desk.”

“You can’t avoid this issue forever. Pretty soon, Lewis is going to start talking about setting a wedding date, and if you don’t love him, don’t want to be with him, you have to tell him. You can’t marry him just because he’s got the financial means for you to fight Tassie.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Ally.”

“All right, girl. But think about what I said.”

Think about it? I could do nothing but.

Like Alaina had said, Lewis was the only one who could help me fight Tassie. And I certainly didn’t want to seem as though I would use him only for his cash. How could I turn down Lewis’s proposal? Especially since he claimed to love me?

I stared at the photo of me and Chaz again, then put it back in the desk drawer. It was after Alaina had been attacked by her ex that I’d gotten a new perspective. That maybe passionate love was overrated. Passionate love led to seriously painful heartache.

The kind I was suffering now.

I’d come to the realization that it was probably far better to have a marriage based on friendship and respect. Sexual chemistry—like what Lewis and I had once shared—was a bonus.

Not that there was any sexual chemistry right now. Try as I might to convince myself of the non-passionate-marriage argument, I was still grieving over Chaz, and until I’d gotten over him, I knew I couldn’t share my body with Lewis.

But perhaps some time soon…

Even as I tried to convince myself of that, my mind wandered to the photo of me and Chaz, and that happy time we had shared.

And I knew in my heart that I wanted that back.

Wanted him back.

4

I put Chaz out of my mind and concentrated on work. It was the only way. Actually, it was the best way. Focusing on work made me forget about the grief I was feeling in my heart.

At least temporarily.

There was still no call from my sister, but I took her lack of contact as good news. Trust me, if she had been planning to see a divorce lawyer, she would have called and made me join her.

Thank God she hadn’t. I didn’t need her drama on top of my own. Already, I’d missed out on taking Rayna to the zoo because of Nikki.

I glanced at the wall clock. It was almost three-thirty. I would try to leave a little early today, head home, get Rayna, then take her to the lake so we could feed the ducks. There was a spot in Coconut Grove we’d been a few times, and it was always a fun experience.

My daughter needed fun right now. We both did.

And she needed to know that even if the man she’d known as her father wasn’t coming back, I would always be there for her.

I got up, stretched my body, then strolled to the window. As was typical every day during the summer months in South Florida, we’d have an afternoon downpour. I welcomed the short showers as they cooled things down. The sun always returned after the rain, and right now, it was shining brightly on downtown Miami.

My phone rang. I turned around and took three long strides back to my desk and snatched up the receiver before the phone could ring a third time.