Uncertain Destiny

He frowned. ‘You’ll probably be a little sore tomorrow,’ he warned sympathetically. ‘But as long as you feel OK now?’ Still he hesitated about repeating that fiery splendour.

‘I feel fine,’ she said gruffly. ‘I feel better than fine,’ she added determinedly. ‘And I want you again, too.’

He smiled his satisfaction with her answer, and it made him look more rakish than ever, his hair tousled, the eye-patch giving him a devilish look.

She tentatively touched his cheek near the black patch. ‘What happened?’ She frowned her concern.

‘A dissatisfied client,’ he dismissed shruggingly, bending to move his lips against her throat.

Her frown deepened, even though his lips sent a delicious thrill down the length of her spine. ‘I thought you always won?’

‘Not my dissatisfied client,’ Justin gently mocked. ‘I made sure he was put away.’

Her fingers stilled against his cheek. ‘But if he was put in prison …’

‘They all get out eventually,’ Justin explained tautly. ‘I do my job, Caroline,’ he added softly as she shivered in reaction. ‘This man just happened to believe there was something personal in my prosecution of him. When he got out of prison he paid me a little visit.’ He frowned.

She was still trembling. ‘Where is he now?’

Justin’s mouth twisted. ‘Back in prison, for attacking me this time.’ He shrugged dismissively. ‘It really isn’t important.’

‘But he—he blinded you in one eye!’ she gasped.

He nodded. ‘And it isn’t a pretty sight. But then knife wounds never are,’ he murmured almost to himself. ‘But let’s not talk about that now, Caroline.’ His gaze moved over her hungrily. ‘I want to make love to you again. And this time we might even make it as far as the bedroom,’ he added self-derisively.

Caroline blushed as she looked around them and realised they were still in the dining-room.

Justin’s mouth quirked. ‘Don’t look so embarrassed, Caro,’ he teased throatily. ‘At least it wasn’t on the table!’

He carried her through to his bedroom, beginning to make love to her again, more slowly this time as neither of them were so feveredly desperate, but it was just as intense, just as shattering, the two of them lying damply together as their hands still moved caressingly over each other, unable to stop the touching.

As the night passed swiftly by, Justin was indefatigable, making love to her again and again, groaning his protest when she had to leave him in the morning to go to work.

He watched her as she dressed in the gown that seemed so out of place in the brightness of the sunny Sunday morning. After the intimacies they had shared it was a little ridiculous to feel shy in front of him, but the way he watched her so steadily unnerved her, and she heaved a silent sigh of relief as she zipped up the back of her gown.

‘Can you be available on Thursday?’ He sat back against the coffee-coloured pillows, his chest bare as the matching sheet lay draped across his thighs. He was so completely male, his body all hard muscle, and he knew how to use that body to the satisfaction of both of them. ‘If not next Thursday—–’ he frowned at her silence ‘—it will have to wait a couple of weeks; I’m going to be very busy until then.’

Caroline suddenly realised what he had said, shaking her head to clear it of the sensual spell this man seemed to exert over her without even trying.

What did he mean, could she be available next Thursday, if not it would have to wait a couple of weeks? She knew she had behaved like a wanton the night before, but she had thought the passion more than returned; she didn’t expect him to try and fit her in among all of his other social engagements now that he had taken what he seemed to want!

Her face paled as she realised what a fool she had been to imagine that what was between them was special. How many other women had told themselves the same thing, only to realise that what was love on their side was merely lust on the side of the man?

She was twenty-three years old and had received more than her fair share of sexual proposals over the years, mainly from medical students who believed a nurse was fair game, but she had behaved like a fool last night, had become totally infatuated with a man who saw taking a woman to bed as no more than another conquest he had to make.

A sob caught in her throat as she turned away to search for her shoes where she had placed them on the floor, tears blinding her. She stiffened as she felt Justin’s nakedness behind her as he pulled her back against him.

‘Don’t you want to marry me?’ His voice was silkily soft against her ear.

Marry? She turned slowly to face him, her eyes wide, searching the derisive amusement of his face. His derision seemed to be self-directed, as if he, too, found the prospect of marriage surprising, even if he were resigned to it.

‘Destiny played a dirty trick on me three weeks ago,’ he drawled ruefully. ‘The moment I saw you I wanted you,’ he told her calmly. ‘And after only one night with you I know that no other woman has ever matched me in passion the way you do.’

She blinked, still dazed that he had meant he wanted to marry her next Thursday. ‘You want to marry me because—because we make love well together?’ she said disbelievingly, the tender ache in her body reminding her of the night that had just passed, of just how well they made love.

‘Not the sort of marriage proposal you were ever expecting to hear, was it?’ he mocked, cupping her chin to caress her cheek lightly with the pad of his thumb. ‘But it isn’t just how well your body fits to mine,’ he said ruefully. ‘It’s because I know, realised as I waited for you the last three weeks, that I don’t ever want any other man to have you. Even less so now.’ His smile was gentle at her self-conscious blush at his reference to her virginity. ‘No, I’m not in love with you,’ he seemed to read the uncertain question in her eyes, ‘I’ve already told you my opinion of that emotion,’ he scorned. ‘But I do know this wanting isn’t going to go away in a hurry, that it probably never will, and that I want my claim on you to be a public one. Is that going to be enough for you?’ He looked down at her steadily, his gaze narrowed to a silver slit.

Because she was too much in love with him to say no, it had to be enough.

They had been married four days later, Justin having no family of his own to invite, only her parents, her brother and sister—Simon and Sonia—and a couple of her friends in attendance. Until he met her Justin really had been a wolf that preferred to walk completely alone.

Almost seven weeks of marriage hadn’t seen too many changes in her husband. When they made love they were completely attuned, but the rest of the time Justin chose to hold himself aloof, rarely talking about his work to her, only agreeing to socialise with her family because he knew she expected it of him.

And now he seemed to think she had conducted some sort of experiment with Tony in between his proposal and their wedding, to see if she and Justin really were so unique in their passion for each other, and that the baby she carried was the result of that experiment. She hadn’t needed to make love with another man to be sure of that!

The baby she carried was Justin’s, no matter what he believed about his being sterile. My God, why hadn’t he told her he believed he could never give her children? It wouldn’t have changed her decision to marry him, but he should have told her, damn it! What sort of man married a woman without telling her something as important as that? A man like Justin, she acknowledged dully. He didn’t want children; why should he bother to explain that he could never give her any?

Dear God, where did they go from here? What were they going to ‘decide’ about the baby today?

She sat up straight against the pillows as a soft knock sounded on the door, and forced a tight smile to her lips as Mrs Avery put her head around the door, before entering with a bright smile as she saw Caroline was awake.

‘Mr de Wolfe told me to let you sleep this morning.’ She put a tray of coffee down on the bedside table. ‘But I thought I heard you moving around a few minutes ago.’

Justin’s ‘unobtrusive’ housekeeper had turned out to be this friendly little woman with warm blue eyes. She had confided in Caroline shortly after she moved in as Justin’s wife that the Mrs part of her name was merely a cursory title, that she had never married but felt it was necessary to be a Mrs in the job she chose to do. Mrs Avery was almost sixty, and Caroline sincerely doubted that Justin would ever feel the inclination to chase her around the apartment, but if the other woman felt happier being thought a married woman then she wasn’t about to spoil that for her. The two of them had become firm friends over the weeks, Mrs Avery treating Caroline just like the daughter she had never had. She had no doubt the housekeeper was going to be thrilled when she was told about the baby. But she dared not tell anyone about that yet, not until she had sorted things out with Justin. He had to be convinced that the baby was his!

‘I have to be on duty in just over an hour.’ She accepted the coffee gratefully.

Justin had been very amenable about her continuing with her career, although she had cut down on her hours slightly, knowing Justin wouldn’t appreciate her working late into the evening or during the night. She couldn’t help wondering now, a little bitterly, if he hadn’t encouraged her to continue with her career because he had known she would never have children to occupy her time. Children of his, that was.

Bitter reproach on her part wasn’t going to help this situation, she inwardly reproved. She had to try and look at this from Justin’s point of view. For years he had believed himself sterile, had probably come to terms with that fact; of course he was going to find it difficult to believe now that she was carrying his child. Perhaps the hours he had spent alone in bed last night, the first time they had slept apart since their marriage, had given him a chance to think, to realise that a mistake just could have been made.

Yes, she was sure that by the time he got home this evening he would have realised she could never have made love with any other man but him, that the child had to be his. His decision that he didn’t want children had probably been a defence mechanism because he didn’t believe he could ever have any. By the time he got home this evening they would be able to discuss all this rationally.

Some of the despair left her as she went to work on that happier note, putting her troubles from her mind as for the rest of the day she concentrated on her patients.

She was going to miss her work on the wards once she had the baby. Being a nurse had been the only thing she had ever wanted to do, all her educational qualifications gained for just that reason. It had been a wonderful five years, but no doubt the baby would help compensate for what she lost. She wanted this baby so much, wanted to give Justin the son he had thought never to have.