Stone grew still as he remembered the one exception. Nine months ago, Dahlia had decided she wanted another baby—but he’d had to refuse.
Something else she’d wanted that he couldn’t, in good conscience, give to her. Because there was no way in hell that he’d bring another child into this world, to love it, care for it...
And then lose it.
The melting ice around Stone’s heart slowly hardened.
Dahlia watched as Stone drove the rest of the way to the ranch, both hands now gripping the steering wheel. Watched the way he’d withdrawn, once again, into that lonely, private place deep inside himself.
Brooke’s death had absolutely destroyed him, she acknowledged, as fear and doubt swept through her. He wasn’t going to let her help him. And here she was, with only two weeks left to complete her mission!
Two weeks—when she’d been trying to get through to him for twelve long, painful months.
But Stone’s will, as always, was one of pure steel.
How could she possibly make him believe in anything ever again? How could she make him see what a terrific father he was? And that what he needed to do now, most of all, was to trust his feelings when dealing with Field. How could she hope to restore his faith in himself, to trust his own good judgment again?
But that was her mission from Basil.
Oh, dear, how was she to accomplish this particular miracle all by herself?
Dahlia knew how hard it was to let Field be a normal little boy, to protect him without controlling his every move, to love him without smothering him—but Stone wasn’t even trying.
He was so wrapped up in grief and guilt over Brooke’s death, and fear over losing Field, that he wasn’t listening to anyone.
She straightened her shoulders. She wanted so much to be a good angel, to live up to the trust that Basil had placed in her. But Stone—he wasn’t the same man she’d married. He’d always wanted more, craved more, fought for more than anyone she’d ever met. But the fight had gone out of him.
And so had all the love.
Dahlia could still feel the warmth of his fingers around hers, even though he was no longer holding her hand. But his touch lingered in her mind far longer than she cared to admit.
Memories tapped at her heart.
The gentleness that had an unexpected way of peeking through Stone’s oh-so-tough outdoorsy personality. The startling chemistry that had sprung to life upon meeting face-to-face the first time. And the way the sexual attraction had grown and deepened through the years.
Stone was more than her husband. He was her best friend.
Which made his...his almost studied emotional distance doubly hard to take. Stone had preferred to live in an emotional vacuum since Brooke’s death, to become isolated from pain—but he was forcing the rest of them to live that way, as well.
Dahlia’s gaze repeatedly strayed toward Stone’s side of the car. It was hard to believe that the man who had once made her nerve endings sing with joy could cause her heart to ache so much. But when Brooke died, he’d closed off the part of his life that had to do with being happy. He’d also, by all appearances, closed and locked the part of his heart that had to do with love. And he had no desire to open either one.
Her sigh was soft, and with an effort she pulled herself out of her thoughts. She had work to do, and she was going to do it. But where was she to start?
“I remember the morning we brought Brooke home from the hospital,” she said brightly. She desperately wanted to gain back some of the closeness that had vanished when Stone had retreated behind one of his moods. “She was wearing that little denim dress embroidered with little red hearts on the collar...”
“And you tied a red ribbon around her little bald head.”
Dahlia was surprised at the way he joined in. She wasn’t used to talking about Brooke and having him respond. Usually he tried to change the subject.
“She wasn’t bald,” Dahlia protested, laughing. “She had hair in the back almost long enough to put into a ponytail.”
Stone hesitated and then his words came out sort of gruff and tender. “She was the prettiest little thing I’d ever seen in my life.”
Tears backed up in her throat. Especially when Stone reached out and took her hand in his again. “Was she as pretty as Field?”
“Guys aren’t pretty.” But he sent her a fleeting grin. “Field was a rugged little guy even on his first day of life.” Then his grin broadened. “All six pounds of him.”
Dahlia saw the light in his gray eyes just seconds before he turned his attention back to the road ahead. But he squeezed her hand in his, and she squeezed back. And then she had a thought.
“Why don’t you have any pictures of Field during his first year?”
“What do you mean?” Stone sped up to pass a car.
“You only have four or five pictures of him—”
“We’ve got dozens of albums, crammed full of pictures of both kids.” Stone was back in his own lane now and flashed her a puzzled, questioning look.
“But all those were taken after we met. After we were married,” Dahlia explained. “I meant pictures of Field coming home from the hospital. Do you realize there are no pictures of your son with his mother?”
He looked at her. “You’re his mother.”
She smiled gently at him, touched by the statement. For Stone, his first wife and the mother of his child just... no longer existed. Not in his mind. And certainly not in his heart. “But why didn’t you take more?” she asked him. “Field was your firstborn son. I would have thought you’d have taken tons of pictures.”
Stone shrugged and turned his attention back to the road. But he didn’t evade the question. “I don’t have a reason. I guess I was just too busy taking care of him to bother with taking pictures.”
And too hurt.
Dahlia suddenly cringed inside at the thought of what her completing her mission would mean for Stone. He’d already been abandoned by one woman, and he’d never understood her reason.
And now, if things worked out, Dahlia would also abandon him. Would he understand? Would he understand she just had to be with Brooke? No matter what the cost?
And Field...oh, that poor, poor child. Dahlia’s heart wrenched with guilt at just the thought of leaving him. He’d already been abandoned by one mother. What would her leaving do to his ability to trust?
That was why she had to get Stone and Field’s relationship on solid ground. Before it was time for her to leave.
“I’m sorry now that I didn’t take more pictures of Field his first year,” Stone was saying, and she struggled to pay attention. “Kids grow up so fast and then they’re...gone,” he ended quietly.
Dahlia watched as he struggled with some painful memory. She said gently, “Field’s growing every day. It’s hard to believe he’s already ten years old.”
“Yeah.”
“Soon he’ll be in high school and dating some cute little cheerleader.”
Stone cleared his throat. “More than likely some little cowgirl in a rodeo.”
“All he talks about is entering rodeo roughstock events when he’s old enough.” Dahlia saw the life drain from his eyes and added softly, “He wants so very much to be like you when he grows up.”
“I know.” Profound weariness settled over his lean features.