In Too Deep

It didn’t matter that no one else blamed him for the accident that had killed his brother, his brother’s girlfriend and his best friend. He blamed himself and always would.

He should have done more. Not swerved to miss the deer that had jumped out onto the dark country road late that night. He should have been able to recover from the skid the car went into. Should have prevented the car from slamming into the guardrail at sixty miles an hour.

Everyone told him it was a miracle he’d walked away from the crash. And they weren’t wrong. He’d had several broken bones, a concussion and various cuts and bruises.

Bethany had died on impact. Chase minutes later on the side of the road. Kyle...he’d survived for several hours.

Knox would never forget standing beside his brother, watching EMTs try to save his life. The most helpless Knox had ever been. A sensation he never wanted to experience again.

“Your brother needs better taste in cars.”

Pushing away from the railing, Knox let his gaze sweep across Avery. “My brother’s dead,” he said, his words blunt and infused with every drop of remembered pain, even if he hadn’t meant to unleash it on her.

Avery’s pale eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open.

He should feel...something for pulling that kind of reaction. Satisfaction, at least. It was what he’d been going for with the stark statement.

Instead, he simply wanted away—from her and the unpleasant memories she’d unwittingly called up.

Turning, he walked in the opposite direction, leaving her with the pod of dolphins that had decided to ghost through the water with the ship.

* * *

KNOX’S WORDS RANG through her head. Okay, more like clanged. But how was she to know his brother was dead? Or that her question could cause that haunted, hunted look in his eyes?

She felt like crap, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. Apologize, but she’d really done nothing wrong. And something told her saying anything else would make the situation worse. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it.

She’d seen Knox standing at the railing looking up at the stars and had wanted to get things on track. She really needed Knox to...if not like her then at least leave her alone enough to do her job. Or not do her job.

At the thought, a heavy pit settled into her stomach. It made her sick. Instead of making things better, somehow she’d managed to irritate him more.

It was clearly time to regroup.

Avery headed back to her cabin. She’d been surprised to be assigned her own considering the lack of space, but it would make things easier. She was exhausted from traveling and her body was starting to crash from the ups and downs of the day.

She forced herself to unpack—the cases with her supplies and equipment had already been unloaded—putting all of her clothes away before beginning her nightly ritual. There was something about getting her space in order that always soothed her.

Maybe it was from all the years living out of suitcases. Or a holdover from trying to find a sense of security when the only thing she’d been able to control was her immediate environment.

Her father’s work had taken them to some amazing places—Africa, Egypt, Thailand, South America, Australia. She’d experienced different cultures. Could understand five languages, though she wasn’t fluent in all of them.

She now owned a house in Texas, but she spent more time away from it—consulting, working, giving speeches or preparing papers, occasionally teaching—than there. While she liked it well enough and always enjoyed going back, she wasn’t tied to home the way most people were.

Her routine grounded her, though. No matter where she laid her head, it was always the same. Brushing her teeth, taking off her makeup, preparing her clothes for the morning...

She could barely keep her eyes open by the time she switched off her light and crawled beneath the blanket. Tonight she didn’t even bother cracking open the book she’d brought with her. Instead, she was asleep within minutes.

And awake again two hours later when a loud noise startled her.

Avery jackknifed straight up in bed, her body responding before her brain had fully kicked in. With bleary eyes, she glanced around, trying to figure out where she was and what had woken her. It only took a few seconds to realize the disturbance had come from outside her room. On the Amphitrite.

Loud music. Laughter. Someone yelling.

And, there it was, the thump of some idiot slamming into the wall in the hallway outside her door.

Throwing a silk robe on over the cotton shorts and tank top she normally wore to bed, Avery yanked open her door just as another down the hall slammed shut. At least the drunken fool had made it to his bed.

But the noise. In the hallway it was so loud, the ship practically vibrated to the thump of the music.

She’d never get back to sleep.

With a huff, Avery tightened the knot on her robe and headed toward the commotion. A door down the hall stood wide-open. Inside it appeared the entire crew had congregated.

The space wasn’t huge. The ship was a working vessel, so most areas onboard were needed for their mission. It was clear this room served multiple purposes. The crew had eaten their dinner there earlier in the day. Now everyone was scattered about—lounging in chairs, sitting on top of tables, playing poker, drinking beer, listening to music.

Someone, she’d guess Catherine, their cook, had put out several bowls of munchies and a few dips.

Everyone’s faces were bright with happiness and laughter. She stood on the edge of the group and for a minute jealousy twisted her gut. She’d never had this, not even at college.

Especially not at college. She’d been too young and shy to really fit in with the other undergrads. Graduating high school early, she’d started college at sixteen.

By the time she’d reached grad school, she was so focused on her goals and burned-out that trying to fit in had seemed like a lost cause. She’d simply drawn into herself and set her sights on completing her program as soon as possible.

She had a few close friends now, but they were people like her. Quiet, professional, contained. When she was in Galveston, they’d get together for dinner, wine and some conversation. Nothing like this.

Avery’s gaze swept across the sea of people, most wearing shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops. There was nothing about this group that said contained.

They looked like they were relaxed. Enjoying themselves. A bright spurt of envy bloomed inside her chest.

Shaking off the unproductive reaction, Avery reminded herself why she’d ventured out. Scanning the crowd, she tried to find Asher. Maybe he’d be willing to tone down the party so she could sleep. He’d seemed like a nice enough guy the couple times they’d met.

But instead of finding him, her gaze locked with Knox’s. From across the room she felt the unexpected zing. Once she saw him, she couldn’t seem to look away, even though her brain was screaming at her to.

Pushing away from the table he’d been leaning against, Knox set his bottle on the scratched surface. Then he was striding across the room toward her. He didn’t have to say anything, the people between them simply moved out of his way.

“Welcome to the party. Have to say I’m surprised you joined us.” His dark eyes studied her. “In your silk robe.”

Avery fought the urge to grab the lapels and pull them tighter over her chest.

Luckily, his words jump-started her brain and reminded her exactly why she was there.

“Would you mind turning down the music? I’m trying to sleep and it’s very loud.”

“Sorry, doc. I promised the crew a party tonight since we’re going to be pulling twelve-and fourteen-hour days once we get to the site.”

The party. The music. The nickname. Having this man stare down at her out of those smooth brown eyes, delicious and warm...it was wreaking havoc with her brain. Why did she always have the impression Knox was judging her?

And why did it bother her so much that she was afraid he didn’t like what he saw?