Loop

“Stop being so responsible.”

Hideyuki took a showy swig and wiped his mouth. “I guess when a kid’s got a dad like me, he’s got to have his shit together, huh?”

With an audible gulp Hideyuki drained his second glass, and in no time he’d finished the bottle.

“I’ll tell you, this stuff tastes best when I’m looking at you, kiddo.”

For his part, Kaoru didn’t mind keeping his father company when he was drinking. His father took such obvious pleasure in his alcohol that Kaoru had fun just watching him. As the fatigue of the day’s work left his father, Kaoru’s mood, too, lightened.

Kaoru went to the fridge, got another bottle, and filled his father’s glass.

But instead of saying “thanks,” Hideyuki issued his son an order.

“Hey, kiddo, go wake up Machi.”

Hideyuki was referring, of course, to Kaoru’s mother.

“No way. Mom’s asleep. She’s tired.”

“So am I, but do you see me sleeping?”

“But you’re up ’cause you want to be.”

“Never mind that, just go wake her up.”

“Do you need her for something?”

“Yeah. I need her to drink beer.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to drink.”

“’s alright. Tell her I want her and she’ll come running.”

“We don’t need her. We’re okay, just the two of us, aren’t we? Besides, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Gimme a break. I’m asking you here. We don’t want Machi to feel left out, do we?”

“This always happens …”

Kaoru headed for the bedroom, dragging his feet. For some reason it always fell to Kaoru to wake his mother. Supposedly his father had tried it once a few years ago, and she’d reacted very badly; now he was gun-shy.

In the Futami household, Dad always got his way in the end. Not because Hideyuki exercised his patriarchal authority, but rather because, of the three of them, he was the most juvenile.

Kaoru respected his father’s talent as a scientist. But he couldn’t help noticing that he was distinctly lacking as a grown-up. Kaoru wasn’t sure exactly what his father was missing, but his child’s mind figured that if growing up was a process of eliminating childishness in favor of adult wisdom, then it was precisely that function that his father lacked.

3 (#ulink_3b6c89c6-647a-55e7-af0b-d991f6876c65)

He hated to disturb his mother’s peaceful slumber. Kaoru went to the bedroom door and hesitantly slid it open. But Machiko was already sitting up in her futon, running her fingers through her hair. Kaoru didn’t need to wake her up—his father’s noisy homecoming had taken care of that.

“Oh, Mom. Sorry.” He was apologizing for his father.

“That’s alright.” The expression in her eyes was as gentle as ever.

Kaoru’s mother almost never scolded him. Probably because he never asked for anything unreasonable, she’d always given him what he wanted. Though he was still a child, he could tell from her words and actions how absolutely she relied on him; it made him happy, but also gave him a feeling of grave responsibility.

The Futami Family Three-Way Deadlock, was how Kaoru thought of his and his parents’ relationship. It was just like a game of rock-scissors-paper—each of them had someone they could always beat, and someone they’d always lose to.

Kaoru was strong against his mother, but weak when it came to his father. So he’d always end up going along with his father’s unreasonable courses of action, doing whatever he was told. Hideyuki was strong enough vis-à-vis his son that he could treat him high-handedly, but somehow he couldn’t manage such a firm front with his wife. When his wife was in a bad mood, he seemed to pale and shrink.

So he had to fob the task of waking his sleeping wife off on his son. Kaoru’s mother, meanwhile, was lenient with her son’s demands, but could at times respond severely to her husband’s impossible behavior, scolding him as she would a child.

His father would sometimes boast about how this marvelous balance of power maintained harmony in the family. He’d joke about their relationship pseudo-scientifically, calling their family a “self-sustaining structuralization of chaos”. The peculiar situation wasn’t the result of intent on anybody’s part—it had arisen naturally through the interaction and altercations of the three parties involved.

“What’s Hide doing?” Machiko scratched her neck and ran her fingers slowly through her hair.

“Drinking beer.”

“At this late hour? He’s hopeless.”

“He wants to know if you’ll join him.”

Machiko stood up, laughing through her nose.

“I wonder if he’s hungry.”

“I don’t know. Probably he just wants to see you, don’t you think?”

Kaoru said it with a straight face, but Machiko just laughed, as if to say, You don’t know what you’re talking about.

But Kaoru was already quite aware of his parents’ erotic side.

One night three months ago—a night in mid-June, a rare dry night in the middle of the rainy season, hot enough to forebode the tropical nights to come—Kaoru had been shocked to run into his father in the kitchen in an unexpected state.

That night Kaoru had been shut in his room using his computer, when his thirst finally became too great to ignore. He’d gone to the kitchen to get some mineral water. His parents had apparently shut themselves in their separate rooms, saying they had work to do, and the apartment was quiet. His parents often went to their rooms to work and fell asleep like that. Kaoru had expected it to be the same that night. He didn’t realize they’d been in the same room after all.

He didn’t turn on the light. He stood there in the darkness and poured some mineral water into a glass, and then popped a piece of ice into his mouth.

Then he opened the refrigerator door again to put the plastic bottle back in, and that was when he found himself facing Hideyuki, who had suddenly entered the kitchen. The light from the refrigerator shone on his father’s naked body.

Hideyuki jumped, but in surprise, not embarrassment.

“I didn’t know you were there,” he said, and with no thought for his nakedness he grabbed Kaoru’s glass from him and gulped down its contents.

What surprised Kaoru was not only that his father was completely unclothed, but that his genitalia was larger than it normally was. It was covered with some sort of thin bodily fluid, and it gleamed slickly. It always hung limply when Kaoru and his father were in the bath together. But now it arched and pulsed, exuding the confidence of having fulfilled its role as a part of its owner’s body.

The whole time his father was drinking the mineral water, Kaoru couldn’t tear his gaze from it.

“What’re you looking at? Jealous?”