In Your Dreams

“Call of Duty.”

“Great. Just calm down. We’re not shooting anyone.” Taser at most, and only then if there was a struggle.

The crime rate was pretty low in Manningsport, New York, population 715, a tiny town at the base of Keuka Lake. Everett and Em made up two-thirds of the police department; their boss, Levi Cooper, was the other third. Traffic patrol, the occasional DUI, vandalism, parking tickets... That was about as exciting as it got around here. Em ran a group for at-risk teenagers, of whom there were four. In the summer and fall, when the tourists came to taste wine and swim and boat on Keuka Lake, they were busier, but this was January, and things were quiet. In fact, this was their first call in three days.

Something thumped, and Everett squeaked. Chances were that it was a malfunctioning furnace. Possibly a raccoon. Levi always said if you heard hoofbeats, expect to see horses, not zebras.

They were in the cellar now; in front of them was Bobby’s apartment; to the right was the door to the other half of the cellar, which housed the furnace and water heater and, Barb had told them, several dozen jars of pickled vegetables she’d put up this summer.

Thud.

Okay, something was in there.

“It’s probably an animal,” Em murmured, taking the Maglite off her belt. The utility room wasn’t accessible from the outside, so a person would’ve had to come in through the house. And Barb always locked up (again, the mighty influence of Law & Order).

Everett put his hand on the doorknob and looked at Em, who nodded. Then he flung open the door, and Em flashed the light, and something moved inside, and Everett screamed and, before she could stop him, drew and fired.

Damn! The noise slapped her eardrums hard.

“It’s a cat! Everett, it’s a cat!” she yelled. “Holster your weapon!”

Everett obeyed. As he did, a ball of black and white leaped on him, hissing, and sank its teeth into his thigh. Apparently Puss in Boots didn’t appreciate being shot at.

“Officer down, officer down!” Ev yelled, swatting at it. “Ten double zero, officer down!”

“Shut up,” Em ordered. “You deserve it.” He’d missed the kitty, of course. The guy was a terrible shot.

She lifted the cat gently by the scruff of the neck and pulled it off Everett’s leg. All of a sudden, Everett was grabbed around the throat by Bobby McIntosh, who apparently was home after all.

“Why did you shoot my cat?” he yelled.

“Bobby! Let go of him!” Emmaline said.

“We don’t have a cat!” Barb said from upstairs. “Bobby, did you bring a cat home?”

Everett was sputtering and red-faced. Em sighed. “Let him go, or I’ll have to use this,” she said, taking her Taser off her belt. “It hurts.”

He hesitated. She cocked an eyebrow, and, with a sigh, he released her partner.

Drat. “Thank you, Bobby,” she said. So close.

“Bobby! What were you doing down there?” Barb said. “I called you and you didn’t answer! Where did you get that thing, anyway? I hate cats.”

“I love them,” Bobby said. “I got it from the shelter.”

“Okay, so we’re good here,” Emmaline said. Everett’s eyes were wide. “Come on, Ev—let’s go. You’re gonna have to file a report for discharging your firearm, you know.”

“I thought it was a sex offender,” Everett said, his hands shaking.

“It wasn’t. You’re safe now, buddy,” she said, patting his arm. “Come on. Back to the station.”

* * *

“YOU SHOT A CAT?” Chief Cooper said fifteen minutes later, staring at Everett.

“I’m sorry.” Ev stood there like a chastened kid.

“He missed,” Emmaline said. Now that the ringing in her ears had faded, it was hard not to laugh. “The suspect was quite fast.” Levi gave her a look.

“File the report, Everett. The incident is under review, which means you just increased my workload.”

“Sorry, Chief. Um, Bobby McIntosh attacked me.”

“Because you shot at his pet.”

“In self-defense.”

“Not really,” Emmaline said. “The cat was the one acting in self-defense.”

Levi bit down on a grin. “Your mother won’t be happy about this, Ev.”

“Do you have to tell her?”

“She’s the mayor. So, yes.”

“Shit.” Everett heaved a sigh. “Anything else, Chief?”

“No. Fill out the report and get out of here.”

Everett left the office and swiped a cookie from the desk of Carol Robinson, their newly hired administrative assistant, who’d been shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Thanks for not letting Bobby kill Everett,” Levi said to Emmaline.

“I was kind of hoping to use the Taser.”

“Could’ve used it on Everett,” he said. “But good to see cooler heads prevailed.”

It was about as high praise as the police chief gave, and Emmaline felt a small rush of pride. Granted, it had been an idiotic call in the first place, but still.

Levi, who’d been a year behind her in high school, stood and picked up a bouquet of red roses wrapped in green florist paper and tied with a white ribbon. His look warned her not to say anything.

“Aw,” she said. “Flowers for the wife? You’re such a snuggly teddy bear, Levi.”

“Inappropriate, Officer Neal,” he said, giving her his famous “I tolerate you because I have to” look. “By the way, about that crisis negotiations class. I got you a grant. You start in two weeks.”

“You did? Oh, you’re the best! I take back every complaint I ever filed about you.”

“Very funny,” her boss said. “I’m going home. Maybe I’ll see you at O’Rourke’s later.”