His Best Mistake

His brother held up his hands, palms forward. “Calm down, Kevin.”

If he had more energy, he’d put his fist through the wall. “You try remaining calm when someone just handed you a death sentence.”

“It doesn’t have to be a death sentence. You can have a bone-marrow transplant.”

After inhaling a few deep breaths, Kevin reclaimed his spot in the lounger. “What does that entail?”

“You’ll have to undergo a process to destroy all your bone marrow before the transplant. That involves roughly two weeks of chemotherapy. Post transplant, you’re looking at six months to a year of recovery time. You’ll have to limit your contact with the general public until your immune system is back to normal.”

Aside from being tired as a dog, Kevin didn’t feel all that sick. Therefore, he had no intention of letting this disease interfere with his work. “No way can I consider the transplant for at least three months. Preseason football starts in a couple of weeks and I have at least ten interviews scheduled. I have to make a living.”

“Not if you’re dead.”

His brother’s proclamation packed the punch of a right hook. “There’s no medicine I can take to stop this?”

Devin sighed. “You could have transfusions for a few months, but that’s only supportive care, not a cure. Eventually you’ll have to have the transplant in order to survive.”

At least that was something positive. But he still had questions. “Does this transplant come with a guaranteed cure?”

“Nothing is one-hundred-percent foolproof, Kevin. The transplant preparation itself poses risks. But if you want a shot at a full recovery, it’s your only alternative. Fortunately, you have an identical twin who’s a perfect genetic match as a possible donor.”

Not an option. Not when he’d barely spoken to his brother over the past few years. “I’m not going to ask Kieran to do that, and even if I did, he wouldn’t agree. Give me another choice.”

“We could test the other siblings to see if they’re a match and I’d be willing to be tested, too. Or you can search for a match through outside donor registries. But with either of those options, you’re increasing your chances for rejection.”

“I can’t expect any of you to turn your own lives upside down for me, so I’ll just take my chances and go with the donor registry.”

Devin looked as frustrated as Kevin felt. “You’re shutting out the family like you always do, Kevin. Don’t be so damn stubborn.”

“I’m being practical.” Practicality had always served him well when it came to masking his emotions. And right now, his emotions were running the gambit from fury to fear. But fear was counterproductive and he vowed not to give in to it. “I don’t have time to deal with this now. I have to catch a plane in less than two hours and I have an interview to conduct in about four.” Anything to get his mind off the news.

“Cancel the trip and get someone to cover for you, Kevin. Until you see the hematologist and decide on a treatment plan, your immune system can’t handle even the slightest infection. Airplanes are breeding grounds for those infections.”

Great. Not only had he been presented with the prospect of losing his life, he could very well lose his job. “I’ve worked too damn hard to establish myself with the magazine to blow it all to hell now.”

Devin nailed him with a glare. “A certain amount of denial is expected in this situation, but you’d better start facing reality—and soon. You’re sick and you have no chance to get better unless you get the medical attention you need.”

His mind wanted to reject that reality, but his gut told him he’d better heed his brother’s advice. “I’ll cancel the trip.”

“Good,” Devin said as he stood. “I’ll call the hematologist and have him work you in tomorrow. In the meantime, you should talk to Mom and Dad because you’re going to need all the support you can get, especially during the chemo phase. It’s tough.”

If he told his parents now, his mother would immediately warp into overprotective mode, exactly what she’d been doing since the day he’d been born the sickly twin. He preferred to avoid that scenario for as long as possible. “I’ll wait to tell Mom and Dad until I know exactly what’s going to happen next.”

“Fine, but don’t wait too long, Kevin. And there’s one more thing you need to know. You have a fifty-fifty chance of being sterile because of the chemo. If you’re serious about your girlfriend, you need to discuss this with her. But since she’s a doctor, she’ll be able to help you sort through all the information.”

Right now Kevin was on information overload, yet one thing had become all too clear. He couldn’t burden Leah with his problems, not when she was so close to finishing her fellowship. Not when he might not be able to give her the one thing she’d always said she wanted—a lot of kids. More important, if the treatment failed to cure him, he didn’t want her to watch him die. “Leah and I broke up.” A lie, but he planned to make it the truth, and soon.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Devin said. “And I’m sorry I never got to meet her. I hear she’s a nice lady.”

She was more than nice. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

His brother walked to the exit but paused before opening the door. “I’ll notify you later today when I have an appointment time. Try to get some rest and call me if you need me, even if it’s only to talk.”

“Thanks, Dev. I appreciate it.”

“You bet. And one more thing. It’s okay to be afraid.”

When Kevin couldn’t come up with a response, his brother walked out the door, leaving him alone to plan what he needed to do next, and that involved making several phone calls.

He thought about canceling his flight first and contacting the magazine after that. But one call took precedence over the others, and it happened to be the one he dreaded the most.

Better to get it over with now, before he had time to reconsider. He walked into his office and picked up the phone, clutching the receiver in his hands for a few seconds before he hit the speed dial that would connect him with the hospital where Leah spent most of her time.

After he waited several minutes for her to answer the page, she greeted him with her usual, “Dr. Cordero.”

Just the sound of her voice filled him with overwhelming regret. “Hey, Leah. It’s Kevin.”

“I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. From what you told me this morning, I thought you’d be on your way to Dallas about now. Is your flight delayed?”

“No. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m glad you called. It gives me the chance to say goodbye to you twice in one day.”

He was about to say goodbye permanently, and that was tearing him up inside. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Is everything okay, Kevin? You sound strange.”

He was anything but okay. He might never be okay again. “Look, Leah, I’ve been thinking, and the truth is, my life is crazy right now, and so is yours. I’ve decided it’s better if we take a break for a while.”

A span of silence passed before she said, “A break? Or do you mean break up?”

He brought out all the old excuses that he kept on hand like a favorite pair of worn jeans. “It’s getting too serious between us. I’m not ready to settle down, and I doubt you are either.”

“I see. So this is the infamous break-up speech. Might have been nice if you’d taken the less cowardly route and told me in person.”

If he’d done that, she would’ve sensed he was lying, and he might have buckled under her scrutiny. “I’m busy, Leah.”

“But not too busy to whisk me away on a four-day resort vacation a week ago?” She released a bitter laugh. “What was that, Kevin? A few last-minute screws just for grins? And all those things you said about how much you cared about me. I should’ve known better than to believe you.”

At the time he’d meant every word he said. God, he still did. “I do care about you, Leah.”

“And I hate you for doing this to me, Kevin.”

He could hear the tears in her voice and despised the fact that he’d put them there. “I’m sorry.” A totally inadequate statement, but the only thing he knew to say.

“I’m sorry, too. Sorry we ever met and that you turned out to be such a bastard. Heaven help the next woman who becomes involved with you.”

When she hung up the phone, Kevin experienced an overwhelming sense of loss the likes of which he’d never known. Although he still believed he had no choice but to let Leah go, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d just made the greatest mistake of his life.