‘Yes!’ she hissed in a loud whisper. ‘I can’t eat another thing. I don’t want to be rude…’ She shook her head as he pushed his plate away and summoned Bedra to clear the tray. ‘You carry on, though.’
‘I’m not hungry either. But you see…’ He was almost laughing, and that beautiful smile she had once been privy to dazzled her now again. ‘I must not rush you. Custom says I should eat till my bride or my guest is full. Only when you are finished…’
She was almost smiling too—well, not almost, she did smile. ‘You could have told me that before the camel milk cheese!’
And she glimpsed him again—glimpsed the Karim she had so quickly and heavily fallen in love with, the man who was the father of her child. And somehow, somewhere deep inside, Felicity knew this could work.
As Bedra approached, she took Felicity’s reluctant hands. ‘She is going now to paint you,’ Karim explained. ‘Henna for beauty and luck and health.’
Bedra painted Felicity’s hands, and her feet as well as an intricate coil of flowers that crept up her calves and forearms. Yet all she wanted was to be alone with Karim.
‘They are our witnesses,’ Karim explained. ‘Soon we will be alone.’ Karim took her hand, slid on her finger a silver knotted ring that was studded with turquoise and agate and decorated with symbols. Karim’s voice was serious. ‘This symbolises not just two lives, but two families that are now intertwined.’
‘Meaning?’ Felicity asked. Perhaps not the most romantic response, but she wanted to know—wanted to know about his ways so that she might understand him better.
‘It means that your celebrations I applaud and your problems I help with.’ He stared into her eyes. ‘Your family is mine. There is no burden that is not shared. This is what it means to be loved.’
She must be drunk on mint tea, because calm invaded her. This was her love that greeted her. This was the father of her child. And, yes, he was different here, yes, tradition invaded, but as she was taken aside—as Bedra smeared her body in fragrant oils and slipped a flimsy white muslin gown over her head and then directed her to his sleeping chamber—she was barely nervous. Because finally they could be alone.
He watched her walk over, her hennaed feet and hands stunning on her pale skin, her blue eyes dazzling, and the thin nightgown revealing her feminine shape.
Every night she would be his.
The rules had been waived now that she carried a child, and it meant that every night he could have her.
He must be gentle, Karim reminded himself as she padded towards him. His needs did not matter when the kingdom was at stake. He must remember that she was with child.
And then she was at his bedside. Shy and nervous, but decorated for him and forever his.
He pulled her down beside him. As he kissed her he could smell the oil in her hair, could feel the body that had aroused him so, and for once duty was a pleasure.
For Felicity, any nerves had vanished when he held her—just as they had the first time they’d made love. He slid off her nightgown and kissed each waiting breast in turn. His lips moved up to her neck and then on, deliciously, to her waiting mouth. And finally he was kissing her—heavy, deep kisses that urged instant response. Her body leapt at the memory of him. Here in bed they could communicate. Here they could discover each other again and work out their differences.
As his fingers went to a place that was already moist, Felicity knew that this was the one thing they had in common. Her legs were parted by his knees and she let them relax. She was having his baby. He was her husband.
His hand reached over her head, and at first Felicity didn’t know what he was doing. As he opened a small drawer in the heavy wooden bedhead and produced a sheath she was confused.
‘It’s a bit late for that,’ she pointed out breathlessly.
‘It is not just for—’ He didn’t get to finish. She slapped her hand hard across his cheek.
‘How dare you?’ She spat, then recoiled on the bed at his expression. Felicity wondered, in fact, how dared she. But she would not be so insulted.
‘How do I know?’ he demanded of her. ‘Have you any idea the number of women who try this? Two weeks!’ He shook his head at the improbability of it. ‘I was using protection.’
‘Then why marry me?’ Felicity demanded—but Karim couldn’t answer.
She was covering herself with her nightgown, her face wounded and angry, tears in her eyes. He wanted to believe her, yet he could not allow himself—because if it was his child she carried then unbeknownst to her everything had already changed, would change again.
He had to believe the baby was going to be Hassan’s. Had to detach from the baby she grew inside. Because one day so must she.
He climbed out of bed, and when she saw he was holding a dagger, running his finger along the blade, there was a terror in her soul that she had never before experienced. Here in the desert, here amongst his people, who would respond to her scream? She watched. The blade was so sharp as he ran it along his finger that blood trickled, and then he looked over, saw her fear, and his face was as cold as granite as it registered.
‘You imagination runs too wild. You are not a prisoner. I would never force you,’ he sneered. And just as quickly as that he lay down the dagger, walked over to the bed and smeared the silk sheet with a trickle of his blood. ‘I cover for your lies.’
‘Why won’t you accept that this baby is yours?’
‘When I get the test results, then I will believe it.’
‘There will be no test.’
‘You do not argue with me.’
‘Oh, but I do, Karim,’ Felicity said. ‘You chose to marry me today. You chose me to be your wife, and now you have me. I will respect your ways and your traditions in public, but here in private I will always speak—this is me. There will be no threat to my baby’s safety just to satisfy you, and there will be no condoms just because you cannot trust that you have been the only one. So,’ Felicity concluded in a voice that was shaky but somehow assured, ‘it looks like there will be no consummation.’
‘You do not leave here till our marriage is consummated.’
‘Then we’ll die in the desert,’ Felicity replied.
Karim just shrugged. ‘I have told you how it will be,’ Karim said, and then he climbed into bed and turned his back to her. ‘When you’re ready, you will come to me.’
CHAPTER TWELVE (#ulink_826231f7-8b41-5c1a-8d86-b1a6bc420d71)
MAYBE they would die in the desert.
As the days moved slowly on, it became clear that neither of them had any intention of changing their mind.
Absolutely she would not give in—would not sleep with a man who offended her.
And absolutely neither would Karim.
He took her out sometimes. This land that looked so barren and bare was, Karim explained, full of gifts if only you knew where to look.
He was right.
In the seemingly bare desert he showed her landmarks, canyons that moved maybe ten inches in a lifetime, and the simple, endless rule of a sun that rose and set and always offered direction.
There were oases too—a full day’s walk from each other. He took her once in his four-wheel drive, and they picnicked by one.
‘They prove the land is fertile,’ Karim said, stretching out on his back and staring up to the sky. ‘You just have to know how to treat it.’
There was a response there on her tongue, but to her credit she chose not to offer it. She was biding her time till the Karim she loved returned again.
Bedra was her only real outlet. They chatted as Bedra dressed Felicity, or did her hair. But Bedra was always covered in a black abaya. How Felicity wished she would take it off, so she could see her face when she spoke to her. One day she asked Bedra about it.
‘I do not wear it at home. There I can be myself,’ Bedra explained. ‘But here, at work…’
This upset Felicity—not a lot, but it niggled. For all their chatting, for Bedra it was work, and Felicity didn’t want it to be like that. Bedra’s husband, Aarif, tended to Karim, and sometimes when she was resting in the afternoon, while Karim wandered in the desert, she heard Bedra and Aarif laughing. She wanted it to be the same for her and Karim—because Aarif treated Bedra as if she were golden.