Operation Babe-Magnet: Operation Babe-Magnet / Operation Beauty

“You were engaged?”

“For a very short time. Adam proposed, but he failed to mention our engagement was merely a publicity stunt.” She took a sip of wine, not quite meeting Dexter’s gaze. Despite the lightness of her tone, she knew he’d be able to see the old pain in her eyes. “Although I learned a valuable lesson. Two, actually. The first one is that romance sells, especially in Hollywood. The press was wild about the story.”

“And the second?”

She put down her wineglass and made herself look at him. “The second was that too many men put themselves and their careers first. Adam loved me in his way, but he loved his image more.”

“Then Adam is an idiot.”

“Agreed,” she said with a smile. “And on that note, I think I’ll say good-night.” She placed her napkin on her empty plate, then pushed her chair away from the table. “We have an early day ahead of us tomorrow.”

He rose quickly to pull her chair out for her. “Thank you for having dinner with me tonight.”

“It was my pleasure,” she replied, wondering why she was blushing.

He escorted her to the door adjoining their rooms. “Good night, Kylie. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night, Harry.” Then she walked into her hotel room, closing the door firmly behind her.

The first thing she saw were the flowers. Half a dozen bouquets of all kinds of flowers spread throughout the room. Puzzled, she walked over to the closest vase and plucked the note card off the holder.

She smiled as she read the message. “Amy told me you like filet mignon, but Gertrude told me you like flowers. I hope I can make this book tour everything you want it to be. Yours truly, Dexter.”

“IT’S TIME TO ROCK IN THE morning on 1240 KROC,” boomed the radio disc jockey who went by the name of Doogie. “And to get your day started right, we’ve got the sultan of sexuality. The high priest of horniness. The lusty ladykiller. That’s right, boys and girls. Author Harry Hanover is here to tell us about his sizzling hot new book, How To Jump-Start Your Love Life.”

Dexter adjusted his headphones, his gut tied into a knot. Kylie had been thrilled about landing an interview spot on the morning show at KROC, but he didn’t share her excitement. Sending flowers and ordering a romantic dinner for two was one thing. Broadcasting his newfound knowledge about romance to thousands of listeners was quite another.

The young disc jockey turned to Dexter. “Okay, Harry, I don’t need any passion pointers. I’ve got the babes lined up at my bedroom door. But what about those pitiful yokels who can’t even turn on a vibrator, much less a woman.”

Doogie was one of those shock jocks so popular on radio talk shows. He reminded Dexter of the loudmouthed jerks in high school who had made themselves feel good by tearing others down. The same jerks who were responsible for christening him with those stupid nicknames. But Dexter wasn’t Frankenbrain today, he was Harry Hanover, official stud. And it was time for him to step into the role.

Fortunately, he’d read Harry’s book a second time last night. Not only had he memorized the title of each chapter, but he’d practiced incorporating Hanover’s automobile references in response to potential questions.

Dexter leaned toward his microphone. “You can’t rev the engine until you warm up the car, Mr. Doogie. So I suggest any men out there who have their eye on a particular lady try to warm her up with small romantic gestures to show her how much he really cares.”

Doogie waggled his hairy eyebrows. “I know all kinds of gestures to make a woman melt right into my arms, Harry. The Doog-Master has all the right moves. In fact, my friends call me the magician because I can make a woman’s clothes disappear.” He snapped his fingers into the microphone. “Voilà!”

“That’s not exactly what I meant by gestures. Men need to…”

“Answer me this,” Doogie interjected, “how many sexy babes have you scored with since you published this book?”

Dexter glanced at Kylie through the Plexiglas window separating the booth from the control room. Her small white teeth worried her lower lip and she kept glancing at the clock. No doubt hoping as much as he that this so-called interview would end soon.

Doogie followed his gaze. “Speaking of sexy babes, who is that hot number you brought with you today?”

“She is not a hot number,” Dexter replied, irritated by way Doogie was ogling Kylie. “She’s a publicist with Handy Press.”

“Well, she could definitely come in handy around here,” Doogie said with a smirk. “I may have an opening in my babe schedule if she’s interested.”

“Sorry, Doogie,” Dexter said wryly. “She only dates men with class.”

“Ouch,” the disc jockey exclaimed. “The Doogster obviously stepped on some testy toes. So what’s the scoop with you and that spark plug publicist, Harry? And have you revved up her engine yet? Come on, spill. Just between you and me.”

And thousands of his listeners. Dexter leveled his gaze on the disc jockey while his fists curled in his lap. “I guess you’ll need to read my book to find out the answer. Who knows, Doogie, you might even learn something.”

“The Doogster doesn’t need lessons on how to do the horizontal hustle,” he chortled into the microphone. “But for you losers out there who are tired of those blowup dolls, check out Harry Hanover’s new guidebook, How To Jump-Start Your Love Life. It might be a waste of money, but it could fill up another lonely Saturday night. This is 1240 KROC, rockin’ you in the morning.”

Then Doogie flipped a switch and loud music reverberated from the speakers. He turned a dial, then swiveled his chair to face Dexter. “That’s a wrap. Thank you so much for coming in this morning, Mr. Hanover. I’m sure my listeners will enjoy your book.”

Dexter blinked, surprised by the transformation. “You’re welcome.”

Then Doogie nodded toward the control booth. “So is your publicist unattached?”

Despite the fact that Doogie might not really be as bad as his shock jock persona, Dexter wasn’t about to let him anywhere near Kylie. “Sorry, she’s not available.”

Doogie picked up a copy of the book. “Good stuff here. I especially like chapter sixteen.”

“Why Men Can Cry?” Dexter asked in disbelief. “You actually read it?”

Doogie smiled, placing a hand over his heart. “Hey, I’m a sensitive guy. Ask anyone.”

Dexter shook his hand, the urge to punch Doogie in the jaw gradually fading. But he found Kylie wasn’t ready to be so forgiving.

“Can you believe that?” she asked, as they walked out of the radio station. “He ripped you and the book to shreds! We’ll be lucky if anyone in Columbus buys it now.”

“Aren’t you the one who said any publicity is good publicity?”

“He made you sound like a pimp!”

“Not me. Harry.” He slowed and turned toward her. “There is a difference.”

She took a deep breath. “I know that. I just wish the Doogster would have been a little more supportive of How To Jump-Start Your Love Life instead of making it sound like it was just written for losers. Ridiculing the author and the book certainly isn’t going to help sales. I should have complained to the station manager.”

He clasped her arm, pulling her to a stop. Her cheeks were flushed and her brown eyes glowed with angry sparks. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful when she was angry, but Hanover’s book had specifically warned against using tired clichés. So he tried to calm her down instead. “Look, anyone who listens to Doogie’s show expects him to act that way. That’s the reason they tune in. If he had gushed over the book, they never would have believed him. This way they got a few laughs at the same time they got exposed to the information.”

“Exposure is good,” she conceded grudgingly.

“Right. And the next time they’re in a bookstore and see How To Jump-Start Your Love Life, they’ll remember it. More importantly, they’ll probably buy it just to see what Doogie was making such a fuss about.”

She smiled up at him. “You’re pretty smart, Harry, did you know that?”

He thought about his decision to kiss her instead of Gertrude.

“I have my moments.”

Kylie squared her shoulders. “Okay. Doogie set the ball rolling. So now I just need to think of some way for us to take advantage of it.”

7