Cowboy Seal Daddy

“Leave it alone. Sorry I said anything.” She entered the bakery, zeroing in on a wedding cake display.

“May I help you?” a clerk asked.

“We need a simple wedding cake,” Paisley said.

“How many guests will you be expecting?”

“Just the two of us. I mainly want it for our wedding album—something special to commemorate the occasion.”

“Of course.” The clerk’s name tag read Daisy. “But an option many of our brides choose is our fake cake.”

“Perfect,” Wayne said. “I heard about them.”

Paisley’s furrowed brow read confusion. “I’m not sure about this.”

Daisy laughed, leading them to a corner display. She plucked up a seriously swanky, three-tiered cake, tossing it to Wayne. “Catch.”

He did, bracing for the impact of fifty pounds’ worth of cake and frosting. Instead, the thing must have been made of Styrofoam and couldn’t weigh over five pounds. “Impressive.”

“I know, right? We’re famous for them and ship worldwide. Our fake cakes have been featured on hundreds of feature films and TV programs. We even make simple sheet cakes for your guests to enjoy, but if you choose to buy rather than rent, your wedding cake can be the perfect keepsake of your special day.”

“Sold,” Wayne said. What could be better for a fake marriage than a fake cake? He turned to his betrothed. “Pick which one you want. Maybe it’s my affinity for all things Western, but I’m vibing on the one with all those little cacti and the cowboy hat topper.” To Daisy he asked, “Do you rent by the hour? We just need it for pics. Oh, and we’ll need one piece of real cake to smoosh in each other’s faces.”

“Perfect. We do rent by the hour, and there’s an adorable park just at the end of the street with a rose garden perfect for photos. For an additional fee, we can set the cake on a banquet table and even take professional photos. We call this our Social Media Wedding Package. It has all the panache of a spectacular wedding event for the price of dinner and a movie. We can also handle your floral needs—arrangements, bouquet and boutonnieres—the works. They’re made from the finest silks and trust me, from photos they look real enough to smell. Your friends and family will be impressed.”

“Sign us up.”

“Wayne,” Paisley said, “isn’t this all moving a little fast? Plus, I think your mom will be less disappointed to have missed our wedding if we make it a simple, courthouse ceremony. Frills will only upset her.”

“Relax. Considering we have to be married and on the family ranch with photo proof by Easter, which is in only three weeks, this is the perfect solution. And I think Mom would be more disappointed if I didn’t treat my bride to a good time. She’ll understand that because of the baby, we needed a rush job.”

Paisley’s thunderous expression said she wasn’t so sure.

Back in the truck, before he started the engine, he angled sideways to face her. “So, what’s bugging you? And don’t tell me nothing, because we shouldn’t be lying this soon into our relationship.” He winked, trying to keep things light.

“Honestly? Besides your faulty rationale in regard to your sweet mother’s potentially broken heart?” She gazed out her window rather than at him. “It may sound stupid, but I’d like more regular communication between us. You go days without so much as a text, then pop in unannounced. Even as your pretend fiancée, I’d appreciate more consideration. I don’t expect a full accounting of your every move, but regular updates would be great.”

“Noted.” Interesting. One part of him was annoyed by having to check in. Another part was flattered she cared...

Chapter Four (#ub3821314-c271-5fae-bcf3-c6cbac9742b7)

“What’s got you so damned smiley?” Wayne was hating every second of their 0500 six-mile beach run. A three-mile ocean swim was next on the PT agenda. Most days he didn’t mind, but ever since learning of his father’s condition, he felt as if his time would be better spent on the ranch.

“You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Hell—I still don’t believe it.”

“Knock off the chitchat!” Their CO passed them as if they were standing still. “You losers aren’t a SEAL team, but freakin’ cheerleading squad. Move it, move it, move!”

“Such a charmer,” Logan said once their commanding officer passed them to harass the next guys in line. “But not even his hard ass could bring me down. You’re not the only one around here getting married—only mine’s the real deal.”

“Wait—what?”

“You heard me. I popped the question to Monica last night and she accepted. She wanted me to ask if you’d mind us tagging along to your family ranch. We want to get hitched over Easter. No big deal. I’m sure your dad isn’t up for a major production. But since that’s the only leave we have coming for a while and I want you to be my best man and Monica wants Paisley for her maid of honor, it makes sense.”

“No, man. Nothing about this makes sense. You hate Monica. She hates you. My dad’s dying. Like seriously, what the hell?”

“What can I say? We kissed and made up. And I couldn’t be happier. Not only is Monica obsessed with the photos I’ve shown her of your family ranch, but your dad has always been like a second father to me. Your mom, like my mom.” Tears shone in Logan’s eyes. He swiped them away. “Since my mother passed, they’ve been there for me. It would mean a lot for them to share this special day—especially, since your dad is—well, since he’s not feeling his best.”

“I appreciate all that, but I thought you had that ugly talk with her father?”

“It wasn’t so much ugly as it was a gut check. He basically asked my intentions. When I told him we were having a good time, he told me she was ready for a more serious commitment. He also told me not to even think about seeing his daughter anymore unless I was one thousand percent ready for a lifelong marriage. I got spooked and broke things off. But damned if being without her didn’t scare me more than being with her. I missed her, you know?”

“You’ve lost your ever-loving mind.”

“Is that a yes for the ranch? I showed Monica pics from the last time we were there and she couldn’t get enough of those back-porch views. Oh—and Monica told me your fake wedding is right before we leave. I’m hurt you didn’t ask me to stand up for you.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Nah.” Logan flashed a smile. “Just a fool for love. By the way, I ran this past your mom and she loves the idea—although she’s crushed you and Paisley aren’t joining us for a double wedding. Monica and I both think you should reconsider.”

Hours later, Wayne was fresh out of the shower when his cell rang. Caller ID showed his mom, so he answered. “Hey. Is Dad all right?”

All he heard was her crying. The sound wrung his heart like a soaked towel.

“Mom? Is Dad having a rough day?”

“H-how could you do this to me? Y-you’re my only son! Y-you not only got that sweet neighbor of yours p-pregnant, but couldn’t bother to tell us y-you’re getting married again?”

Lord...

Think fast. “Mom, I’m sorry. I thought with everything going on with Dad—the divorce from Chelsea—it would be better to just—”

“When is it ever an appropriate time to break your mother’s heart? Logan told me you and Paisley aren’t married yet, so I worked everything out with Monica’s wedding planner and we’re having a nice double wedding. It’s happening on a whirlwind timeline, but I’m excited. This is all going to be a lot of fun. I can only imagine the cost.”

“What?” Raging heartburn had the protein bar he’d downed doing push-ups in his stomach. Like the entire world wasn’t shattering, he covered his right ear from the sound of guys laughing in the showers.

“Son?”

“Dad?” Wayne gulped. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Fine. Like new man. This news has me happier than June bug dancing in lemonade. I’m finally going to be grandpoppa!” Wayne would miss his Russian-born father’s thick accent and ridiculous analogies that rarely, if ever, made sense, but somehow still managed to convey his meaning. At least he was happy, which was fantastic.

But only if he and Paisley pulled off their charade. He could only imagine what Monica’s nickname for them would be.

#Payne?

The joining of his and Paisley’s names would be hilarious if not so tragic.

“Wayne? It’s Mom.” Swell. “The double wedding will be lovely. The thought of it is the only thing stopping me from permanently grounding you.”