Against The Odds

“No, he’s a civilian inventory management specialist.”

“Do you like it here, so far?” Bryan asked.

Hands in her lap, she picked at a cuticle. “It’s okay.”

“Why did the court mandate that you be here, Brenda?” Bina leaned forward, trying to get the woman to look at her. It didn’t work.

“I don’t know.”

Bear heard it only because she sat beside him.

“You’ll have to speak up, dear,” Bryan said.

“We’ve got bossy, nosy neighbors.” Her voice hovered, just above a whisper. “Phil, he gets mad sometimes.” She tucked a hank of hair behind her ear, eyes still on her lap. “For good reason. I... I’m kind of a mess.”

The group waited. Bear swore he could hear dust falling.

“What makes you say that, Brenda?” Bina asked.

She heaved a sigh, and rolled her eyes until they landed on Bina. “Oh, please. Just look at me. I’m fat, I’m ugly. I’m pretty useless.”

Bina frowned. “I don’t think that’s true. Tell me one good thing about yourself. Something you’re proud of.”

Brenda sat like a female Buddha, contemplating the meaning of the universe. Finally, she said, “I married well.”

“Really?” Mark said. “Pardon me for saying so, but your husband sounds like a major jerk.”

“You don’t even know him.” She glared across the circle. “See? This is what I knew would happen.”

“Why don’t you tell us about you, instead?” Bina jotted a note on the small notebook in her lap.

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell us your happiest memory?”

When Brenda’s head lifted, the crease between her brows was gone, and she looked different.

He realized that it was her eyes. Well, not her eyes exactly, but it was as if she was looking out them instead of looking inward, for the first time since he’d seen her.

“I had a puppy once. He was sweet, and all mine.”

“What kind of dog was it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, just a mutt, mostly. I found him in a parking lot of a grocery store, digging in the trash for something to eat.”

“What did you name him?” Hope asked.

“Bucky.”

When Brenda smiled, Bear could see the woman behind all that fat and sadness. She was pretty.

“Bucky and me, we went everywhere together. He loved me.”

“Where is he now?”

The pretty woman dissolved into the washed-out housewife. “Oh, he died. It was a long time ago.”

Hope asked, “Why don’t you get another puppy?”

“Phil doesn’t like animals.” Brenda’s head dropped, and she started worrying her cuticle again. “Besides, he’s allergic.”

She should develop an allergy to Phil. Not that it’s any of my business.

“Thanks for sharing that, Brenda. It’s nice getting to know you a bit better.” Bina crossed her legs. “Who else would like to share?”

Bear almost squirmed in his chair, but caught himself in time. Say something. But what? Hope made it clear he was going to have to give to get. But what would constitute sharing, without revealing anything? Any thread he picked at could unravel his carefully woven blanket of solitude. And he couldn’t allow that to happen. He chewed his lip. What then?

“You are now looking at a retail adventure specialist,” Hope said.

“Hey, congrats,” Mark said.

“That’s the job you wanted, right?” Bina watched Hope from under one raised eyebrow.

“Yes. I start later today. I’m manning the register to start, but I’m going to take lessons in three adventure sports, to better be able to sell the equipment.”

“You’re not going to skydive, are you?” Bryan’s long-fingered hand splayed on his chest. “I’m terrified of heights.”

The kid looked so aghast, Bear couldn’t help it—he chuckled.

Bryan shot him a glare.

“No way. I’m looking for adventure, not terror.” Her fond smile, aimed Bryan’s way, pinched Bear. “No, I think I’m going to start with surfing. It looks so... I don’t know, freeing. You’re riding a force of nature, harnessing the power for your own happiness. You’ve got to feel free then, wouldn’t you think?”

The longing made her face glow. It pulled words out of him. “That’s what it feels like, when I’m on my bike.”

Bina jumped in, fast. “How so?”

“Well, you’re not harnessing nature, but you’re out in it—almost a part of it. You smell what’s in the wind, feel the flow of the land underneath you. The changes in temperature, the weather. It affects you in ways there aren’t words for. You can only feel it.”

“It sounds amazing.” When Hope turned that fond smile on him, it warmed him. Or maybe it was embarrassment. Or both. He ducked his head. “It is.”

“Tell us something else about you, Bear.” Bina’s voice was soft, but it poked him.

“I have a business, doing custom paint jobs, out of my barn.”

“Cool,” Mark said. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“My dad had a repair shop when I was growing up. He hated painting. Turned out, I liked it. So I took over that part.” He checked the clock on the wall over the door. Five more minutes. Surely he could keep this up that long. Surely Hope would consider this “sharing.”