The Surgeon's Secret Baby Wish

She nodded, feeling her heart race at the sound of her name in his deep, husky voice. Good grief, she hadn’t worked so hard to get through five years of surgical residency followed by another year as a surgical/trauma fellow to react like an adolescent the first time a gorgeous man smiled at her. She’d worked darned hard to get where she was and she wasn’t about to do anything to jeopardize her position.

“I’ve met the rest of the team over these past few days, but kept missing you. Glad to finally put a face to a name.” Rick’s tone turned serious. “Yes, the community education program is very important to our trauma recertification process. I appreciate your will ingness to help out.”

“No problem.”

“Great.” His gaze lingered on hers for a moment and she had the impression there was a hint of sadness in them before he turned and glanced over the group. “Any other questions?” He paused, waiting. “If not, we’ll call this meeting adjourned. Uh, Naomi, do you have a minute?”

Feeling like the errant student who hadn’t finished her homework, Naomi stood awkwardly to the side, allowing her colleagues to pass by on their way out of the physician conference room.

“What’s up?” she asked, striving for a distant tone. “I’m on service today in the PICU and need to get upstairs to make rounds.”

“I know, but I need a favor.” For the first time that morning, Rick appeared ill at ease.

A favor? She lifted a curious brow. “What?”

“I need someone to cover my call shift this evening.” His gaze was slightly apologetic. “I have a pressing personal issue I need to take care of. I can take over about nine o’clock or ten at the latest, if that’s all right with you?”

Nine or ten? Her heart sank. Heck no, it wasn’t all right. She had an appointment at the clinic at six and they closed at eight. Was he asking her because she was the most junior member of the group? Or because she was divorced and couldn’t possibly have a life? She stiffened her spine, not willing to be viewed as the easy mark. No way was she going to start covering all Rick’s call shifts, just because he happened to be the boss. She swallowed hard and forced a tight smile. “I’m sorry, but I have plans this evening. You’ll have to ask someone else.”

“I see.” He simply looked at her for a moment, but then slowly nodded. “I understand. I did check with the others. Debra is already post-call and she was up most of the night. Steve and Dirk are flying out to San Francisco to attend a national pediatric trauma conference. Frank and his wife are celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary, and Chuck Lowrey is filling in for one of the general surgeons while he’s on vacation.”

Damn. That pretty much covered their entire team. But her plans were just as important as anyone else’s. More so, because every time she canceled it meant another month of waiting. Another month of postponing her dream of having a family of her own. Helplessly she lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

His smile was crooked. “It’s all right. My problem, not yours. Thanks anyway.”

She turned away, fully intending to walk out, but the way he’d accepted her decision, without pulling rank or asking specifically what her plans were, made her waver. What was his pressing personal issue? She’d heard through the grapevine that Rick wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean anything. No doubt he was in some sort of relationship. For all she knew, his plans might not be anything more than getting his girlfriend settled after their move.

Yet to be fair, he didn’t seem like the type to exaggerate his need for time off. Trauma surgeons knew being on call was a part of the job, and being in charge of the program meant you had to take call rotations like everyone else. She took one step toward the door, and then another. She stopped. Calling herself every kind of fool, she sighed and turned back to meet Rick’s faintly questioning gaze. “I’ll take your shift.”

For a moment his eyes lit up but then he shook his head. “No, I can’t ask you to cancel your plans.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Sure. No big deal, just her entire future. She stifled a sigh and forced a smile. “Really, take care of what you need to do. I’ll cover your call.”

There was a long pause, as if he were debating with himself on whether or not he should take her up on her offer. Finally he nodded. “Thanks, Naomi. And if you get slammed with patients, just give me a call and I’ll back you up. With any luck, I’ll be finished by nine.”

Usually Wednesday nights weren’t exactly big trauma nights, unless the weather was bad. Peds trauma wasn’t nearly as busy as adult trauma. She was supposed to be second call anyway, but had figured there’d be little chance of being called in to help Rick, so she’d made the appointment when she’d realized she was ovulating.

If she didn’t go to the clinic today, she wouldn’t be able to go for the rest of the week. She and the other surgeons had picked up extra shifts to cover for Steve and Dirk who were on their way to San Francisco.

Canceling her plans tonight meant she’d forgo her chance of getting pregnant this month. Just like she’d forgone her plans last month and the month before that.

Her heart squeezed in her chest. She needed to find a way to make regular appointments and keep them. Her OB doctor had warned her that conceiving would be difficult, thanks to the scar tissue she’d sustained during several bouts of endometriosis. Canceling her appointments wasn’t helping in her quest to get pregnant.

“Thanks again,” Rick said, his gaze warm with appreciation. “I owe you one.”

“Sure.” Her smile was weak. He might owe her a favor but there was no way she could ask him to provide the one thing she really wanted.

A baby.

Rick watched Naomi leave, then yanked his gaze away when he realized he was admiring her petite, yet curvy backside. He frowned and gave his head a slight shake. He wasn’t interested in women, not any more.

Not ever again.

Convincing himself he’d only been grateful because Naomi had bailed him out of a jam, he stood. Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, he headed back to his office to catch up on his e-mails until the hour was late enough that he could call his sister.

Forty-five minutes later, he picked up the phone. “Jess? I managed to get off work tonight, so I can go to the father-daughter dance with Lizzy.”

“Oh, Rick, that’s wonderful. Lizzy will be ecstatic.” Jessica hesitated, then added, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I know this won’t be easy for you.”

“I’m fine.” He knew he sounded gruff, but couldn’t help it. Two years and the pain of his loss hadn’t gone away. Although sometimes he could go for days without thinking about it. He cleared his throat and tried to soften his tone. “Lizzy deserves to have someone escort her to the father-daughter dance. I’m honored to take her.”

“She’s going to be so thrilled. Thanks for rearranging your schedule, Rick.”

“No problem. Tell Lizzy I’ll pick her up at six.” He hung up the phone and stared blindly at his computer. He wasn’t so sure Naomi would appreciate why he’d asked her to cover his shift, but he couldn’t regret taking up her offer. Lizzy had just turned ten and was feeling left out of the “in” crowd at school. But she was a great kid, and it certainly wasn’t her fault she hadn’t seen her father for years. The jerk had taken off shortly after Lizzy’s birth.

Jess had done a good job of raising Lizzy alone, but he also knew his sister had struggled. He’d helped Jess financially, but it hadn’t been until recently, after he’d lost his own wife and child, that he’d begun looking for a position to bring him closer to home.

A new start was just what he needed to help get away from the memories. Plus, he figured he should help Jess raise Lizzy, as they didn’t have any other family left. And he wasn’t interested in going down that path again. Having and losing one family in a lifetime was bad enough.

Rick left work early so he could catch a couple of hours’ sleep, just in case he had a busy call night. He didn’t sleep well, but managed to get a little rest. He showered and dressed, then left to pick up his niece.

The father-daughter dance wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d expected. The gym of the elementary school had been decorated with streams of crepe paper and dozens of balloons. The disc jockey played songs, took requests and held a dance contest. He and Lizzy participated but his lack of coordination hindered their chance of winning. He managed to participate in the chicken dance, though, and if he felt like an idiot, flapping his arms like wings, he considered it lucky that no one he knew was around to see him.

For a few songs the DJ played some sort of rap music that hurt his ears. Thankfully, the girls preferred dancing with each other, leaving the dads and surrogate dads to stand around, awkwardly talking about sports and wishing for something stronger than punch to drink. He caught himself glancing at his watch and wondering how Naomi was doing. For her sake, he hoped the trauma calls weren’t too bad.

Finally, the DJ announced the last song, and he danced once again with Lizzy. Her head barely reached his chest, but they managed to get through the whole number without him stepping on her toes.

“Thanks, Uncle Rick,” she murmured, gazing up at him with wide, adoring brown eyes. “I’m so glad you could come with me. I was so sad to think I might have to sit at home alone tonight.”

The thought of Lizzy feeling sad and lonely made him doubly glad Naomi had helped him out. “Hey, I’m the lucky guy who got to dance with the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Oh, brother.” She rolled her eyes, but blushed and giggled. “You always say that.”

“Because it’s true.” He took her hand as they headed toward the door, and glanced down at her. “I love you, Lizzy.”

“I love you too, Uncle Rick.” She flashed him a dazzling smile, and just for a moment he imagined that his daughter Sarah would have looked at him in the same way, six years from now.

A sharp stab of pain caught him off guard and he dropped his car keys. Fumbling, he picked them up and then held the door for Lizzy so they could walk outside. A thick fog hung over the school parking lot, so he used the key fob to help locate their car.

Pulling himself out from under a cloak of painful memories, he helped Lizzy inside and then walked around to the driver’s side. He started the car and carefully drove out of the parking lot, moving slowly because of the dense fog. Luckily his sister’s house wasn’t far. He was headed in that direction when his pager went off.

With a frown, he pulled the car over and read the text message from Naomi. Multi-vehicle crash with five peds victims expected, one DOA at the scene. I’m going to need help.

“Is there a problem?” Lizzy asked, her freckle-dusted nose wrinkling in a frown.

“Yeah, I’m going to have to go back to the hospital tonight.” Still driving slowly, keeping a careful eye out for other cars, he pulled into his sister’s driveway and left the car running while he took the time to see Lizzy safely inside the house. “See you later, kiddo.” He gave her a quick hug. “Tell your mom I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“I will. Bye. Thanks again.” Lizzy waved as he dashed to his car and backed out of the driveway.