A Knight for Nurse Hart

And he’d missed working with her, more than he’d wanted to acknowledge.

He gave himself a mental shake. This wasn’t the time or the place. He crossed over to the patient, who had come in with vague flu-like symptoms that he was beginning to suspect was something much more complicated. Using the closest computer terminal, he pulled up the patient’s chest X-ray. Raine was right, the patient’s breathing must be severely compromised as the X-ray looked far worse. He suspected the large shadow was a tumor and likely the cause of a massive infiltrate on the right side of her lungs, but she would need more of a work-up to be sure. “How much O2 do you have her on?”

“Six liters.”

He frowned. “Crank her up to ten liters per minute and prepare for a thoracentisis.”

Raine did as he asked, although he noticed she gave him a wide berth whenever he came too close.

He was troubled by the way Raine was acting. He regretted the way he’d overreacted that night and had tried to call her several times to apologize but she hadn’t returned his calls. Did she still blame him? Was it impossible for her to forgive him?

Seeing her tonight brought his old feelings back to the surface. Along with the same sexual awareness that had shimmered between them from the very first time they’d met.

But as much as that sensation was still there, something was off. He’d noticed right from the start of their shift how her usual enthusiasm was missing. Maybe it was just the seriousness of their domestic violence patient, but they’d shared tough shifts before. Somehow this was different, especially the way she seemed to avoid him whenever he came too close.

Maybe she was worried he’d ask her out again. And he had to admit, the thought had crossed his mind. More than once. Sure, he’d made a stupid mistake before, but didn’t he deserve a second chance?

Apparently, Raine wasn’t willing to grant him one.

He turned to their elderly patient, focusing on the procedure he needed to do. He put on a face mask and then donned sterile gown and gloves, while Raine prepped the patient. He lifted the needle and syringe in his hand and gently probed the space between the fourth and fifth ribs. He numbed the area with lidocaine and then picked up the longer needle used to aspirate the fluid. Slowly, he advanced the needle.

He hit the pocket of fluid and held the needle steady while the site drained. Once he’d taken off almost a liter of fluid, their patient’s oxygen saturation improved dramatically.

“Place a dressing over this site, would you?” he asked Raine. “And we need to send a sample of this fluid to Pathology.” Stepping back, he stripped off his sterile garb. Once she’d gotten the specimens sent to the lab and the patient cleaned up, he went back in to talk to the husband and wife.

“Mrs. Ambruster, I’m afraid your chest X-ray shows something abnormal and I believe whatever is going on is causing fluid to build up in your lungs.”

The elderly couple exchanged a look of dismay. “What is it? Cancer?” her husband asked.

Caleb didn’t want to lie but at the same time he didn’t honestly know for certain what the problem was. He was impressed by the mutual love and respect this elderly couple displayed toward each other, something missing from his own family life. He tried to sound positive. “That is one possibility but there are others that could be less serious. I’m not a thoracic surgeon, but I’d like to refer you to one. I can arrange for you to see someone first thing in the morning if you’re willing.”

The Ambrusters agreed and he made the arrangements with the thoracic surgery resident. By the time he wrote the discharge orders for Mrs. Ambruster, the oncoming shift had arrived.

He was free to go home. But he didn’t want to leave, not without talking to Raine.

He found her in the staff lounge, but stopped short when he realized she was crying. Immediately concerned, he rushed over. “Raine? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She quickly swiped at her eyes, as if embarrassed by her display of emotion.

“Raine, please. Talk to me.” He couldn’t hide the desperate urgency in his voice.

There was a slight pause, and he found himself holding his breath when she finally brought her tortured gaze up to meet his. “Becca died. She never made it out of surgery.”

Caleb grimaced beneath a wave of guilt. Here he’d been worried about himself when Raine was grieving over their patient. “I’m sorry, Raine. I didn’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter. We did what we could.”

The despair in her tone tugged at his heart. He wanted to reach out to her, but knew he’d given up that privilege when he’d accused her of cheating on him.

He wanted to apologize. To explain he now knew he’d been wrong, but where to start?

“I have to go,” Raine muttered, swiping at her face and attempting to brush past him.

“Wait.” He reached out to grasp her arm. “Please don’t go. Let’s talk. About us. About where we went wrong.”

“There’s no point. What we had is over,” she whispered, wrenching from his grasp. The hint of dark desperation shadowing her eyes hit hard. She hesitated only for a moment, before ducking out of the room.

Shocked, he could only stare after her. Something was definitely wrong. This wasn’t just Raine wanting to take a break from their relationship. There was something more going on.

He’d screwed up before, but he wouldn’t give in so easily this time. He was determined to uncover the truth.

Chapter Two

RAINE drove home, wishing she hadn’t lost control like that in front of Caleb. It was her own fault that he had no idea what she’d been through. No one did. She been too embarrassed, too ashamed. Feeling too guilty to tell anyone.

She was determined to get over the past, and she knew that moving forward was the best way to accomplish that. And if she regretted taking a break from her relationship with Caleb, she had no one to blame but herself.

Caleb had trust issues. But instead of trying to work through them, she’d broken things off. And then, when he’d tried to call to make up, she hadn’t returned his calls.

Because by then everything had changed.

She’d thought she’d put the past behind her. But obviously she’d jumped back into the trauma environment a little too quickly. She’d taken off work completely for a week, and then had taken a three-week assignment in the minor care area, trying to ease herself back into the stressful working environment the way her counselor had suggested. Obviously, she had a way to go before she’d be back to her old self.

She pulled into her assigned parking space in the small lot behind her apartment, threw the gearshift into park and dropped her forehead on the steering-wheel with a deep, heavy sigh.

Who was she trying to kid? She’d never be the person she had been before. Hadn’t her counselor drilled that fact into her head? There was no going back. The only option was to move forward.

Firming her resolve, she climbed from the car and headed up to her second-story apartment. She smiled when her cat, Spice, meowed softly and came running over to greet her, rubbing up against her leg with a satisfied purr. She picked up the cat and buried her face in the soft fur. She’d adopted Spice from the local shelter a few weeks ago and had not regretted it. Coming home to an empty apartment night after night had been difficult. Spice made coming home much easier. And the cat gave her someone to talk to.

She threw a small beanbag ball past Spice—the goofy cat actually liked to play fetch like a dog—and tried to unwind from the long shift. But the relaxation tips her therapist had suggested didn’t help and she still had trouble falling asleep. She’d taken to sleeping on her sofa, and as she stared at the ceiling, she thought about her counselor’s advice to confide in someone. She knew her counselor might be right, but she just couldn’t make herself take that step.

If she told one of her friends what had happened, they’d look at her differently. With horror. With pity. Asking questions. She shivered with dread. No, she couldn’t stand the thought of anyone knowing the gory details. Especially when she couldn’t remember much herself.

The one person she might have confided in was Caleb. If he’d trusted her. Which he didn’t.

The events of that night when he’d looked at her with frank disgust still had the power to hurt her. She’d gone out to a local pub with a group of ED staff nurses and physicians after work. Jake, one of the new ED residents, had flirted with her. She hadn’t really thought too much about it until the moment she’d realized he’d had too much to drink. He’d leaned in close, with his arm around the back of her chair, trying to kiss her.

Before she could gently, but firmly push him away, Caleb had walked in. She’d blushed because she knew the situation looked bad, but he hadn’t given her a chance to explain. Instead, he’d accused her of seeing Jake behind his back.

She’d seen the flash of hurt in his eyes, but at the same time she hadn’t appreciated Caleb’s willingness to think the worst of her. She’d talked to him the next day, and had tried to explain. But when he’d sounded distant, and remote, she’d given up, telling him it might be best to take a break from their relationship for a while.

She’d been stunned when he’d agreed.

Pounding a fist into her pillow, she turned on the sofa and tried to forget about Caleb. With everything that had happened, she’d put distance between herself and her friends.

Her closest friend, Elana Schultz, had recently married ED physician Brock Madison. In the months since their wedding she hadn’t seen as much of Elana. They were still friends, but Elana had a new life now with Brock.

When Elana had assumed Raine had taken the job in Minor Care to avoid Caleb, she hadn’t told her friend any different.