Soldier's Christmas Secrets

“But what about five months ago?” she persisted. “You moved in next door to me on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” The teakettle whistled and he quickly removed it from the burner. “I came to Milwaukee because I knew you had family here and wouldn’t have stayed at Fort Bragg. Even then, it took me a while to find you in Brookland. Once I did, I couldn’t stay away. I needed to make sure you were safe.”

She couldn’t argue that he had saved them.

“I want you to know I won’t hold you to anything,” Hawk continued. “James as you knew him is gone. Hawk was the lone survivor of that plane crash. Where we go from here is totally up to you.”

“Where we go from here?” The realization of what he was saying sank deep.

Hawk was James. He was her husband. Lizzy’s father.

And she had absolutely no idea where to go from here.

THREE (#u761bb363-ccd6-5b9f-b8a2-37fd1d710fbe)

Hawk busied himself with making a bowl of instant oatmeal for Jillian. The truth hung between them like a dark storm cloud, threatening to burst, bringing snow and ice pelting down. Telling her the story wasn’t as difficult as he’d anticipated, but he wasn’t sure the truth had fully sunk in yet.

He’d been honest with her when he’d claimed James was dead. That year he spent hiding in the mountains, recuperating from his injuries, had changed him. James had died in the plane crash, leaving a man called Hawk behind.

That he’d survived when the rest of his team had died haunted him still. The Callahans would claim God had a plan, but he didn’t believe it. Not the way he used to. He’d lost his entire life that day.

Even now, sometimes he awoke from a nightmare, hearing his team’s screams as the plane plummeted down into the mountainside. Only to realize it was his throat that was sore from screaming.

His time on the mountain was a blur. He’d lost track of the days that had passed, the hours that had gone by while he watched a pair of hawks flying high in the sky. He’d dragged himself down the mountain, inch by painful inch, with no particular destination in mind. Thankfully, he’d eventually come across a cabin tucked into the woods. It was actually the garden offering fresh vegetables that had caught his eye. He’d been helping himself to fresh tomatoes and cucumbers when Jolene and Ken Thornhill had found him.

Ken had carried a shotgun, but one look at Hawk’s scars had him putting the weapon away. Hawk had convinced them not to call the authorities, and the couple, being mountain people and distrustful of the cops anyway, had readily agreed. The Thornhills helped get him back on his feet. Their home remedies worked just as well as any hospital-based therapy.

Except for the scar.

And when the men with guns had come looking for him, they’d hidden him in their root cellar until they were gone. Hawk was convinced the men were soldiers sent by Barton to find him and silence him for good. Especially since the plane had gone down after conveniently springing a fuel leak.

He owed the Thornhills his life. But they hadn’t wanted any form of payment. He’d sent them cash when he’d managed to work enough to get some, but the money had come back to him as undeliverable.

Shaking himself from thoughts of the past, he carried the bowl of oatmeal to the table and set it in front of Jillian. She hadn’t said anything for the past several minutes and, even now, avoided looking directly at him.

“Eat,” he encouraged softly. “You’ll need to keep up your strength.”

She obediently picked up the spoon and took a small bite. Lizzy chose that moment to come out of the bedroom rubbing her sleepy eyes, looking adorable in her pink footie pajamas.

“I hav’ta go potty.”

“Sure. This way, sweetie.” Jillian jumped up from the table and crossed over to their daughter, steering her into the bathroom.

Hawk put the kettle back on to boil, hoping Lizzy liked oatmeal. He had no idea what his daughter liked to eat or her favorite things to do. He’d noticed a dollhouse in the corner of her bedroom and now wished he’d thought to bring some of the dolls along for her to play with.

At least she had her teddy bear. The one she’d clutched protectively as he’d pulled her from beneath the bed.

He glanced at his watch, estimating how much time they had before they needed to hit the road. Less than an hour. Doable, but only if Jillian and Lizzy finished their breakfast ASAP.

The teakettle whistled as Jillian and Lizzy emerged from the bathroom. Lizzy clapped her hands over her ears.

“Too loud!”

Hawk winced, nodded and moved the kettle, adding hot water to two more bowls of oatmeal. Then he carried them to the kitchen table, setting one down near Jillian’s bowl and taking his to the other side.

Jillian lifted Lizzy onto her lap. It pained him to know Lizzy wouldn’t want to sit with him. As he watched, Jillian bowed her head and softly thanked God for the food she was about to eat. He was reminded of how the Callahans always prayed out loud before meals, but he’d never joined in.

No one spoke for several long moments as they ate. And it was Lizzy who eventually broke the silence.

“Can we go home, Mommy?”

The question hit him in the face like a blow. He looked at Jillian, unsure if he should speak up or not.

“Not today, sweetie.” Jillian hitched the little girl higher on her lap. “Finish up your oatmeal like a good girl.”

“We can try to find a place that’s kid-friendly,” he offered. “I know a place that rents individual cabins. It’s not too far away and has a playground I’m sure Lizzy would love.”

Jillian shrugged. “Whatever you think is best. We’ll make the most of wherever we end up, won’t we Lizzy-girl?”

Lizzy nodded her head, her drooping pigtails bobbing up and down. His daughter’s hair was dark, like his, without any sign of Jillian’s reddish glints. But the rest of her features were mirror images of her mother’s. She’d be just as beautiful as Jillian someday.

He finished his meal before they did and carried his dishes to the sink. “We’ll need to leave soon.”

“Okay.” Jillian’s voice sounded resigned.

There was no point in saying anything further; moving again was necessary in order to keep them alive. And while he still felt terrible knowing that he’d brought danger to their doorstep, the only thing he could do now was to stay ahead of the danger curve.

He took his turn in the bathroom, spending less than ten minutes. He heard Jillian and Lizzy’s voices in their bedroom and hoped they were getting their things together.

Thankfully, Jillian had done the dishes, so there was nothing more that needed his attention. He pulled on his leather coat, grabbed his keys and waited, gazing out through the large picture window of the living room.

A movement outside caught his attention. He froze, his gaze tracking the shifting of leaves and the sudden uprising of a bird from the bushes.

Too late! They’d found the cabin.

He hurried into the bedroom as Jillian was trying to coax the teddy bear from Lizzy’s grip. “We need to go. Get your coats, leave the duffel behind. We’re heading out the back.”

“The back?” The confusion in Jillian’s green gaze morphed into fear. She instantly yanked the bear away, shoved Lizzy’s coat on, then hers, before lifting Lizzy into her arms. She returned the teddy bear hoping the stuffed animal would help keep Lizzy calm. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “They’re here?”

He nodded, gently pulling her toward him. Ushering her into his bedroom and to the back doorway he had built in there just for this type of thing, he considered their options. First, they needed to get out of the cabin and deeper into the woods without leaving a blatant footprint trail behind. Using the SUV was out of the question; the hostiles were too close. He’d have to make do with the snowmobile he had hidden in the woods toward the back of his property.

Outside, the December air was crisp and cool despite the sunshine. Keeping Jillian in front of him, he covered their backs as he guided them into the woods. He could tell Jillian was trying to move silently, but to his ears it sounded as if they were a stampede of elephants announcing their location to anyone within a fifty-mile radius. He worried, too, about leaving footprints in the snow. The snow wasn’t deep and there were spots where there were leafy areas to step on as a way to mitigate the risk.

Thankfully, Lizzy didn’t say anything but kept her head tucked against her mother’s shoulder, still gripping the tattered teddy bear. He wished the little girl trusted him enough to allow him to carry her, knowing they’d be able to move more quickly. But he didn’t want to risk her tears.

Knowing the woods helped. Prior to renting the house next to Jillian’s he’d spent a lot of time up here. The place had reminded him of the Thornhill cabin in the mountains.

The cluster of bushes he’d been aiming for was straight ahead. He picked up his pace, moving ahead. Jillian did her best to keep up, but her foot got caught on a branch. He managed to catch her before she hit the ground.