“What did your family think of that?” Another thought formed. “Or Vera’s family?”
There was that flash in her eyes again. A mixture of sadness and fear. “Neither of us have any family. Vera had worked for the circus. That’s how she got to Chicago. And she didn’t have any family to return to.”
Jack wanted to know about her. Helen. But a gut sense said she wouldn’t answer any questions about herself. He stood up and picked up the bag once again full of mail. “Is the circus how she met Joe?”
“Yes. He was a magician.”
Jack had already known that as well. Joe had perfected several magic tricks over the years, and had used them to land more than one job. After opening the closet, he set the bag inside. “Had he continued on with the circus? Left when it moved on?”
“No. Vera said they both stayed in Chicago. That Jack had gotten a job at one of the playhouses for a short time, but then had to return here and said he would send for her. That’s when he gave her this address and said she was to contact him here if she needed anything.”
Of course Joe did. That’s what he’d always done. Passed the buck.
Jack closed the door and stood there for a moment. The baby had started to fuss and Helen was scooping her off the couch. That baby was his niece. Joe’s baby, and as inadvertent as that may be, Grace was now his responsibility.
The mess with the Broadbents was nothing compared to this. What the hell was he going to do?
“I’ll pay you,” he said as the thought formed.
“Excuse me?”
It might not be the ultimate answer, but it would do for now. “I’ll pay you to continue to take care of Grace.”
She glanced at the baby, and then up at him. Sorrow filled her eyes as she sadly shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Why? You have been since she was born.”
“Because I promised Vera I’d bring her here. And I have.”
She had all right, and that could open a can of worms that could take him down. It would be all the Wagner brothers needed to convince the owners of the new theater to break his contract and go with them.
Right now, it was just the two of them, Julia and Miss Hobbs who knew about Grace. He had to keep it that way.
“Just until I find Joe.” Then he could send them to Florida, or to wherever Joe was. Let his brother take responsibility for his own actions this time.
She glanced down and the smile she provided the baby might very well be the most precious and beautiful smile he’d seen to date. But then, she closed her eyes and bit her lips together. When she lifted her lids, looked at him, tears had welled in her eyes again. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”
Money. It had to be the money. Traveling here had probably taken all she’d had. He didn’t have much to spare himself, but he did have a bank account that he’d been depositing any royalties owed to Joe from past projects, knowing Joe would return some day and want it. Expect it.
He hadn’t used that money to pay the Broadbents because Joe had sold them shares in future projects, not past, but he would use Joe’s money for this, his daughter. And not feel guilty about it.
He had no idea what it cost to take care of a baby, so merely said, “Whatever it costs, I’ll pay you.”
She kissed the baby on the head. He let out a sigh of relief and pulled his billfold out of his pocket. To his shame, he had only a few dollars on him. Pulling them out, he said, “I’ll go to the bank and get more tomorrow.”
She laid the baby back down on the couch and picked up her purse. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. For Grace’s sake, I can’t.” Turning about, she started for the door.
“Wait! You can’t leave!” He started after her, but a crunch beneath his foot made him pause. Her glasses. He’d broken them. She was already out the door. “Wait!”
* * *
Tears once again blurred Helen’s vision. This time it wasn’t just heartache, there was anger inside her, too. Anger that her life would never be her own. No matter where she went. She couldn’t continue to put Grace in danger. That’s all there was to it.
A baby’s cry—Grace’s—made her feet stumble, but she forced herself to keep moving forward. Down the hall. In Chicago, after leaving her cousin’s house, she’d gone to the edge of the city, where she thought the lack of large businesses would make the mob not as prevalent. That hadn’t been true. The neighbor of Amery’s grocery store hadn’t been run by the Outfit. It had been a smaller mob, one that oversaw little more than the bootlegging of whiskey to the area speakeasies. But nonetheless, they’d been there. Mobsters in big fancy cars, their mugs on street corners.
It was there, late at night, looking out the windows of the grocery store that she’d concluded that there was no getting out. Not for her. Any one of those thugs could have been a stool pigeon for her uncle.
Grace was still crying, and Helen balled her hands into fists as she neared the door of the studio.
She’d created many disguises for herself over the past two years, everything from a young boy to an old woman, but hadn’t been able to carry much besides Grace all the way to the railroad station. Therefore, she’d left most everything behind. Other than the drab dresses, head scarves and her glasses.
Her glasses. She’d taken them off because it had been too hard to see the writing on the envelopes. Spinning about, she hurried back toward the hallway.
She told herself it was to get the glasses, that she had to have them, but the moment she stepped into the office door, she knew the real reason. Grace was still crying and Jack stood next to the couch. The bottle in one hand, a can of milk in the other.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he said, looking at her hopelessly.
Helen hurried forward. “You start by picking her up.” She did just that, and snuggled Grace close to comfort her. “Once she’s calmed down, you can see to what she needs, whether it’s a diaper change or a bottle.”
“How do you know the difference?” he asked.
She shrugged. “If her diaper is dry, you fix a bottle. If it’s wet, you change her.”
He shook his head. “I can’t do this. I can’t.” Holding up the can of milk, he added, “I don’t even have a can opener.”
“There is one in the bag,” Helen said, carefully laying Grace down on the couch. The baby was no longer crying but a diaper change was definitely in order. The bag and most of its former contents were spread out on the floor near her feet. After picking up a clean diaper, Helen asked, “Where is the powder room?”
“Next door down the hall, on the right.” He met her gaze. “Thank you for coming back. Thank you very much.”
Earlier, while sitting on the floor next to him, she’d caught herself staring at him. More than once. Couldn’t seem to help it. He was extremely handsome, with his blond hair that flopped over his forehead and his dark eyes.
He had the kind of handsomeness that made people stop in their tracks and take a second look. She’d heard about that more than seen it. In fact, she may never have seen it, and truly only heard about it from Vera. That’s how she’d described Joe McCarney. Stop-in-your-tracks handsome.
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, and bent down to pick up Grace. “We’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here.”
She found the powder room and as she saw to changing Grace, she couldn’t help but wonder who would see that the diaper was properly washed, or that the bottles and nipples were cleaned after each use, or all of the other things that needed to be done to see to the care of a baby. She hadn’t known any of those things in the beginning, but did now, and had cherished doing all of them.
It had been a long time since she’d had someone to love. Grace had filled that hole since the moment she’d been born. She’d told herself from the beginning that Grace wasn’t hers to love, that her only duty to the baby was to find her father.
She hadn’t done that.
She hadn’t fulfilled her promise to Vera. The promises she’d made to Grace.
Despite her fears, she couldn’t leave. She’d tried twice, and couldn’t do it. Giving Grace a hug, she whispered, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, no matter what, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
She left the powder room with more resolve than she’d had in a long time. Jack was still in the office, had returned all of Grace’s items to the bag and had it sitting on his desk.