A Ranch to Call Home

“Fine, but I think we don’t need that big a TV again. It seems a bit extreme.” That brought both of them up short.

Gramps opened his mouth, but Joel beat him to the punch. “Just do it in the afternoon, Sis. We need to care for the stock.”

“Not a problem.” Kaye swallowed her grin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the mirth in Caleb’s face. This wasn’t the first time she’d maneuvered around obstinate men.

* * *

Kaye couldn’t sleep. Each time she closed her eyes, the smell of burned wood filled her lungs, reminding her of her flashback and the horror of cresting that last hill and seeing her home on fire. Or of a burning café in Baghdad.

She threw back the covers and scrambled out of bed, looking around for her beat-up jeans. She threw off her sleep shirt, slipped on her army-issued T-shirt and her running shoes and headed for the barn. She needed to check on Midnight. They’d both had a tough day.

Slipping out the kitchen door, she noticed that the moon washed the charred remains of the porch in silver light. It didn’t look as stark in moonlight, but with daylight the ugly scars would be there again.

She identified with that. She looked okay from the outside, but if you shone sunlight on her, you could see the burned and damaged parts. Her legs were crossed with cuts and burns, and she had massive scars from the surgery.

When she walked into the barn, the warm, comforting scent of horse filled her lungs, replacing the biting, charred smell of wood. She walked down the stalls and stopped at Midnight’s. She slipped inside and softly crooned to the horse. Midnight woke and turned to her.

“Sorry, girl, for waking you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Obviously, you are.” Kaye rubbed the horse’s muzzle. The horse snorted and nodded her head. Kaye slipped out of the stall, grabbed a curry brush and went back inside. “I didn’t mean to freak out on you.” With long strokes she worked the brush over the horse’s flank. “This time was... There weren’t words for this afternoon.”

That fact rattled Kaye. And of course, that memory was joined by other hidden memories lurking in this house. All the joy and laughter of her childhood drowned out by the sorrow that had reigned those last months of high school. She’d tried to remain numb her last months home, but thoughts of her folks had kept ambushing her. Her mom wasn’t there to help her pick out a dress for prom if she’d gone, and her dad didn’t get to see her graduate. Grandma never showed her how to make her special Chess pie. They were all gone in an instant.

Her hand stilled on Midnight’s side as she tried to catch her breath. “Lord, I’m drowning. I need something to hold on to. What am I going to do?”

She heard Razor in the next stall. She looked at Midnight and whispered, “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Kaye slipped out of Midnight’s stall and walked to Razor’s half door. “I don’t think you’re who God sent, my friend.” Putting down the curry brush on the half door, she rubbed the horse’s nose.

“I don’t know. Razor’s a godsend for a lot of cowboys.”

Instinct took over and she dropped to a crouch, ready to fight. Caleb stood at the barn’s side door. She relaxed, then tensed, wondering how much of her conversation had he heard. Well, she’d just gut her way through. “What are you doing up?”

“I could ask the same.” Caleb walked toward her. “I heard someone out here, then Razor moving, so I came to investigate. With all that’s happened today, I thought it wise.” He had on jeans, a T-shirt and flip-flops. He walked to her side. “You couldn’t sleep, either?”

“Yeah.”

She needed to thank him for helping her through the storm and not mentioning it to her family. As she searched for the best way to say it, he said, “Things around here haven’t been dull. I think there’s more excitement than Joel, Gramps or I could’ve come up with.

“Putting out fires and lifting tractors wasn’t something I imagined doing when I came to spend a little time with Joel and Gramps.” His grin punctuated his words.

“Does that mean you’re going to desert us?” She tried to force as much lightness as she could into the words, but they sounded desperate to her ears.

His expression lost all humor. “No. I promised you I’d help, and I keep my promises.”

Instantly, she knew this man had been let down by someone he trusted and would not break his word.

“Have you changed your mind about working as the pick-up rider?”

“No. But I could recommend someone.”

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” She paused, wanting to find the right words. “Thank you for not saying anything to Joel and Gramps about what happened out there in the storm.” She swallowed. “That lightning strike was so much like... I heard the boom and felt that pressure and sizzle and suddenly...”

“You don’t have to explain.”

Kaye closed her eyes and nodded, shamed by her weakness. And she wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about her memories.

Razor butted her shoulder, throwing her off balance. Caleb caught her. She looked up into his face, and for an instant there was that connection again. Their moment was spoiled when Razor butted her once more. The horse’s persistence made her smile. “Is he always so contrary?”

“I warned you about him.”

She picked up the curry brush, walked into the stall and began brushing him.

Caleb laughed. “You, my friend,” he addressed Razor, “know how to manipulate folks.”

“No, he’s not a manipulator. Razor is honest in what he wants, unlike my ex-husband.” The words were out of her mouth before she thought about them. Her loose lips shocked her. Well, she certainly was airing all her dirty laundry today, wasn’t she?

Caleb continued to stroke Razor’s nose. “You’re right. Razor’s honest in what he wants and doesn’t choose to hurt others to satisfy his own needs.”

Ah, he’d been hurt, too.

Kaye continued to brush the horse but refused to look at him again, knowing that they’d both said too much.

After several minutes of silence, she looked up. Caleb was nowhere to be seen. She didn’t know how to feel. How was she going to face him tomorrow?

* * *

By the time she walked into the kitchen at eight in the morning, Caleb and Joel were long gone. Someone had taken down the old coffeepot that her grandmother used, plugged it in and there was coffee. She’d spent the night fighting different nightmares. Finally, around four o’clock, she started praying and the last thing she remembered was singing “Amazing Grace” in her mind.

“’Bout time you hauled yourself outta bed,” Gramps mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. “You army folks get up this late?”

“Good morning to you, too.” She brushed a kiss across his purplish cheek. “I’m glad you found Grandma’s coffeepot.”

His eyes took on a faraway look. “I remember the first time she made coffee in that pot. Your ma was only a teenager.” He shook off the sad feeling. “Your brother and Caleb made coffee and peanut-butter sandwiches and left.”

The blown toaster sitting beside the coffeepot had belonged to Grandma, too. After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she sat at the table and slowly looked around the kitchen, taking in her mother’s stove and refrigerator. The blender and expensive freestanding mixer had thankfully survived since they weren’t plugged in. Mom had saved for six months to get that mixer.

Gramps put the bread and peanut butter on the table. “You might as well make yourself a sandwich.” He sat down beside her. “You okay, girl?”

Her head snapped up. “Why would you ask?”

Gramps grabbed her hand. “’Cause my face looks better than yours.”

She winced and opened her mouth to argue, but she understood what Gramps was saying. “The stove, refrigerator—they were all picked out by Mom and Grandma.”

Gramps folded his hand over hers. “They’re just things.”

“But there’s memories,” she whispered, her throat closing up.

“True, and to be sure they’re good ones, Brenda Lynn, but they are only things. We needed to replace half those things before nature took care of that. You should cherish those memories, girl, but you gotta make peace with them.”