The Nanny's Secret Baby

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said. Right now, he felt like just a struggling dad and was glad to have a relative to vent to, someone who seemed to care about Sammy almost as much as he did.

She tilted her head to one side. “This could be a God thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need a job,” she said slowly. “And you need a nanny.”

He saw where she was going and let his eyes close. “Look, Arianna, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But I just don’t think—”

“Don’t think, then,” she said.

“But I’m responsible for—”

“Don’t think—pray.” She stood smoothly, leaned down and ran a finger across Sammy’s shoulders—which he normally hated, but accepted from Arianna with just an upward glance—and then walked toward her car.

“Arianna...”

“Don’t answer now. Pray about it,” she called over her shoulder. “See you at church tomorrow.”

* * *

The next morning, Arianna thought about how much she loved art. One reason was the way it distracted you from your problems. It had distracted little Suzy Li from missing her mom, right here in the second-grade Sunday school class, and it had distracted Arianna from thinking about her own ridiculous offer to Jack DeMoise the day before.

“I’m sorry Suzy got a little paint on her shirt,” she said to Mrs. Li as Suzy tugged her mom’s hand, pulling her over to look at the picture she’d painted, now drying on a clothesline with the rest of the primary kids’ paintings.

“I’m just thrilled she made it through the whole class,” Mrs. Li said in between hugging Suzy and admiring her picture. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to stay for a whole church service. What a big girl you were, Suzy!”

“I missed you, Mommy.” Suzy wrapped her arms around her mother. “But Miss Arianna said I was brave.”

Mrs. Li smiled at Arianna. Thank you, she mouthed.

Arianna was glad she’d helped, but she felt a pang; she couldn’t deny it. It was fun and rewarding to get her kid fix through helping with Sunday school, but in the end, those precious little ones wanted their own mommies. In the end, Arianna went home alone.

Fortunately, there was no time to dwell on what she didn’t have. Sunny and Skye, the pastor’s twins, needed their hands washed before heading out with their mom, who introduced herself as Lily. “Don’t worry about it,” Lily said as Arianna tried to scrub off the paint that had inexplicably splattered both twins’ arms. “As long as they’re happy, it’s fine.”

“That’s what I said.” Kayla, the main teacher of the primary-age kids and the mother of one of them, Leo, came over, and she and Lily hugged. “Kids are supposed to get messy and have fun.”

Yeah, they were right about kids, Arianna thought, but what about her? When was she going to grow up and stop getting messy? She wet a paper towel and used it to wipe the biggest smudge from her cheek. The green streak in her hair was probably there to stay, at least until she could get back to her temporary home and shower.

“Hey, Dr. D,” Kayla said and went to the door to greet Jack, who was leaning in with Sammy parked on his hip. Arianna sucked in a breath. He was good-looking to begin with, but when he smiled, he was breathtaking.

Finn Gallagher, Kayla’s husband, showed up and sidled past Jack into the classroom. He reached out to Kayla and gently rubbed her shoulders, his eyes crinkling. She smiled up at him, love and happiness written all over her face.

Arianna’s chest tugged. What would it be like to have someone touch you as if you were infinitely precious? Someone with whom to share your deepest thoughts, your hopes and dreams, your secrets?

But she couldn’t tell anyone her deepest secrets, not and have them look at her the way Finn looked at Kayla. An out-of-wedlock pregnancy wasn’t that uncommon, and there were plenty of people who took it in stride, raised the child and got on with their lives. Arianna wished she was that person, but she wasn’t. Not given her family and the way she was raised.

As a result, she’d given away her child...and lied about it.

Jack was still standing at the half door. “Are you coming to the church lunch?” he asked her abruptly.

She hesitated. The church had a lunch after services every Sunday, for members and anyone in the community who needed a free meal or fellowship. She should go, since she was trying to make some kind of a life here. “Um, I guess.”

“Good. I’ll see you there.” And he was off.

What did that mean? That he wanted to see her, have lunch with her, hang out, accept her offer of helping with Sammy? Or that he wanted to let her down easy?

She blew out a sigh as she wiped down the tables where the kids had been painting. Thanks to an abundance of newspapers, cleanup wasn’t that difficult, but she found herself lingering, carefully putting things away in a most uncharacteristic way.

She knew why she was stalling: she didn’t want to go to the lunch and face Jack. Not after she’d made such a ridiculous offer.

Why had she suggested—again—that she could serve as Sammy’s nanny when Jack clearly didn’t want her to? Had she turned into one of those desperate women who couldn’t take no for an answer?

Jack was kind and he would be nice about it, but rejection was rejection. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

But, oh, for the chance to take care of her son, even briefly! To get to know him, to help him, to watch him grow.

No, said the stern voice in her head. She didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t for her.

She was tempted to just skip the lunch and go home, avoiding Jack altogether, except she didn’t have a home, not really. Aunt Justine and Uncle Steve had been kind to take her in, and hospitable, but trying to make space for another person in their crowded home was putting a strain on their relationship. She could see it. The more hours she could stay away the better.

Which pointed to her other problem: she needed to make new living arrangements. It was just that she didn’t know whether to make them here or somewhere else.

Meanwhile, she’d get her aunt and uncle take-out meals from the church lunch, she decided. It was so hard to cook anything in their kitchen, piled high with appliance boxes and recycling and newspapers. It wasn’t much, but a good meal from the church would be a small token of her gratitude to them.

Penny caught up with her and walked alongside. “You doing okay? You look a little blue.”

She couldn’t tell Penny the big reason, of course. “Just thinking about my living situation,” she said as they walked into the fellowship hall, where the meal was already being served. “I’m wearing out my welcome at my aunt and uncle’s place, but I’m on a tight budget until I find more work.”

“Hmm, that’s tough.” And then Penny snapped her fingers and stared at her. “You know what? The pastor was right. With God all things are possible.”

“Oh, I know that’s true—”

Penny interrupted her. “No, seriously. I just got a brainstorm.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve got a mother-in-law apartment upstairs at my house on the ranch, and I’ve been meaning to clean it out and fix it up forever. You’re energetic and artsy. How would you like to stay there for the next few weeks? Rent-free, if you’ll clean it and fix it up nice, so I can rent it out at the end of the summer.”

Arianna’s jaw dropped. “That would be so perfect!”

And then the other ramifications of Penny’s offer rushed into her mind.

She could live so close to Sammy. Across the lawn, basically.

But how would Jack feel about that? Would she appear to be stalking him?

Penny was studying her face and no doubt saw her mixed feelings. “You think about it,” she said. “There’s no need to decide today.”