Lord Kilgobbin

It is a not infrequent distress in small households, especially when some miles from a market-town, to make adequate preparation for an unexpected guest at dinner; but even this is a very inferior difficulty to that experienced by those who have to order the repast in conformity with certain rigid notions of a guest who will criticise the smallest deviation from the most humble standard, and actually rebuke the slightest pretension to delicacy of food or elegance of table-equipage.

No sooner, then, had Kate learned that Miss O’Shea was to remain for dinner, than she immediately set herself to think over all the possible reductions that might be made in the fare, and all the plainness and simplicity that could be imparted to the service of the meal.

Napkins had not been the sole reform suggested by the Greek cousin. She had introduced flowers on the table, and so artfully had she decked out the board with fruit and ornamental plants, that she had succeeded in effecting by artifice what would have been an egregious failure if more openly attempted – the service of the dishes one by one to the guests without any being placed on the table. These, with finger-glasses, she had already achieved, nor had she in the recesses of her heart given up the hope of seeing the day that her uncle would rise from the table as she did, give her his arm to the drawing-room, and bow profoundly as he left her. Of the inestimable advantages, social, intellectual, and moral, of this system, she had indeed been cautious to hold forth; for, like a great reformer, she was satisfied to leave her improvements to the slow test of time, ‘educating her public,’ as a great authority has called it, while she bided the result in patience.

Indeed, as poor Mathew Kearney was not to be indulged with the luxury of whisky-punch during his dinner, it was not easy to reply to his question, ‘When am I to have my tumbler?’ as though he evidently believed the aforesaid ‘tumbler’ was an institution that could not be abrogated or omitted altogether.

Coffee in the drawing-room was only a half-success so long as the gentlemen sat over their wine; and as for the daily cigarette Nina smoked with it, Kate, in her simplicity, believed it was only done as a sort of protest at being deserted by those unnatural protectors who preferred poteen to ladies.

It was therefore in no small perturbation of mind that Kate rushed to her cousin’s room with the awful tidings that Miss Betty had arrived and intended to remain for dinner.

‘Do you mean that odious woman with the boy and band-box behind her on horseback?’ asked Nina superciliously.

‘Yes, she always travels in that fashion; she is odd and eccentric in scores of things, but a fine-hearted, honest woman, generous to the poor, and true to her friends.’

‘I don’t care for her moral qualities, but I do bargain for a little outward decency, and some respect for the world’s opinion.’

‘You will like her, Nina, when you know her.’

‘I shall profit by the warning. I’ll take care not to know her.’

‘She is one of the oldest, I believe the oldest, friend our family has in the world.’

‘What a sad confession, child; but I have always deplored longevity.’

‘Don’t be supercilious or sarcastic, Nina, but help me with your own good sense and wise advice. She has not come over in the best of humours. She has, or fancies she has, some difference to settle with papa. They seldom meet without a quarrel, and I fear this occasion is to be no exception; so do aid me to get things over pleasantly, if it be possible.’

‘She snubbed me the only time I met her. I tried to help her off with her bonnet, and, unfortunately, I displaced, if I did not actually remove, her wig, and she muttered something “about a rope-dancer not being a dexterous lady’s-maid.”’

‘O Nina, surely you do not mean – ’

‘Not that I was exactly a rope-dancer, Kate, but I had on a Greek jacket that morning of blue velvet and gold, and a white skirt, and perhaps these had some memories of the circus for the old lady.’

‘You are only jesting now, Nina.’

‘Don’t you know me well enough to know that I never jest when I think, or even suspect, I am injured?’

‘Injured!’

‘It’s not the word I wanted, but it will do; I used it in its French sense.’

‘You bear no malice, I’m sure?’ said the other caressingly.

‘No!’ replied she, with a shrug that seemed to deprecate even having a thought about her.

‘She will stay for dinner, and we must, as far as possible, receive her in the way she has been used to here, a very homely dinner, served as she has always seen it – no fruit or flowers on the table, no claret-cup, no finger-glasses.’

‘I hope no tablecloth; couldn’t we have a tray on a corner table, and every one help himself as he strolled about the room?’

‘Dear Nina, be reasonable just for this once.’

‘I’ll come down just as I am, or, better still, I’ll take down my hair and cram it into a net; I’d oblige her with dirty hands, if I only knew how to do it.’

‘I see you only say these things in jest; you really do mean to help me through this difficulty.’

‘But why a difficulty? what reason can you offer for all this absurd submission to the whims of a very tiresome old woman? Is she very rich, and do you expect an heritage?’

‘No, no; nothing of the kind.’

‘Does she load you with valuable presents? Is she ever ready to commemorate birthdays and family festivals?’

‘No.’

‘Has she any especial quality or gift beyond riding double and a bad temper? Oh, I was forgetting; she is the aunt of her nephew, isn’t she? – the dashing lancer that was to spend his summer over here?’

‘You were indeed forgetting when you said this,’ said Kate proudly, and her face grew scarlet as she spoke.

‘Tell me that you like him or that he likes you; tell me that there is something, anything, between you, child, and I’ll be discreet and mannerly, too; and more, I’ll behave to the old lady with every regard to one who holds such dear interests in her keeping. But don’t bandage my eyes, and tell me at the same time to look out and see.’

‘I have no confidences to make you,’ said Kate coldly. ‘I came here to ask a favour – a very small favour, after all – and you might have accorded it without question or ridicule.’

‘But which you never need have asked, Kate,’ said the other gravely. ‘You are the mistress here; I am but a very humble guest. Your orders are obeyed, as they ought to be; my suggestions may be adopted now and then – partly in caprice, part compliment – but I know they have no permanence, no more take root here than – than myself.’

‘Do not say that, my dearest Nina,’ said Kate, as she threw herself on her neck and kissed her affectionately again and again. ‘You are one of us, and we are all proud of it. Come along with me, now, and tell me all that you advise. You know what I wish, and you will forgive me even in my stupidity.’

‘Where’s your brother?’ asked Nina hastily.

‘Gone out with his gun. He’ll not be back till he is certain Miss Betty has taken her departure.’

‘Why did he not offer to take me with him?’

‘Over the bog, do you mean?’

‘Anywhere; I’d not cavil about the road. Don’t you know that I have days when “don’t care” masters me – when I’d do anything, go anywhere – ’

‘Marry any one?’ said the other, laughing.

‘Yes, marry any one, as irresponsibly as if I was dealing with the destiny of some other that did not regard me. On these days I do not belong to myself, and this is one of them.’

‘I know nothing of such humours, Nina; nor do I believe it a healthy mind that has them.’

‘I did not boast of my mind’s health, nor tell you to trust to it. Come, let us go down to the dinner-room, and talk that pleasant leg-of-mutton talk you know you are fond of.’

‘And best fitted for, say that,’ said Kate, laughing merrily.

The other did not seem to have heard her words, for she moved slowly away, calling on Kate to follow her.

CHAPTER XXI