The Texan's Christmas

He knew what she was talking about now. He didn’t have to ask—the past.

“Okay. I screwed up. I’m…”

“Don’t say the words and make a mockery of my intelligence. Just don’t say them.”

She was full of anger and all of it was directed at him. “I know you’re upset, but it’s been twenty years.”

“And I’ve lived every moment of it.”

There was a lot of emotion behind those words that he didn’t understand. “What are you talking about?”

“Just stay the hell out of my life.”

She made to get in the pickup, but he held the door, very aware she still had the gun in her hand. “Come on, Lucky.”

The supposed magical words didn’t have the old effect they used to. She eased back against the truck, her eyes as hard as he’d ever seen them.

“I’m going to give you a good reason to stay out of my life.”

“I know…”

“You know nothing.” She waved the gun. “Do you remember saying ‘I love you, Lucky’? ‘We’ll get married. I’ll call. I’ll write. We’ll be together, I promise.’”

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard. “I said all that and I meant it.”

“Unfortunately, I thought you meant it, too.”

“Lucky…”

She raised the gun. “I’m not through talking. I waited every day for you to call, but you didn’t. When I left for Austin, I told Dad to contact me the moment you phoned. Stupid me, I actually believed you still would. I was so stressed out with you leaving and then not calling I didn’t realize I’d missed my period. Twice. I prayed I wasn’t pregnant, but I was—three months.”

What! The ground beneath his feet moved.

“I couldn’t call my dad or come home because I was ashamed and couldn’t face anyone. I had to drop out of school because they didn’t accept pregnant girls in the program because you have to work long hours on your feet. It was a liability thing. I’m sure it’s different today. They refunded my money and I lived on that until I got a job at Walmart to put food in my mouth. I couldn’t afford a doctor so I had to go to a free clinic. I wanted my baby to be born healthy so I tried to do everything I was supposed to. I started having contractions a month early so I drove myself to an indigent hospital. They said I wasn’t far enough along and to come back when the contractions were closer together. When I reached my apartment, the pain became severe and I asked my neighbor to drive me to the hospital again. She couldn’t stay because she had kids. By the time they saw me the placenta had separated from the baby and he was deprived of oxygen. He was dead. He died…”

“Luc-ky.”

“Shut up. I’m not through.” She pointed the gun at his face. “He was a beautiful baby boy and I got to hold him for a few minutes. I was in a room with three other women, but I was all alone. They had families. I had no one. I dealt with the gut-wrenching pain alone while you were in Lubbock County trying to lay every woman in sight. I feel the pain of his death every day. I feel the pain of your betrayal every day. So don’t talk to me about anger because I’d just as soon shoot you, you low-down bastard.”

She jumped into her truck and tore out of the parking lot, spewing gravel across his chest.

Oh, my God! His knees gave way and he sank into the rocks as a pain like he’d never known before slashed through him. The spotlight was clearly on him and his sins, but it wasn’t the one in the parking lot. It was from above, exposing the guilt that had haunted him for years.

They’d had a child. A son.

He’d let Lucky down and, God help him, he’d let their baby down.

How did he live with that?

CHAPTER FOUR

LUCKY DROVE STEADILY HOME, breathing heavily.

A tear slipped from her eye and she slapped it away.

She wouldn’t cry.

Kid Hardin would not make her cry.

Lights flashed behind her and she pulled over. She knew it was Travis because she’d called him about the cowboys before she’d gone outside to confront them. Turning off the engine, she wiped her face with the back of her hands. Why was it wet? She wasn’t crying.

Drawing a deep breath, she got out of the pickup. The moon was bright and she could see Travis strolling toward her.

“There’s a man kneeling in the gravel back there. What happened?”

“The cowboys were waiting for me. They flirted and drank most of the evening. No big amounts of cash, though. I gave you time and then I went to my truck. They were there, but Kid Hardin interrupted.”

“Of the oil Hardins?”

“Yes.” Her stomach clenched.

“What was he doing there? Is he hurt?”

“I supposed he came to see me. I didn’t know he was there until Clyde grabbed my arm and they got into a fight.”

She could feel his eyes boring into her. “There’s a lot more to this story than you’re telling me.”

“Kid and I have a past, but he won’t be coming back.”

There was silence for a moment and the warmth of the night seemed to calm her shattered nerves.

“I knew there was someone,” he said, startling her, “but I sense you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“No.” That was the last thing she wanted. Kid was out of her life for good now.

“I’m worried about you. You’re taking risks that you shouldn’t. You’re not ever to confront the criminals, especially alone.”

“I knew you were on the way.”

“That’s not the point. It’s not worth you getting hurt.”

“Okay, I screwed up, but I didn’t want them coming back inside. They were too drunk to drive so I called Walker, the constable, and he notified the highway patrol. They’re probably being arrested as we speak. There might be some evidence in their truck.”

“I’ll follow up on it. Your safety is my main concern and I don’t want a repeat of what happened tonight.”

“Okay, Travis, I get the message.”

He sighed. “Lucky, you’re so consumed with your job that it worries me. Do you even have a private life?”