The Cowboy's Return

“The solar system you were working on, did you finish it?”

“Ah…ah…I…” Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry…Mama…I’m sorry.”

Camila guided her to a chair at the table, then she sat beside her. “What are you sorry about?”

“I did something and…” She leveled a teary glance at Camila. “You know I wasn’t at Kerri’s, don’t you?”

Camila nodded, glad her daughter wasn’t going to lie further, and wondering why she’d had to in the first place. They were always able to talk about anything. But evidently there was something bothering Jilly that Camila didn’t know about. “I called to see if you wanted a ride home.”

Jilly winced. “Were you mad cause I wasn’t there?”

“No, just worried. Why did you lie to me?”

Jilly twisted her hands. “You’re going to be mad now.”

“Why?”

“Because I did something and I should have told you first.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I knew you wouldn’t let me do it.”

“I see,” Camila murmured, getting a bad feeling in her stomach. “What did you do?”

“Remember you said I could do something special for my birthday?”

“Yes.”

“When I saw Mr. Daniels’s picture in the paper, I wondered if my daddy looked like him and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to see…to see what my daddy’s brother looked like in person.”

“Jilly, you didn’t.”

“Yes. I went to see Mr. Daniels.”

That bad feeling exploded into tiny pinpricks all over Camila’s body, leaving her nauseous and weak, but she had to concentrate on her daughter and not a past that she’d managed to put behind her. Yet sometimes that past had the power to make her feel frightened and alone, as she had when she was seventeen.

She gathered herself. “You should have told me what you were thinking.”

“I didn’t want to upset you,” Jilly mumbled.

“It upsets me more when you lie to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Camila scooted closer and caught Jilly’s hands. “If you wanted to see your father’s family, I wouldn’t have said no. But they’ve made no attempt over the years and my only concern is you getting hurt.”

“I wish I hadn’t gone,” Jilly mumbled again.

The pinpricks turned to a cold chill, but she had to know what her daughter meant, “What happened?”

“Kerri and I rode over there on our bikes and the place is really run down and kind of spooky.”

“I heard the Danielses are having a difficult time.”

“It’s like nobody lives there and I was so scared, but I knocked anyway and Morris answered the door. I had to ask three times if I could speak with Mr. Daniels before he heard me. Then he came and his hair was a mess and he didn’t look too friendly.”

Camila’s stomach clenched. She’d seen Tripp’s picture in the paper, too, and she was hoping he wouldn’t be staying long in Bramble.

“I couldn’t say anything for a long time, my tongue wouldn’t work. He was going to close the door so I blurted out my name and told him I made straight A’s and I was going to be a doctor and his family missed a lot by not knowing me…and you.”

“Oh, Jilly.” Camila wrapped her arms around her. She thought she knew her daughter, but she’d never dreamed she harbored these feelings. “Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about your father?”

“’Cause it makes you sad.”

“There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about…even if it makes me sad. Don’t you know that?”

Jilly’s mouth trembled into a smile. “Yeah, and I won’t go back.”

Camila cupped Jilly’s face. “It’s okay to be curious about your father’s family, but next time, please talk it over with me first. I don’t like you riding that far on your bicycle.”

“Okay.” Jilly looped her arms around Camila’s waist and squeezed.

“Mama?”

“Hmm?”

“Do my grandparents live there?”

Camila swallowed. “Yes, they do.”

“But it’s so dirty and unkempt. Do you think they’re okay?”

This was her Jilly, always worried about everyone. There wasn’t an old person in Bramble who didn’t know Jilly. She ran errands and helped anyone who needed it. Jilly had a big heart and Camila cringed inside at the thought of anyone ever hurting her.

“Yes, they’re fine. Nurse Tisdale checks on them three times a week.” The nurse came in the shop occasionally and talked of the disrepair at the Lady Luck.

“I guess I’m like grounded for life,” Jilly muttered against Camila.

“Pretty much.”

Jilly drew away, her eyes worried. “But, Mama, I have to take out Mrs. Shynosky’s trash and pick up Mrs. Haskell’s groceries when she needs something and take Miss Unie food or she’ll just eat cat food.”

Camila tucked wisps of stray hair behind Jilly’s ear. “Do you know how special you are?”

Jilly grinned. “Then I can still help out?”

“Yes, but no TV or listening to music for a week.”