Texas Rebels: Jude

“Take a breath.” Jude sat up and watched the excitement on his son’s face. Zane had been in bed when Jude had come in last night. He’d stayed longer than he’d expected at Annabel’s. He’d wanted her to know the truth and found it easy to talk to her. She understood he wanted to wait until the situation with Paige was over. She didn’t want to get involved, either, if his heart was somewhere else. Jude didn’t know where his heart was. But then, he did. It was with this little boy whose eyes were sparkling like firecrackers on the Fourth of July.

“It was amazing, Dad, I tell you. Uncle Quincy taped her tail because she was swishing it and then Jenny washed White Dove’s udder, teats and vulva with water and soap. And—”

“Vulva?”

“Yeah, it’s—”

“I know what it is.” He was surprised his son did, but that was Zane. He’d probably read about birthing and knew every detail. Once he learned something, he never forgot it. His memory was uncanny.

“Well, the foal’s feet were like this.” Zane stuck out his arms as far as he could and placed his head between them. “That’s the way she came out, in a white amniotic sac. Jenny said it was a perfect birth and Uncle Quincy agreed. Once the front feet and head and shoulders appeared, it was like swoosh and the rest of it followed into a yucky mess. Jenny’s already calling her Little Dove because she’s white and black like her mama. It took four attempts before Little Dove could stand on wobbly legs and she’s the cutest thing. You should’ve seen it, Dad. Do you think her legs are long like Bear’s ’cause they’re related?”

Jude swung his feet to the floor. “Yep, Red Hawk is their father.” Zane had seen births before on the ranch, but he was extra excited because he spent a lot of time with Quincy and his paint horses.

“I think I want to be a vet.”

Jude stared at his precious son with his hair in his eyes. “How about a scientist or a chemist who discovers a cure for cancer?”

“Cool, Dad. I can do that, too.” Zane grinned as he slipped a T-shirt over his head. “After everything was over, Quincy said I better go to the house or Grandma would be worried. He was right. She was sitting up, waiting on me. She said she can’t go to sleep unless I’m safely in bed. I’m lucky to have a grandma like that.”

“Yes, you are.” Jude felt a pang of guilt for staying out so late. He didn’t want his mother to stay up and wait for Zane. That was Jude’s job. Once in twelve years wasn’t bad, though.

“You were out with Ms. Hurley. Did you talk about me?”

“Our favorite topic of conversation.”

“Cool, Dad. I’m going to check on Little Dove and then come back and get ready for school so I can find a cure for cancer.” His cheeky son had the audacity to wink.

Zane darted out the door and Jude stood and stretched and then made his way to the shower. Today was the day. He would meet Paige for the first time in almost thirteen years. He wondered if she’d changed. Everyone changed in that amount of time. He certainly had. He wasn’t that scared teenage boy anymore. Raising a child had toughened him up quickly. He had to stay on his toes to make good choices and cowboy up when things got rough.

That scared boy had become a man ready to take on the world for Zane. He’d never for one minute regretted going back to get his son. But today he would have to explain that decision to Paige. He was prepared now. The scared boy had surfaced for a moment because he was afraid of losing the one thing that mattered the most to him in this world: his son. That bond was rock-solid and Jude knew that better than anyone.

Since he was going to a funeral, Jude put on starched jeans and a white shirt. With his hair combed, his hat in his hand, he headed for the door, only to be stopped by Zane coming through it.

“That was quick.” His son had a strange look on his face, one Jude knew well. Something was wrong and he knew not to push or Zane would clam up. “The foal okay?”

“Yeah. She was sucking, so I guess everything’s okay.”

“Didn’t you talk to Uncle Quincy?”

Zane shook his head. “He and Aunt Jenny were curled up in the hay under a blanket asleep, so I didn’t wake them.”

“You could have. It would have been okay.”

With his small shoulders hunched, Zane replied, “I don’t know, Dad. It’s different now.”

“How is it different?”

“Uncle Quincy doesn’t have much time for me anymore.”

Jude sat on the bed and patted the spot beside him. Quincy had spoiled Zane, just as he’d spoiled Grandpa and everyone else by lavishing his attention on them. He was that type of person.

“Uncle Quincy still loves you and you’re still his partner. But life is about changes. Nothing stays the same.”

Zane looked up at him. “I think that’s a line from a song, Dad.”

Jude ruffled Zane’s hair. “It’s true. Having fun with Uncle Quincy will change, too. You’ll want to spend more and more time with your friends and away from the ranch.”

Zane’s eyes narrowed. “I’m never leaving the ranch.”

Jude didn’t push it, because they’d had this conversation many times about college and it always upset Zane. “Trust me. You won’t always think that way. You’ll change. As much as you say you won’t, you will. And if you don’t, the ranch will always be here. It will always be home.”

“And you’ll always be here?”

“You bet.” There was no place on earth Jude would rather be. Zane got that from him. By Zane’s somber expression, Jude knew something else was bothering his son. “What is it, son?”

“Uh... Uncle Quincy and Aunt Jenny were curled up together. Uncle Quincy had his arms around her and they were like one person.”

They’d already had the sex talk, so it couldn’t be about that. Jude was sweating bullets thinking about how to answer his son.

Zane saved him. “Uncle Quincy really loves Aunt Jenny.”

“And she loves him.”

“Yeah. That’s nice, huh?”

“Yes. You have one more person who loves you.”

“Aunt Jenny gives big hugs and she smells good.”

“So you see it’s a good thing Uncle Quincy found someone.”

“Yeah.” There was still a slight hesitation in Zane’s voice.

“If you want to talk to Uncle Quincy, just go over to his barn and talk to him. He won’t disappoint you. I promise.”

There was silence for a moment and Jude struggled to find words to soothe his son’s bruised heart. Before Jude could find the right words, Zane looked up at him again and asked, “Did you love my mama like Uncle Quincy loves Aunt Jenny?”

Jude’s throat closed up and every word he knew dissipated like smoke into thin air. He tried not to show any reaction but knew that wouldn’t work. He’d always been honest with Zane, but now he struggled with the truth. He wasn’t sure why. It was just difficult to talk about his feelings for Paige, especially with his son.

He swallowed hard. “Yes, I loved your mother more than I can ever tell you. We were inseparable in high school and...”

Zane wrapped his arms around Jude’s waist and buried his face against him. “You don’t have to talk about her, Dad.”

He held his son close. “It’s okay. You were conceived in love. That’s why you’re such a happy kid.”

Zane drew back to gaze up at Jude. “I hope she doesn’t come back like Eden’s mom did. I don’t think I would like her. It’s just me and you, right, Dad? You and me against the world. We’re Rebels and we’re rowdy.”

“You bet. Now you better get ready for school. Aunt Rachel will be here any minute.”