Night Hawk

There was so little Kai knew about Gil. Oh, she knew his body, but God, they didn’t talk about much during those five incredible lust-filled days. They had come together like two lost souls, hurting, full of grief, lonely and needing love. Maybe not love, Kai self-corrected. Maybe just horny as hell after no sex for a year after Sam’s death. And she knew for men, at least most of them, when they had sex, it did not equal emotion or love, like it did for a woman. Each gender came to the bedroom with different perspectives, expectations and realities, and suffered from different outcomes. That’s why Gil had walked away. For him, it was just sex. Relieving himself. For her, it was an entirely different experience; there were emotions and heart involved with him that she’d never realized until that moment. Kai wondered if she lived a life with blinders on all the time.

She pulled herself out of her rumination as Cass pushed hard and the huge hanging door grudgingly slid open. He walked in and turned on the overhead lights. What she saw was farm and ranch equipment with a lot of dust on it.

“Uh-oh,” Cass teased, leaning against the door opening, arms across his massive chest. “I see that look in your eye. Mechanics get a gleam that’s unmistakable. I’ll bet you’re just dying to get your hands on these metal monsters.” He chuckled, his grin widening.

She walked over to the John Deere tractor. All four tires were flat. Kai had a keen eye and swept over it from stem to stern. “You’re right,” she confessed with a laugh. Cass made a lot of her fear over what Gil might do to get rid of her dissolve. Once she started to work on these machines and showed Talon how quick and good she was, it wouldn’t matter what Gil said. Talon would keep her over any protests he made.

Remembering Gil’s face, that hurt that had crossed it when she’d accused him of trying to get rid of her, made Kai hesitate in her cruel judgment of him. He had always been a man of impeccable morals and values when she knew him. He was always respectful toward her, protective when Sam was away on a special mission and she was stationed at Bagram. If Gil and the rest of his team came in for a brief R & R between missions, he would always come to see her. Ask how she was. Did she need anything? That was how Delta brothers took care of their own. Not that many wives of a Delta operator were at Bagram. She was the only one.

Gil would escort her to the chow hall; they’d eat, talk about Sam and herself. Gil never once talked about himself. Kai had thought he was a closed book to the outside world. She was sure within the Delta Force brotherhood, he was much more open and forthcoming. Never once did Gil let on he was attracted to her. And then, Kai grimaced, Gil had clearly shown her, without a doubt, that all he wanted from her was sex. Instead of a one-night stand, it had developed into a five-night stand. How could she have been so blind? So stupid?

“Hey,” Cass called from the door, “I need to get back to the house. About time to set the table and start getting stuff ready for our 1800 chow hall.”

She grinned, liking his dropping into military lingo. “Everything in the kitchen smelled so good when I first arrived, I can hardly wait to eat tonight.”

Cass let his arms fall to his sides. “Don’t come late. It’s a food fight every night,” he warned her with a wicked grin.

She laughed, knowing he was teasing her. Cass was so easy to read in comparison to Gil. Moving between the hay baler and the tractor, and checking out the horse and cattle trailers, Kai knew she had her work cut out for her. Every tire would have to be replaced. That was a lot of money. Pulling out her notepad and pen, she started making notes on each machine. Moving between them, Kai got lost in the needs of each one. When she looked up later, she saw a tall, very well-built, black-haired woman coming her way. She was wearing jeans, a red long-sleeved tee and cowboy boots. Kai went out to the front of the barn to greet her.

“Hi,” Kai said, holding out her hand, “I’m Kai Tiernan.”

“Cat Holt. What are you up to?” she said, and shook her hand.

“Just taking notes,” Kai said, gesturing toward the inner barn. She liked the tall woman. She had slightly curled black hair that lay like a cloak around her proud shoulders. It was Cat’s blue eyes, large and sparkling with life, that drew Kai. “Are you just getting home from the hospital?”

Cat moved into the barn with her. “Yes.” She rubbed her long, slender hands. “It’s Friday. I have the whole weekend at the ranch and I can hardly wait to throw my leg over my horse and start riding some fence.” She grinned over at Kai. “Maybe you’d like to join me? Get a feel for the rest of our ranch?”

“I’d love to,” Kai said eagerly. There was an earthy warmth to Cat Holt and her smile was often, her eyes also kind looking, like Cass’s eyes. But then, they were both medical people and they couldn’t be in a service field career like that without a lot of compassion in them.

“Cass said that he’d lost you to the depths of the green barn,” Cat told her, walking among the equipment. “He said you had that gleam in your eye.”

Chuckling, Kai said, “Guilty as charged. My hands are positively itching to get started on getting these beasts up and running.”

“Well,” Cat warned, sliding her fingers over the John Deere tractor’s fender and gathering lots of dust on them, “our budget can’t handle all the repairs. I’m sure Gil will give you the go-ahead, most likely, on the tractor, because we really need it in service now.”

“I grew up on a ranch and I helped my dad with the accounting books,” Kai told her as they left the barn. “It’s a balancing act, for sure.”

Cat nodded. She pushed the large door shut and locked it. “Monday morning at nine o’clock, there’s a meeting in our kitchen. Cass always makes cinnamon rolls, which draws every wrangler on the ranch.” She laughed. “After everyone gets their quota of cinnamon rolls, Talon and Gil will go over the week’s assignments.”

“I love cinnamon rolls. Nothing like a hot one coming out of the oven. It sounds like you’re really organized.” She walked down the slope with Cat. Above them the sun was in the western blue sky. It was beautiful here and Kai was so grateful to have landed a job at this ranch. If only Gil weren’t here. And every night, she’d have to sit at the same table and eat with him. Her stomach tightened. Kai was already losing her appetite. When Gil put on that game face, he was a tough hombre and nobody cracked that steel facade of his. No one. Except her. During those nights of endless pleasure with him. Then, she’d seen the real man beneath it, and he had taken her breath away.

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_571c3874-5891-524f-8e36-29c52ce43198)

THE LAST PLACE Gil wanted to be at dinner was with the Holt family. He’d always looked forward to it up until tonight. Dammit, Kai was here. He was still reeling from meeting her in the barn earlier. The family sat down, Sandy at the head of the table, Cass to her right, Kai opposite him and, thank God, Talon and Cat and himself at the other end of the long trestle table. It could easily seat fourteen people for the holidays.

Gil had breathed a deep sigh of relief when Cass asked Kai to sit opposite him. Actually, it had been Sandy who requested her presence there, a good sign she liked Kai. Who wouldn’t? There was some quiet table talk, some laughter and smiles, but Gil felt like hell. He stole a glance in Kai’s direction. His whole body tightened in memory of her in his arms. Jesus, he’d never forgotten those torrid five days with her. Not that he’d tried. The look on her face when she realized it was him was one of mixed emotions. He’d seen Kai’s shock, hurt and then anger come to her face. Kai could never hide how she felt. It was one of the many things that drew him to her. Unlike himself, who was so stove up that even Cass teased him about never smiling or being more robot than human.

Gil wanted to be close to Kai. Smell her scent. Touch her skin. He remembered all of her. Every scent, every small cry of pleasure, that husky voice of hers afterward, when they were both weak and sated with one another.

He passed the glazed carrots to Cat, who thanked him. Gil wasn’t sure who was more miserable right now: Kai or himself. But for different reasons.

When the thick slices of pot roast came his way, he took an ample amount. Working ten hours a day meant loading up on protein and carbs. The huge Idaho baked potato on his plate was slathered with cheese, crumbled bacon and heavy dollops of thick sour cream.

Earlier, everyone had gone to their respective rooms, taken turns in the bathroom on the first floor, cleaning up, getting a shower and putting on a set of clean clothes before dining. Gil swore he could smell the scent of orange shampoo that Kai had used in her hair. Those thick auburn strands gleamed beneath the hurricane lamp chandelier that hung high above the long table. She looked beautiful in a pale pink sweater, a set of pale blue slacks and sensible leather shoes. The small pearl earrings adorned her delicate lobes, and he sharply remembered tasting, teasing and kissing each of them and her sensual reaction. Kai looked fragile and that hit Gil hard. The strained expression on her face was his fault. Damn, he hadn’t handled that meeting today worth shit. He hadn’t meant to get angry at her, but it hurt when she accused him of running. Well, he had. But she didn’t know the rest of the story.

Gil covertly watched her as she passed Talon a bowl of thick brown gravy, which he poured across the slabs of beef. Kai was shy, but she’d always been that way. Her mouth stirred him, and Gil inwardly groaned. Just the dainty way she ate, that full mouth of hers lush with promise, sent streaks of heat into his lower body. Harshly, he told himself there was no way to rebuild the broken bridge that loomed like the Grand Canyon between them. She saw him as an irresponsible bastard who had taken advantage of her and given nothing in return except to disappear out of her life. Dammit.

Sandy Holt gave Kai a gentle look as she nibbled haphazardly at the food Cass had put on her plate. “Kai? Tell us about your family. Where do they live?”

Kai blotted her mouth with the pink linen napkin and told them. She looked at all of them as she spoke and tried to avoid Gil’s stormy, narrowed look, her voice faltering slightly.

“And how many in your family?” Sandy inquired.

“I have one older brother, Steve.”

“Did he go into the military like you?”

Kai shook her head. “No, he loved ranching and Dad wanted Steve to stay there to teach him how to run it.”

“Well,” Sandy said, patting her arm in a motherly fashion, “you served your country and we’re all grateful for your service. You need to know that.”

Gil saw a faint blush touch Kai’s sloped cheeks. The ache in his chest intensified. Even though she did a man’s job, she was excruciatingly feminine. Oh, he knew she wore her hair short, but hell, with the heat in Afghanistan, over a hundred degrees every day in the summer, he didn’t blame her. There was a wishful part of him that wondered what her auburn hair that glinted with gold and burgundy beneath the lamplight would feel like as he sifted his fingers through those strands once more. He remembered those silky textures and he felt himself hardening. Not what he wanted at a dinner table.

The woman had always made him want her from the moment Sam had introduced Kai proudly to him. It was the darkest, deepest secret he’d kept from his best friend. And Gil would never have told Sam that he wanted Kai for his own. That just wasn’t going to happen. He’d loved Sam like a brother and they’d gone through many years as operators, saving one another’s ass. Even today, when he thought of Sam, he missed him. And he was glad he’d never given one hint of how much he desired Kai. Neither of them knew his secret.

“Gil?”

He looked up, jerking out of his dark, heated thoughts. Sandy smiled sweetly at him. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if you were going to take Kai around our ranch tomorrow. You know? Ride the fence line? Let her get a feel for our place?”

“Oh,” Cat said enthusiastically, “I had already asked Kai if she’d go for a ride tomorrow morning with me.”

Gil felt relief. He wasn’t prepared to spend quality time with Kai. Not yet. “That’s fine, Cat,” he told her. “I got a lot to do Saturday morning.” Gil glanced up to see the look in Kai’s large gray eyes. She was relieved, too. Obviously, she wanted nothing to do with him. His heart twinged with guilt. And gut-wrenching regret.

Zeke whined. He lay on his doggie bed in the living room, his black ears perked up, eyes shining hopefully at the group sitting at the table.

Kai turned and looked at the beautiful seventy-pound male dog. She looked over at Talon, who was scowling in Zeke’s direction. “Is he begging?”

Grumping, Talon said, “Yes. My wife made the mistake of giving him a piece of her sandwich at noon one day here at the table and he’s never forgotten it. So now—” Talon gave his wife a wry look “—Zeke sits on his bed and whines dramatically from the living room, hoping to snag someone who has a soft heart who will give him some food.”

Cat smiled and gave her husband a teasing look. “I don’t know why you don’t let us spoil Zeke. You said yourself he’s been happy since coming home. And so are you, hmm?”

Talon nodded. “You make me happy. Zeke is on his own.”

The table rolled with chuckles.

“I know what will get Zeke’s attention,” Cass said. “Get him a playmate.”