A Man Alone

Only the fact that Paige Black would take care of his needs on a daily basis made going home anywhere near palatable. Thane felt like he had been thrown from the skillet into the fire. And yet his only objective while riding this emotional maelstrom was saving his leg and getting the hell out of his mother’s house as soon as possible, going back to work as a marine. Above all, he wanted his old job back. And one way or another, he was going to accomplish it. Nothing else mattered. Nothing.

Chapter Three

Thane spent his time on the Perseus jet that flew him back toward the States writing letters of condolence to the wives and families of the men he’d lost on the mission. It was a task demanded of him because he was the officer in charge of the Recon team. Even if it hadn’t of been, he’d have written. These men were his friends; they were like younger brothers to him. His handwriting was shaky and his eyes filled with tears again and again, until he was done. Sometime after that, with his hands folded over the last letter he’d written, he fell into an exhausted sleep.

At some point, someone gently removed the heartfelt letters from beneath his hands, which rested on his blanketed stomach. It might have been Jenny, the trauma physician, or Morgan himself. Thane wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter. Both were from the military and he knew they understood.

When he awoke, they were within an hour of their destination. Morgan was up in front, speaking on a phone, at a makeshift desk with papers surrounding him. The rear of the Lear jet had been revamped to make it easy for patients like Thane, who lay on a gurney with tubes hanging out of him, to ride with relative ease. Pain had awakened him. Jenny, who was in her mid-thirties, with short red hair and sparkling green eyes, adjusted the IV drip to give him more painkiller to ease his discomfort.

As soon as she did, Thane lapsed once more into a deep, almost comalike sleep. He was sure his need to sleep was due to many things: his injuries, the trauma of the surgery, his escalating emotions and grief over the loss of his men, his concern over what these losses were doing to the families, among other things. And, beneath it all, lay something he didn’t look at very closely: the fact that he was going home to a mother who was more a stranger to him than a parent. And to a house he’d hated growing up in because he’d considered it a prison. The weight of all those emotions raged through him, unchecked.

The next time Thane woke up, he found himself in a pale pink room. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was in a hospital—more than likely Red Rock Hospital, in Sedona, Arizona. It was a far cry from the Cusco hospital. This room was cheery in comparison, with fuschia venetian blinds, green plants hanging near the window and several paintings of flowers and landscapes. His leg was suspended, once again, with a set of pulleys and he noticed he wore a pair of light blue pajamas. The bed covering was a deep fuschia color and matched the venetian blinds. To his left was a huge set of windows, and he could see he was on the ground floor. There were shiny-leafed pyracantha bushes along the bottom edge of the window. Beyond that, he saw the gorgeous spires and buttes of Sedona.

New emotions filtered through him as he gazed upon the red rock country where he’d grown up, noticing once more how the red sandstone was sandwiched between layers of white rock as it spiraled high into the dark blue sky. Turning his gaze from the late evening dusk that hung over the small community, he saw there were a number of bouquets of flowers in the room—bright red, rust-colored, yellow and pale lavender wildflowers from around the area. He would recognize these flowers anywhere and he welcomed their sweet scent over the antiseptic odor he’d encountered in the Cusco hospital. There was no mistaking that it was June in Sedona, for summer had come to this tourist town in all its colorful splendor.

The door to his room cautiously opened. Thane turned, his heart thudding hard in his chest. A young woman dressed in a pale blue smock and loosely fitting dark blue slacks, a stethoscope around her neck and a chart in her hands, moved quietly into the room. She gave him a shy, hesitant smile.

Thane recognized her at once. It was Paige Black. The fear that had knotted his stomach when he’d thought his mother had come to visit him dissolved instantly. A warmth flowed through him at the sight of her. How had she grown so beautiful? Her eyes were large and damp looking, as if she’d been crying recently. Yet the look in them welcomed him with undeniable warmth and recognition.

“Hi. I’m Paige Black, Captain Hamilton,” she said uncertainly. “I was just coming to check on you, to see if you were awake yet. Your mother wanted to know so she could drive over and welcome you home.”

Thane’s eyes traveled over her from her head down to her toes, and back up to her face. Paige could barely hold his narrowed green gaze. She could feel his intense look sweep over her like a fire suddenly out of control, creating a burning sensation. Inwardly, she was trembling with joy as well as trepidation.

Thane swallowed convulsively. Paige was more beautiful than ever. He remembered her in high school, when she hadn’t been half as pretty as she was now. Perhaps it was her height that gave her such a magnetic presence, for she stood about five foot seven inches tall. Her shining ebony hair was drawn back with a large sterling silver, turquoise-studded comb at the back of her head. She wore no makeup, but that didn’t matter. Her thick, arched eyebrows set off her very large, cinnamon-colored eyes. When he saw her dip her head and avoid his eyes, he recalled belatedly that Navajo did not like to make eye contact with strangers. They felt it assaultive. Disrespectful. And he’d been staring at her like a starving wolf. Still, she stood there, her hands crossed in front of her, and patiently endured his inspection.

Clearing his throat nervously, Thane lifted his hand, though he was still very weak. “Call me Thane, Paige. It’s good to see you again.” And it was. He hungrily absorbed her soft, placid looking features. Her skin was golden, her cheekbones high, her eyes slightly tilted to give her a look of mystery and intrigue. More than anything, her mouth looked delicious to him. Her lips parted in surprise when he talked to her in such a friendly manner. She lifted her head like a startled deer caught in headlights. Why?

“Y-you…remember me?”

Just the soft, husky tone of her voice soothed his jangled nerves and raw emotional state. Her eyes were huge with shock as she stared across the room at him.

He managed a brief, hoarse laugh. “Remember you? Sure I do. Why wouldn’t I?” And indeed, why wouldn’t he? Thane felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He found himself helplessly devouring the sight of this quiet, tranquil beauty. Everything about her spoke of peace and calmness.

Paige smiled gently and touched her cheek, which felt hot. “You have a wonderful memory, Captain—I mean, Thane….” Awkwardly, she clasped her hands again. How handsome he was! Paige tried to stop the old pain in her heart from leaking through her joy at seeing him once more. She’d never expected to see Thane Hamilton again after he’d left for Annapolis. If he knew that she’d had a crush on him in high school, he’d laugh himself silly. Now he was back here—with her. But not of his own free will.

Thane lay back, feeling suddenly joyous for no discernible reason. Even the fear of his upcoming meeting with his mother melted away beneath Paige’s warm brown gaze. “I never forgot you,” he stated. And he hadn’t. For him, she’d always been a mystery—an ethereal creature who was more a shadow than a reality in his life.

The huskily spoken words riffled across her aching heart. Paige tried to sternly tell herself that Thane was her patient, someone she would care for during his convalescence, but that was all. More heat rolled into her face. She placed her hands against her cheeks and looked away.

“I’m blushing like a teenager,” she admitted, laughing breathlessly. “I guess our school days follow us around, after all.”

His eyes narrowed speculatively at her. A part of her was still a child, even though she stood before him as a tall, graceful woman. “We have a lot in common,” he told her, giving her a wan smile. “We went to the same high school for four years. I’m glad someone I knew then is taking care of me now, instead of a stranger.”

Trying to gather her scattered, joyful emotions, Paige forced herself to take a more businesslike stance with him. She hadn’t expected Thane to remember her. Or for him to say such wonderful words to her. Moving briskly, she came to his bedside.

“That’s true, we did. But you were the superstar of Red Rock High School. I was a nobody.” She was still a nobody, she thought as she checked the drips on the IVs feeding a painkiller and liquid nutrients drop by drop into an artery in each of his arms. “I work here full time as a registered nurse. I assist Dr. Malone, who is going to be your physical therapist. I’m also a licensed masseuse.” She looked at the IVs closely, pretending to be busy with them. Paige couldn’t stand the powerful masculine energy that surrounded Thane, energy as potent to her as sunlight. It always had been. Only now he seemed ten times more male, more powerful, to her. Paige felt panicked beneath his continuing stare. Was she so unattractive that he couldn’t tear his gaze from her? Johnny had been abusive to her in every way. He said she was dog ugly, that her face was misshapen. Once he’d pointed out that one side of her mouth moved up more at the corner than the other side, that her left eye was slightly larger than her right one. Everything about her was out of balance, and according to the Navajo way, the beauty way, harmony and balance was the goal of life. Maybe that was why Thane was staring at her like that. He saw the disharmony of her features, too.

“I’m impressed with your credentials,” he murmured. Paige was so close. So wonderfully close. He could smell the fresh outdoors on her, a slight, clean scent of sage. Her skin was a flawless dusky color, proudly proclaiming her mixed heritage. Her black lashes were thick and framed her sparkling eyes, which carried flecks of gold in their depths.

“Are you comfortable?” she asked, moving back a step from his bed.

Thane nodded. “As much as I can be. When did I arrive here? The last thing I remember is falling asleep on the plane about an hour from our projected landing time.”

“You got here an hour ago.” Paige glanced at the practical-looking watch on her slim wrist. “It’s 4:00 p.m. now.”

“And Morgan Trayhern? Is he still around?”

Paige shook her head. She was nervous around Thane. He was a large man, heavily muscled, and so very good looking. But, what had drawn her to him so many years ago was his sensitivity and care of others. He’d never been an egomaniac just because he was the star of the football team and had led their team to two state championships. Instead, he’d always talked about how each member on his team was a hero, how it was teamwork that allowed them to win. No, Thane had treated everyone equally. He never ran with a clique. And he’d been busy in several clubs at school as well, organizations that helped the poor and the elderly. Paige had loved him fiercely for his humanity, for his kindness to others who had less than he.

Realizing she hadn’t answered his question, she stammered, “Uh, n-no. Mr. Trayhern left, but—” she turned and quickly moved to the dresser opposite his bed “—he left this for you.” She picked up a thick manila envelope. Bringing it to his bedside, she said a little breathlessly, “And he said to tell you that the letters you wrote would be sent off tonight to the families, and not to worry about the details. He’d take care of everything, including sending flowers for the funerals, which will be held shortly.”

Thane frowned and took the envelope. “I see. Thanks….”

Paige saw the pain and grief in his eyes. His mouth moved into a thin line. She fought the urge to touch him, to comfort him as he grieved at the terrible loss of his men. “I…I heard what happened. Mr. Trayhern said you’re a hero. I’m sorry for the loss of your team, Thane.” It was impossible not to reach out, and so Paige risked everything, tentatively placing her fingers across his muscular forearm, covered with soft, dark hair.

Just the soothing, cooling contact of her fingers on his skin eased some of his pain. Thane saw her eyes fill with genuine care and sadness. He knew Navajo custom was that once someone died, that person was never spoken of again. Of course, in his world, things were different. But right now he didn’t want to talk about his friends. Maybe the Navajo had the right idea, after all. “Thanks,” he said, his voice rough with tears, despite how he fought the emotion he felt. Overwhelming grief surged up through his chest, creating a huge lump in his throat. He swallowed repeatedly and tried to contain his feelings.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Thane shut his eyes. Her soft voice penetrated the wall of pain he was barely holding on to. The firmness of her cool fingers was steadying to him. Taking in a jerky breath, he opened his eyes and stared straight ahead.

“No.”

The word came out flat and controlled. Paige’s hand left his arm. He felt bereft. Idiotically, Thane wanted to cry out, throw his arms around her and hold her tight against him, sobbing and screaming out his pain against her soft, rounded breasts.

Stunned by that reaction, he withdrew deep inside himself. He saw Paige step back. The look on her face told him he’d hurt her with his blunt refusal of her help. Damn. She was the last person he meant to hurt right now. Moving his mouth, he tried to apologize, but nothing came out. All he could feel was the grief that was ready to avalanche downward.

“Let me call Dr. Briggs. He wanted to know when you awoke.”

“Wait!”

Paige jerked to a halt. She turned. Thane’s eyes were filled with darkness. The grief, the need to cry, was etched in every line of his face. It took everything Paige had not to automatically wrap her arms around him, hold him and let him cry. That was what he needed, she realized. The tears glimmered in his eyes. He looked away, as if ashamed that she’d seen them.

“Yes?”

“Paige…I…hell, I’m feeling pretty upset right now. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

The forgiving smile that blossomed across her full lips was more than he deserved in the aftermath of his apology, Thane realized as he watched her hungrily. Paige was the only person he knew here. The only person he wanted to know. She represented a safe harbor to him, emotionally. The only safe one.

“I’m used to people being in pain and barking like angry dogs, so don’t worry about it. Pain makes a person grumpy. Okay?”

Thane ruthlessly looked her up and down. Did she mean it? Or was her response just empty words designed to make him feel better? No, Paige was telling the truth. Thane could see how every emotion she felt could be read in her face. In that way, she hadn’t changed much, from what he recalled. She was one of those people who couldn’t hide her true feelings. Even now, she didn’t try to. Thane marveled at that. Life had taught him to hide beneath a mask most of the time.

“Okay,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “You’re the only friend I’ve got here. I don’t want to chase you away by being a grump.”

Touched, Paige felt her lips curve deeply. “I’m honored to be considered your friend.” And she was. Johnny had said no one would ever want her—not even as a friend. Maybe he was wrong? Her heart rose with hope.

Thane knew that the Navajo valued friendship a lot more than most people. Being considered a friend was like being adopted into the family. He managed a broken smile. “From what I understand, you’re going to have to put up with me when I get out of this place, until I can get back on my feet.”