A Doctor's Vow

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” Zac shot back. “Everybody in Hope thinks you’re God’s gift.”

Kent snorted. “Hardly.” God’s failure, maybe.

“It’s true. They look to you for leadership and they do whatever you say. All you have to do is put out a good word about her clinic and Jaclyn will have more patients than she can handle. I should know. That’s how I got my job.”

“Not true. You got your job because you were the best candidate.”

“And because you put in a word with the board chairman.” Zac smiled. “I heard.”

“I only said it would be nice to have someone with a PhD running things.” Kent avoided his knowing look.

“So? You can do the same for Jaclyn.” Zac paused, frowned. “Can’t you?”

“I’ve already tried. But she’s big city now, Zac.” Kent stared at the shovel he held. “Designer everything. You know how that goes down in Hope.”

“I do know. Everyone still feels conned by the city jerks that came here, promised the moon and have yet to deliver. But so what?” His friend studied him for several moments then barked a laugh. “Surely you can’t imagine Jaclyn will leave? Don’t you remember high school at all, cowboy?”

“Which part of high school?” Kent remembered some parts too well. Like how he was going to marry Lisa and live happily ever after.

“Dude! The Brat Pack, remember?” Zac nudged him with an elbow. “Jaclyn, Jessica, Brianna and Shay? Their dream?”

“I had forgotten that.” Kent recalled the closeness of the four, the way Shay and Brianna had rallied around Jaclyn while her sister suffered. He vaguely remembered the friends discussing some future project they’d all be part of.

“They were going to build a clinic. Then Jessica died. The others decided to make the clinic as a kind of monument to her. They were each going to have a specialty. Jaclyn, the pediatrician who made sure no child ever had the lack of care her sister did, Brianna wanted to practice child psychology and Shay was going to be a physiotherapist.” Zac slapped his shoulder. “You’ve got to put in a good word for Jaclyn, man. She’s spent a long time nursing that dream.”

“Ah, yes, Brianna.” Kent frowned. “You wouldn’t still be waiting for your former fiancée to come back to Hope to work in this clinic, would you, Professor?”

“No.” Zac shook his head, his eyes sad. “I gave up that dream long ago when I heard Brianna had married.”

“Then what’s your interest?” Kent raised his shoulders.

“I live here. I knew and liked Jessica. I think it would be cool if Jaclyn finally got to make her dream come true and cooler still if you helped her do it. But that’s up to you.” He looked around, flexed his arm. “Want a hand? I haven’t got anything going on tonight.”

“Great. You’re better at cleaning than me,” Kent teased.

“If you consider this place clean, then I certainly am.” Zac and Kent worked as a team for several hours. As usual, Zac brought the conversation around to discussing his first love—Hope’s schools. “Are you listening to me?” he asked.

“Sure.” Kent blinked, grinned. “Not really.”

“Thinking about Jaclyn, huh?” Zac snickered. “I hear she’s changed.”

“I told you, she’s turned big city.” Kent shrugged.

“That doesn’t mean she’s different inside.” Zac drank from his water bottle while Kent sipped his coffee. “She’s still focused on that clinic.”

“I’d substitute ‘driven’ for ‘focused.’” Kent sat on an upturned pail. “It’s like the clinic will happen or she’ll die trying.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Zac asked.

“Lots.” Kent waved a hand around them. “What’s going to happen if I don’t get finished in time? She’ll lose her funding. But Jaclyn doesn’t hear my warnings and, far as I can tell, she doesn’t have an alternate plan. It’s the clinic or nothing.”

“So you finish this place.” Zac blinked. “What’s the problem?”

“The problem?” Kent made a face. “Oh, just a few insignificant issues, like finding someone to do the work, paying for it, spending time here that I should be spending on my own practice or the ranch—take your pick.” Suddenly the magnitude of what he’d agreed to swamped him. “I don’t want to be responsible for ruining her dream.”

“Her dream? Or Lisa’s?” Zac tilted his head to one side, his expression sober. “It wasn’t your fault Lisa didn’t get her dream.”

“Yes, it was. I’m the one who dragged her away from the city. I’m the one who wouldn’t leave the ranch when she asked me to.” The guilt multiplied every time Kent thought about his actions. He’d loved Lisa yet he’d hurt her deeply.

“How could you have walked away from the ranch?” Zac asked quietly. “You would have lost everything. That’s not what a responsible man does.”

“Not even at the cost of his wife’s happiness?” Kent growled.

“There’s no evidence that moving would have guaranteed happiness. Lisa was sick. You told me the doctors said moving would change nothing.”

“They said it, but I don’t know that. Maybe if I’d forced her into treatment—”

“You can’t force someone to be well, Kent,” Zac said, his voice somber. “You did what you could.”

But Kent knew he hadn’t done enough. He’d tried to force Lisa to see the good things about living on the ranch, but all she saw was a trap that kept her from the fairy tale dream in her mind of a happy, party-style life in the city.

Zac helped awhile longer then offered some advice before he left.

“Lisa’s gone. Leave her with God. He knows you did your best. He loves you and understands. Move on.”

God loved him?

After Zac left, Kent tidied up the place, gathered his thermos and shut off the lights while thinking about Zac’s words. Kent felt he couldn’t accept God’s love because he wasn’t worthy of it. Lisa would still be alive if not for him. So what if they’d lost the ranch? He’d persisted because he wanted to make his dad’s dream for the place come alive when he should have let it go and started again.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

The awful truth was that he’d chosen his father’s dream over his wife.

Kent wouldn’t make that mistake again. Somehow he’d get this building ready for Jaclyn, no matter what it cost him. It couldn’t bring Lisa back or erase his guilt over her death, but maybe it would ease Jaclyn’s grief.

He had to remember only one thing.

No matter how beautiful or how interesting Jaclyn was, no matter how many times he felt that zing of attraction when she smiled at him, there could be nothing between them.

Kent’s love had failed the one woman he’d pledged to cherish. That would not happen again because as far as he was concerned, he had nothing to offer a woman but failure.

Jaclyn was a friend, but that’s all she could ever be.

Chapter Three

“I’m begging, Pete. I know you’re full-time at the mine, but I just need a couple of hours of your time. That’s all.”