Blessings

“How could you know?” Nicole kept nibbling, working her way around the icing words.

“If nothing else, I can see it on your face. You’re worn out. It’s partly the newness of the job, of course, but I believe it goes deeper than that. My nephew is not an easy man to deal with lately. He’s had too many surprises to render him totally accepting of his situation.”

“What do you mean?”

Miss Winifred sighed heavily, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

“Joshua loved his wife and family. He loved his work. The inroads he made into giving this community quality care and providing for his family’s future drove him. Then suddenly that future was ripped away. He’s hurting, confused and discouraged. He feels he’s lost control of everything, that nothing is happening the way he wants. To Joshua, control is everything.”

“I don’t suppose losing his wife or his partner was easy.” A rush of sympathy washed over her. It had to be difficult managing under these circumstances, trying to keep everything together.

“No, it wasn’t. It tore apart everything he’d believed was true. Now he’s floundering.”

“He’s more than competent as a doctor. He gives first-rate care to everyone he sees,” Nicole reassured the older woman.

“Medically, yes. He does his job very well. But he remains aloof from it, outside his patients’ problems. He can’t let himself get involved, you see. And that’s a big problem.”

“It is?” What else was a doctor supposed to do, for heaven’s sake?

“Yes, dear. You see, over the past eight years this town has grown used to running to Joshua. They’ve seen him handle situations they never believed could be solved. They’ve grown to trust him with their lives, their children, everything. He’s served on town council, the school board—oh, a host of things.”

“I’m glad.” What else could she say? She, who’d never been deeply involved in anyone else’s life, though she’d longed to.

“But now he’s opted out.”

“Excuse me?” Nicole lifted her head to stare at her hostess. “What do you mean, opted out?”

Miss Winifred shrugged.

“Joshua doesn’t get involved. Oh, he diagnoses whatever’s wrong, just as he always has. He hands out the required prescriptions, deals with the injuries that need treating, repairs the wounds as best he can. But emotionally, he doesn’t get involved.”

“But—” Nicole stopped the words. What in the world could Miss Winifred mean? That Joshua was still mourning? Wasn’t that natural for a man who’d lost a beloved wife?

In a second Nicole’s mind flashed back to her own mother’s death and her father’s grief-stricken state. Surely this little baker woman couldn’t be suggesting that Joshua Darling—

“He’s locked himself into a rigid need for control.” Miss Winifred shook her head sadly. “My sister would have known what to say, how to get him to refocus. I’ve tried, but…” Her voice trailed away, sadness filling its soft tones.

“Your sister?” Nicole was getting lost.

“Joshua’s mother. She was such a bright, vivacious woman. She always wanted children, but they weren’t able to have any. They adopted Joshua when he was nine. He was a sober, determined little fellow even then, but Honey, my sister, could coax the joy out of him with just a word or a touch.”

“What happened to her?”

“She and my brother-in-law holidayed in Florida after they got it into their heads to be sailors. They were celebrating their eighteenth anniversary. A gale damaged their boat. They were lost at sea. Joshua was twelve then. I took him in, raised him. They’d have wanted that.”

“I’m sorry.” Nicole laid her hand over the smooth white fingers.

“Oh, don’t be. Honey never did anything if she couldn’t do it wholeheartedly. That’s why I know she’d know exactly how to deal with Joshua. Unfortunately, I don’t.”

There wasn’t anything Nicole could say. She wasn’t exactly sure what the problem was, but even if she understood completely, Dr. Darling would hardly accept any personal advice she had to offer. He’d made that more than clear.

“That’s why I was so hopeful when I knew you were coming. I believe God sent you here specifically to meet our need, Nicole.” The blue eyes flashed with intensity. “I think He intends to use you to help Joshua reenter life.”

Dread—stark, utter dread—rolled over Nicole, swamping her.

“Miss Winifred, I’m very glad I could come to Blessing, and if I can help out at the office, then I’m glad to do so. But I don’t think you should look for anything more.” She gulped, then took a sip of tea, her throat bone-dry. “Believe me, I’m not anybody’s answer to prayer.”

“Oh, sweetheart, my faith isn’t just in you. It’s in God.” The blue eyes glowed with inner fire. “Someone has to show Joshua that we don’t control the future. Someone has to help him understand that following all his rules and laws isn’t going to protect him from life.”

Miss Winifred got up from the table, rinsed out the teapot and dried it carefully. She set it inside her cabinet, closed the door quietly, then turned and faced Nicole, her intense scrutiny unnerving.

“I believe that someone is you. Good night, dear.”

“Good night.” The words tumbled out of their own accord, which was a good thing because Nicole couldn’t organize her thoughts at all as she climbed the stairs to her room.

Help Joshua Darling?

Her own world had now spun totally out of control, the surgical training she’d so carefully planned delayed by circumstances she couldn’t alter.

Nicole felt the burn down to her soul. She couldn’t even get her own father to see her as anything more than a mere replacement for her mother.

How in the world was she supposed to help a man who already had all the answers he wanted?

Chapter Three

“Rosalyn Alyssa Darling, stop that caterwauling. You’re not suffering from any life-threatening injury. If you will race through the house, you will get hurt. I’ve told you that before.”

Joshua almost groaned right along with Rosie when his youngest daughter sent up another heartrending sob that tugged at his heart. He felt totally helpless. Giving in to his emotions, he gently gathered his baby’s compact little body into his arms and cuddled her close, soothing her sobs as he always had.

“Kiss?” She tilted her chin up for his cure.

“Kiss,” he agreed, dabbing his lips against the alabaster skin and holding them there. She was so delicate, so precious. And such a fireball.

Three seconds after the kiss, she wiggled out of his arms to hurtle herself down the stairs in hot pursuit of her oldest sister.

“Rachel, help Rosie get dressed, will you? Please?”

Another Sunday morning, another two hours of sheer bedlam. Sometimes he wondered why he bothered dragging them all to church. But he knew the answer. Kyla. She’d insisted from the moment Rachel had come into the world that her children would know God in a personal way.

As if anyone could know God like that.

He stuffed the regrets down and concentrated on getting his tie straight. Wouldn’t want anyone to think anything was wrong in the Darling house.

Joshua offered a wry smile to his reflected image, twitching the tie into place as he did. Sheer pride, he owned. Such a stupid quality to hang on to. As if everyone in town didn’t already know something was wrong at the Darlings’. It was evident the moment you looked at the house, never mind what it looked like inside.

Why— He stopped himself, refusing to let the words gain hold in his brain. What difference did it make why it had happened? It had. The point he needed to concentrate on was managing what was left of his future. No matter what happened, the blame could not be laid at his door.

Not again. He’d do everything he had to, to make sure of that.