Lauren Weisberger 3-Book Collection: Everyone Worth Knowing, Chasing Harry Winston, Last Night at Chateau Marmont

We hear that Jay-Z will be making a surprise appearance at tonight’s party at Bungalow 8 to celebrate the launch of BlackBerry’s redesigned handhelds. While Bette Robinson of Kelly & Company declined to confirm, watchers insist that boyfriend Philip Weston’s friendship with the rapper ensures he’s the mystery guest. In a related tidbit, Mr Weston and friends were spotted at a Saturday-night birthday party canoodling with Brazilian models, the youngest of whom was a mere fourteen years old.

I couldn’t have been happier if they’d provided a web address for ordering the new BlackBerry: everything was exactly as I’d directed, and I knew Kelly would be deliriously excited when she saw it. I patted myself on the back, pleased with this mention, and thought back to one of Elisa’s mini-lessons to me.

‘Remember, there’s a big difference between scoop and favor,’ she’d said, spreading printouts of gossip columns all over the table at work.

I stared at them. ‘What? What do you mean?’

‘Well, look here.’ She pointed to a couple of sentences from an on-set stylist who’d first noticed that Julia Roberts needed to have her costumes let out because, the girl assumed, Julia was newly pregnant. Page Six had been the first to talk to the stylist, who’d been the first to notice this shift. ‘What is that – scoop or favor?’

‘You’re asking me?’

‘Bette, you need to know these things. How else are you going to get our clients the coverage they pay us for?’

‘I don’t know … it’s scoop,’ I said, choosing one of the words at random.

‘Right. Why?’

‘Elisa, I appreciate that there’s something important here, but I don’t know what it is. But if you’d tell me rather than quizzing me, it’d probably save us both a lot of time. …’

She’d rolled her eyes dramatically and said, ‘If you look carefully, there’s a difference between “scoop” and “favor.” Something juicy and revealing and slightly scandalous is “scoop.” A celebrity spotting at a party or in public, or a mention of somewhere they’ve been, is a “favor.” You can’t ask the columnists for all favors without giving them scoop. Information is currency, and the more you have of it, the more favors you get.’

‘So you’re saying that some publicist out there wanted her client’s name mentioned in the column and provided this bit about Julia Roberts in exchange?’ It sounded so sordid, but it certainly made sense.

‘Exactly. The publicist hand-delivered that stylist to Page Six and then made demands for coverage of her own.’

Well, that didn’t seem too hard. Perhaps Page Six might be interested in knowing that quite a few of the city’s most eligible bachelors had been keeping company with certain Brazilian girls who were not just underage, but who were years away from attending an R-rated movie without parental accompaniment. In fact, they had been interested, and when I followed up with the usual Tip Sheet we prepared for all the press – the blast-fax that went out with all the information about the party should anyone want to write about it – a researcher had expressed enthusiasm in possibly mentioning the BlackBerry party. Hmm, that wasn’t hard, now was it? Morally abject and devoid of all integrity? Absolutely. But difficult it was not.

By the time Kelly had descended upon the office at nine, I’d completed the checklist and triple-checked that the plane-change fax had gone through to Jay-Z’s compound and his mother’s compound, as well as to his publicist, agent, manager, and a half-dozen other handlers. I marched into her office at ten after nine with an entire file folder of schedules, contact information, and confirmation numbers and planted myself in the zebra-print loveseat directly underneath the window.

‘Are we all set for tonight, Bette?’ she asked, scrolling rapidly through her inbox while slugging back a liter of Diet Coke. ‘Tell me we’re good.’

‘We’re good,’ I sang, thrusting the Post under her nose. ‘And even better, considering this.’

She scanned the piece hungrily, her smile growing ever larger with each word she read. ‘Ohmigod,’ she murmured, barely swallowing a mouthful of soda. ‘Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. Was this you?’

It was all I could do not to do a little jig right there on the zebra-print shag carpet. ‘It was,’ I said quietly, confidently, although my insides were flipping with excitement.

‘How? They never cover events before they happen.’

‘Let’s just say I listened very carefully to Elisa’s valuable lesson on the concepts of scoop and favor. I think the BlackBerry people will be happy, don’t you?’

‘Fan-fucking-tastic, Bette. This is amazing!’ She began reading it for a third time and picked up the phone. ‘Fax this to Mr Kroner at BlackBerry immediately. Tell him I’ll call him shortly.’ She hung up and looked up at me. ‘Okay, we’re off to a perfect start. Give me an update on where everything stands.’

‘Sure thing. Tip sheets went out ten days ago to all the usual dailies and weeklies.’ I handed over a copy and continued while she surveyed it. ‘We have confirmed attendance for writers or editors from New York magazine, Gotham, the Observer, E!, Entertainment Weekly, the New York Post, Variety, and the Styles section. I approved a few people from the monthlies as a gesture of goodwill, even though they’ll never cover it.’

‘What about the Daily News?’ she asked. They were one of the papers that had just dropped Will’s column, and I’d felt like a traitor for even contacting them.

‘So far no one’s RSVP’d, but I’d be shocked if someone wasn’t there, so all the doormen have been instructed to allow admittance to anyone in possession of a business card from a legitimate media outlet.’

She nodded. ‘Speaking of which, we are controlling the door, correct? I will not have any of the Grey Goose people trying to bring randoms, will I?’

This was a slightly sticky point. Grey Goose had offered to sponsor the event and put up thousands of dollars’ worth of free booze in exchange for a logo on the invite and the press we’d promised would be there. They claimed they understood they wouldn’t be permitted to allow guests who weren’t prescreened by us and placed on the list in advance, but sponsors were notorious for dragging in dozens of their friends and associates because they thought it was their party, too. I’d discussed it with Sammy – unnecessary because he’d done hundreds of these and knew the drill – and he’d assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem.

‘Everyone will be trying their best to ensure that doesn’t happen. Sammy is the best and most senior bouncer at Bungalow, and he’ll be in charge of the door tonight. I’ve spoken with him.’ And simultaneously dreamed of draining the collagen right out of his girlfriend’s lips, I thought, but that was a different story.

Unlike Elisa, Kelly connected the name and the person immediately. ‘Excellent. I always thought he was bright, at least as far as bouncers go. What VIPs do we have confirmed?’

‘Well, obviously Jay-Z and crew. He requested that a whole contingent from his record label be invited, but most didn’t respond to invitations, so I don’t think many will show. Otherwise, we’ve got Chloe Sevigny, Betsey Johnson, Drew Barrymore, Carson Daly, Andy Roddick, Mary-Kate and Ashley, and Jon Stewart as definites. Also a handful of top-tier socialites. There might be more. When you’ve got an artist that big doing a private performance at a small venue … I’d be shocked if we didn’t get unannounced visits from Gwen or Nelly or anyone else who might be in town and around. The door has been informed.’

‘And who did the final vetting of the list?’

‘I went over it with both Philip and Elisa, with Mr Kroner at BlackBerry having final approval over everything. He seemed very, very happy with the projected attendees.’

Kelly finished off her bottle of Diet Coke and reached into the fridge underneath her desk to pull out another one. ‘What else? Give me the quick rundown on decorations, gift bags, interviews, chain of command.’

I could tell we were nearing the end, and I was thrilled, not just because I desperately needed another coffee and perhaps a second egg-and-cheese, but because I knew I was nailing this party and Kelly was impressed. I’d been working on it all day, every day since it’d been thrown in my lap, and even though I could recognize the ridiculousness of what we were doing, I liked it. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to work hard and do well, but it was damn nice.

‘Samantha Ronson is DJing and knows to keep things upbeat. Bungalow is taking care of the decorations, with instructions to keep it minimal, chic, and very, very simple. I’ll head over there this afternoon to check it out, but I’m really only expecting a few clusters of well-placed votives and, of course, the underlit palm trees. I think all the models we’ve got coming will be the primary attraction.’

At the word model, Kelly perked up even more. ‘How many and who are they?’ she asked with the efficiency of a drill sergeant.

‘Well, I invited all the supermodels as guests, as always, and then we went with that new company – what’s it called? Beautiful Bartenders. They hire out actors and models to tend bar and serve drinks. I saw a bunch of them working a Calvin Klein event two weeks ago and reserved a fleet of the guys, requesting that they all have long hair and wear head-to-toe white. They’re magnificent and really make a statement.’ Did I just say that? I thought.

‘As for everything else, the interns are putting together the gift bags now. They’ve got airplane bottles of Grey Goose, MAC lipstick and eye shadow, a copy of the current issue of US Weekly, a gift certificate for thirty percent off at Barney’s Co-op, and a pair of Kate Spade sunglasses.’

‘I wasn’t aware Kate Spade even made sunglasses,’ Kelly said, now nearly finished with the second liter of Diet Coke.

‘Neither was I. I guess that’s why she wants them in the gift bag.’ When she kept gulping, I figured I’d better wrap things up. ‘So that’s really it. I’ve touched base with Mr Kroner, and he understands exactly what he’s to highlight and avoid when talking to the press, and I’ll be there the entire night to oversee glitches. All in all, I expect everything should go very smoothly. Oh, and I’ve spoken with Philip and I think he understands that as host of this event, he shouldn’t be drinking entire bottles of vodka, ogling preteens, or doing drugs openly or with reckless abandon. I can’t guarantee he’ll actually play by the rules, but I assure you that he’s at least been informed as to what they are.’

‘Well, we’re all there to have a good time now, aren’t we? So I’m sure if Philip wants to have a little fun, too, we won’t be too uptight about that. Just keep it away from the press. Understood?’

‘Of course.’ I nodded solemnly, wondering how on earth I was supposed to keep the columnists and photographers away from the very person they’d been invited to see. I decided I’d deal with that later. ‘And Kelly? I can’t apologize enough about all that stuff in New York Scoop. I feel like I have a target on my back just because I’m supposedly dating Philip Weston. If I were paranoid, I’d think this Ellie girl was out to get me.’

She looked at me strangely, with an expression resembling pity, and I wondered if all the mentions were bothering her more than she’d let on. Kelly had brushed off every one of my apologies about the online column, swearing that any association with Philip Weston was a good one and that it had only succeeded in raising the profile of the company, but maybe she was tiring of the attacks. Which would make two of us.

‘Bette, I have something to tell you,’ Kelly said slowly. She pulled a new plastic liter bottle of Diet Coke from her under-desk fridge.

I could tell by the tone of her voice that this wasn’t good. Here it comes, I thought to myself. Here’s where I get fired for something that’s completely beyond my control. She looks so pained to have to do this – after all, she’s got such loyalty to Will, but I’ve obviously left her no choice. In an industry that revolves around the press, I’ve failed miserably. It’s actually her duty, her obligation, to fire me – she built this firm, and I walk in here and degrade it. How will I tell Will? Or my parents? I had already begun calculating how long it would take me to rework my résumé and begin applying for other jobs when Kelly took a swig and cleared her throat.

‘Bette, promise me that what I’m about to tell you will never leave this room.’

I audibly exhaled in relief. That didn’t sound like the beginning of a firing speech.

‘Of course,’ I said, the words tumbling out in rushed eagerness. ‘If you tell me never to mention it, then of course I won’t.’

‘I had lunch the other day with a woman from Ralph Lauren. I’m hoping very much to sign them – they’d be our biggest and most impressive account yet.’

I nodded as she continued.