It Happened in L.A.: Ms Match / Shockingly Sensual / Playmates

He leaned toward her, close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath. For a second, she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, his words were quiet, humble. “I love horror movies. And playing softball. I’ve never been in a book club, but I’d give it a try. I want to be in your life. It’s crazy. I don’t get why. But you’re the key.”

Chapter 9

PAUL COULD TELL he’d made her uncomfortable. He felt like a fool for talking like this, to a woman he hardly knew, but he was also sure that if he didn’t say it tonight, he’d convince himself that he was nuts. That all he needed was to get laid a whole lot more and think a whole lot less. He knew that, and something told him if he didn’t act, if he didn’t put himself on the line right now, he would be sorry. The type of sorry that doesn’t ease up with a drink or two.

It was one of the scariest things he’d ever done. Embarrassing as hell. There was nothing concrete he could point to as the cause or the reason. But it felt as real as it gets.

“I don’t know what to say.” Her gaze met his. “What I do know is that we’re from very different worlds. I don’t understand a lot about who you are. I admit it. I’ve probably assumed too much about you, and that’s not fair.”

“For instance?”

She shook her head.

“I can take it.”

After a moment when he thought she might tell him to forget it, she nodded once. “In my experience, people who are very attractive seem to live on a different planet. It’s earth, but it’s rarefied. I understand it, honestly.”

“Rarefied?”

She nodded, knowing she needed to find the right words. “We’re wired to admire beauty. It all goes back to the survival instinct and procreation, but that’s not the world I live in, either. I come from a family of exceptionally good-looking people and I’ve seen how things are easier for them. They got away with amazing things. Their choices were vast. And it gave them all an attitude of entitlement. Scratch the surface of any one of my darling brothers and sisters and you’ve pretty much reached the other side. There’s no there there.”

“Wow.” He exhaled heavily. “Okay,” he said. His gaze hadn’t wavered from her. “That’s not all, is it? There’s something that you don’t particularly want to say.”

He was right. Her theories were her own, but they’d been with her a long time, and dammit, he’d asked. “Mostly, I think what’s lacking is compassion. It’s not their fault. Compassion comes from pain. And while they’ve all had their ups and downs, not one of them has ever gone through hell and come out the other side, stronger for the experience.”

He wanted to tell her he’d been through hell plenty of times, but he hadn’t. She was right about having it easy. People had always seemed to want him to succeed. And for most of his life, that had been enough. More than enough. “I’m guilty of everything you said. I can see how you’d assume I wouldn’t be enough for you.”

She blinked at him and he was beginning to know that look. She was thinking about what he’d said, thinking deeply. “I’m not foolish enough to pretend that the lens I’ve looked through isn’t muddy. I’m no paragon, myself. I spent years and years living with jealousy and bitterness. It was hard being the ugly one.”

“You’re not—”

She stopped him. “We’re being honest here, remember?”

“Okay. I swear. I’m being honest. You don’t look like the rest of your family. But you’re not ugly.”

“Paul.”

“Hey. I don’t want to get sidetracked here, but dammit, I’m not lying to you. I’m the first to admit I’m shallow as hell, but even I can see how lovely your eyes are. How when you smile, your whole face lights up. I find you…arresting. But let’s get back to me while I’m still brave enough to ask. Do you believe I’m destined to be this shallow forever? Can you even consider that there might be more to me than you think there is?”

She didn’t answer, only this time, he didn’t see her telltale blinks. He felt a hopelessness that filled him with dread. This was ridiculous. He tried to get up, but her hand caught his and she held him steady.

“I think you can be anything you set your mind to.”

He looked at her again, trying to see beyond the words. Her eyes glistened, and her mouth quivered just a bit. This was new. Gwen wasn’t sentimental and she wasn’t shy about telling it like it was, which left him…

Confused.

“You’re not shallow,” she said. “I’m the one who misjudged. I never expected—”

He shook his head. “You think you’re surprised.”

He got a smile for that.

“So you think there’s a chance. That we could be friends, I mean.”

“There’s a chance.”

He sat back on the couch, slouching awkwardly but not wanting to move away from her. “I don’t have an act two, you know. No clue what to do next.”

“Have you considered writing about it?”

“Me? God no.”

Her laughter changed the air. “No writing, then. How about just doing what you’re doing?”

“And what would that be, exactly?”

“Reading articles that have no opinion on Britney Spears. Coming to trivia night. I do believe there might be a space for you on our softball team, if you can find the time.”

He squeezed her hand. “So that’s a no about the book club, right?”

“Tell you what. I’ll get you a copy of the book we’re reading this month. After you’ve finished it, you let me know if you’re interested in joining us.”

“Is it about Britney Spears?” he asked.

“Amusing,” she said archly. “Seriously. That was amusing.”

“Yeah, yeah. But really. Is it fiction?”

“It is,” she said.

“Is it thick?”

“Very.”

He sighed. “Bring it on. I can’t promise anything, but what the hell.”

“No expectations. Some of my closest friends don’t share my taste in books.”

He narrowed his eyes, letting her know this was important. “Are you into Japanese horror?”

“God, yes. I loved Ju-on. Hated the American version.”

That made him sit up straight. “Yes. American directors don’t know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to that moody stuff. And I don’t consider torture porn to be horror.”

She lifted her hand for a high five, which he obliged, but it made him laugh.

“What?”